Observations and inanities by a second-shift assistant supervisor in the Puppy-Grinding division of the Evil Atheist Conspiracy® (our motto: "Sure it's cruel, but think of the jobs!"), your host, Brent Rasmussen.
What'll you have?
"What'll you have?"
"Um, water."
"Look buddy, this is a bar. We serve beer, and whisky. Couple different brands of each. What'll it be?"
"But I don't drink."
"Course you do. Everybody drinks."
"But I don't want anything alcoholic. Got any soft drinks, you know, soda or something?"
"Beer. Whisky. Couple different brands of each. What'll it be?"
"Look, you don't understand - I don't want anything alcoholic."
"Something wrong with you?"
"No, I just don't drink alcohol."
"Wait, I think there's some of that Oriental stuff here under the counter...yeah, sake. You want some of that, instead?"
"It's still alcohol."
"Yeah, so?"
"So, I don't drink alcohol."
"This is Buzz Day. Everybody drinks."
"I don't."
"How 'bout some wine? There's a bottle here in the fridge."
"I don't drink. Not wine. Not sake. Not beer. Not whisky."
"But this is Buzz Day. You have to drink *something*."
"No I don't."
"Yes, you do. Here, tell you what, I'll get you some water to mix with your whisky. Make it nice and weak. How's that?"
"No, I don't drink alcohol."
Glances around. "OK, OK. Here's some water in an empty beer bottle. You gotta at least pretend to drink on Buzz Day, or there'll be hell to pay."
Jim Downey
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Sounds familiar...
As both a non-drinker AND an atheist, this post reminds me of just about every single time I meet someone new and have to go through this song-and-dance. Clever post, though, nice way to get your point across...
interesting analogy, but...
While it's true I that as a recovering alcoholic I avoid bars and as an atheist I avoid Churches or any other "House of Worship", the difference is, I'm still addicted to alcohol, while religion has no appeal to me whatsoever. Sitting through a church service may be boring or unpleasant, but I'm hardly fearful of a "relapse" ;-)
Fair enough.
You can only extend the metaphor so far before it snaps. But I thought I got the point across in a somewhat more humorous way than I usually try to make it. I hope you didn't take offense - I was a little concerned that someone who is in recovery might take it the wrong way.
Jim Downey
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Like Science Fiction? Read my novel, Communion of Dreams, for free.
Blog against theocracy
This is supposed to be one of those posts - but my basic ineptitude about adding images has tripped me up, so it doesn't have the nice image there. Oops.
Oh, and don't be too literal in reading this. I drink. Prefer a decent scotch, but am not that picky. That's not what the post is about. Just in case anyone's confused.
Jim Downey
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Like Science Fiction? Read my novel, Communion of Dreams, for free.
There you go
Just edit your post to see how I did it.
And thank you!
Danke, chief. I'll get the hang of this stuff yet...
Jim Downey
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Like Science Fiction? Read my novel, Communion of Dreams, for free.
Buzz Day
Good piece!
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Troublemaker.
Why, thank you!
Nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Jim Downey
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Like Science Fiction? Read my novel, Communion of Dreams, for free.