Dirk Diggler's blog

These stats really don't come as a surprise to me.

Okay, I guess no one thought Sara Silverman's "I'm F'ing Matt Damon" was funny, but I don't care. As a matter of fact, I'm posting a parody of I'm F'ing Matt Damon called I'm F'ing Obama. Sorry, but I still have a 3rd grade sense of humor and think these things are F'ing hilarious!

Oh my, it's worse than I thought. All I can say is... ew!

And please boycott Nike.

I stumbled accross this guy's videos by mistake. Glad I did because he's pretty funny.

Part one was okay, but part two is excellent:

Has anyone bothered to go see the new movie 10,000 BC? I know some people have because it's the #1 box office movie of the weekend, but that doesn't mean it's any good. I can't decide if it's worth the $67 ($9 for the ticket, $58 for the popcorn, snocaps and softdrink).

I wonder how many creationists have their panties in a wad over the title? After all, wouldn't that be like 6,000 years before gawd created the earth? How come Bill Donohue isn't protesting this movie?

Wooly Mammoths and Saber-Toothed Tigers in Egypt, huh? Going to movies like this is a little like believing in a religion, a willing suspension of disbelief is required. Doing this for a few hours is alright, but your whole life?

(ACPA-london) Excitement is growing in the Northern England town of Huddlesfield following the news that a local man saw an image of the Big-Bang in a piece of toast. Atheist Donald Chapman, 36, told local newspaper, "The Huddlesfield Express" that he was sitting down to eat breakfast when an unusual toast pattern caught his eye.

"I was just about to spread the butter when I noticed a fairly typical small hole in the bread surrounded by a burnt black ring. however the direction and splatter patterns of the crumbs as well as the changing shades emanating outwards from this black hole were very clearly similar to the chaotic-dynamic non-linear patterns that one would expect following the Big-Bang". "It's the beginning of the world" he added excitedly.

Ever since news of the discovery made national headlines, local hoteliers have been overwhelmed by an influx of atheists from all over the country who have flocked to Huddlesfield to catch a glimpse of the scientific relic. "I have always been an Atheist and to see my life choices validated on a piece of toast is truly astounding" said one guest at the Huddlesfield Arms hotel.

First of all, let me say that I am fairly sympathetic to the plight of the Palestinian people. One of the most amazing and dynamic professors I had in college was this man. However, the conflict between the Israeli's and the Palestinians is a huge mess that effects everyone in the world, directly or indirectly. Until a peaceful settlement can be reached, violence will be the regions main export.

Of course religion does absolutely nothing to help. As a matter of fact, religion is just another issue to divide us, cause more conflict and further complicate issues. That's why I get so upset when I see video's like this:

And here is a longer version.

Most of the time I have nothing but nice things to say about Ellen Johnson. She's an intelligent, brave, proud spokesperson for atheists. I probably agree with her 98% of the time. But, I don't know what the hell she is thinking in this instance.

I couldn't disagree more. Not voting is the best way to make politicians continue to ignore us. I am frustrated by the same things Ellen is. However, it makes no sense at all to forfeit my vote, as a protest. That's the worst idea I've heard in a while. Write in Richard Dawkins' name or something, but don't sit home.

The Christian Taliban are at it again. Yesterday, there was a protest held in front of ESPN headquarters in Bristol, Connecticut. The kooks are upset over Dana Jacobson's jokes at a roast and anchor Chris Berman's use of the words "Jesus Christ" and "goddamn" in the workplace.

The Christian Defense Coalition accuses ESPN of having a "lack of sensitivity to persons of faith and a culture of religious intolerance." Un-freakin-believable. They want to sensor my speech now?

The latest attempt to drum up outrage centers around another video, of course. It's a video of Chris Berman going ballistic over incompetent co-workers in the studio. An important thing to note is that this is not part of a broadcast. It's a video of what happened before a show actually started. Berman might be a bit of jerk, but in all fairness, we don't know the circumstances and this is besides the point.

Has anyone ever caught themselves saying TGIF? I hate it when I do that.

Anyway, I don't watch Sara Silverman's or Jimmy Kimmel's shows, but this skit is pretty damn funny.

I should also say that Matt Damon obviously has a great sense of humor as well.

And on a side note, Silverman is Kimmel's girlfriend in real life.

Many of these stats blew my mind, but the last one is downright scary to imagine.

The average life expectancy in the U.S. was 47 years.

Only 14% of the homes in the U.S. had a bathtub.

Only 8% of the homes had a telephone.

A three-minute call from Denver to New York City cost 11 Dollars.

There were only 8,000 cars in the U.S., and only 144 miles of paved roads.

The maximum speed limit in most cities was 10 mph.

Alabama, Mississippi, Iowa, and Tennessee were each more heavily populated than California.

With a mere 1.4 million people, California was only the 21st most populous state in the Union.

The tallest structure in the world was the Eiffel Tower!

The average wage in the U.S. was 22 cents per hour.

The average U.S. worker made between $200 and $400 per year.

A competent accountant could expect to earn $2000 per year; A dentist $2,500 per year; a veterinarian between $1,500 and $4,000 per year; and a mechanical engineer about $5,000 per year.

More than 95% of all births in the U.S. took place at home.

90% of all U.S. doctors had no college education.

Finally, a really good - stupid internet test!

I am 37% Evil Genius.

I want to be evil. I do evil things. But given the opportunity, and a darn good reason I may turn to the good side. Besides I am probably a miserable evil genius.

Take the
Evil Genius Test
@ FualiDotCom

Can someone please explain to me why Christians quote the bible as if it is an argument ending trump card?

This past Sunday I was out taking my dog for a walk in my complex. I know most of the friendly people with dogs because I've lived here for a year. My dog loves to socialize so she heads directly for anyone else with a dog. Of course, I could stop her, but I enjoy meeting new people as well. To make a long story short, Samantha and I ran into a new guy about my age(37) who was walking his dog.

I made sure it was okay for us to approach and he gave permission. His dog was very friendly and happy to meet us. The guy seemed nice at first also. After a bit of small talk he explained to me that he had just gotten out of church and was feeling "full of the Lord" as he put it. I said, "oh that's nice" and tried changing subjects by asking if he was excited about the Giants game that afternoon. The guy completely ignored my question and asked me what church I went to.

Last night while watching (actually more like listening to while cooking dinner) Hardball on MSNBC I thought I heard something strange. I could've sworn I just heard someone on TV say "there is no god." Then they followed up by saying something about how religion caused the twin towers to be knocked down and how the world would be better off without religion. Diet Coke almost came out of my nose.

At first I didn't believe what I had just heard. I found out this was a TV commercial for Richard Dawkins' book The God Delusion when the commercial was repeated several times throughout the evening. Is atheism going mainstream? Is it becoming socially acceptable to be an atheist? I don't feel like things have changed very much, but maybe things are getting better?

I can only hope that people are actually getting the message that it's okay to criticize religion and atheism is not synonymous with devil worship. Maybe someday soon society will reject "men of faith" and appreciate "men of reason" instead? I could be wrong. Is it wishful thinking? Perhaps I am just hypersensitive to godlessness.

I have a bit of a cold and its snowing here again. However, when I saw this on Ed's site, I instantly felt better. Laughter is the best medicine.

Eighth Place:
In Detroit, a 41-year-old man got stuck and drowned in two feet of water after squeezing head first through an 18-inch-wide sewer grate while trying to retrieve his car keys.

Seventh Place:
A 49-year-old San Francisco stockbroker -- who often bragged he was "totally-zoned when he ran" -- accidentally jogged off a 100-foot high cliff on his daily workout.

Sixth Place:
While at the beach, Daniel Jones, 21, dug an 8-foot hole for protection from the wind and had been sitting in a beach chair at the bottom when it collapsed, burying him beneath 5 feet of sand. People on the beach used their hands and shovels trying to get him out but could not reach him. It took rescue workers using heavy equipment almost an hour to free him. Jones was pronounced dead at a local hospital.

Fifth Place:
Santiago Alvarado, 24, was killed as he fell through the ceiling of a bicycle shop he was burglarizing. Death was caused when the long flashlight he had placed in his mouth to keep his hands free rammed into the base of his skull as he hit the floor.

Fourth Place:

I hate Democrats. I don't want to hear another effing word from Democrats complaining about the war or the lack of health care or the big oil companies or torture or any other stupid-ass complaint Democrats have about our government.

NH Primary Results
In yesterday's primary the only two candidates who are convincingly anti-war got 1% of the vote. Kucinich got 3,845 votes and Gravel got 397 votes. Are you kidding me? To all registered Dems, please STFU from now on. I just don't want to hear it.

Dems: You overwhelmingly cast your votes for Hillary Clinton (110,550). The same Hillary Clinton who voted for us to get into this war. The same Hillary Clinton who didn't bother to read the NIE before voting to go to war over Saddam's non-existent WMDs. The same Hillary Clinton who will not apologize and admit a mistake for that vote. The same Hillary Clinton who just recently cast a vote to classify Iran's Republican Guard as a terrorist organization (which is just another gold plated invitation for Bush to start another war).

This has nothing to do with anything usually discussed on UTI, however it's so damn funny, I just had to post it.

Mike Huckabee's secret weapon:

Hey, it's Friday and I'm in procrastination mode.

Let's start with a rhetorical question. Why don't we ever hear about Christian Terrorism on the news? Yes, I already know the answer but I would love to hear what everyone else thinks.

What I am referring to is a number of abortion clinic attacks in Albuquerque last month.

Two attacks occurred early Tuesday at two buildings belonging to Planned Parenthood of New Mexico, according to Albuquerque police and fire officials. An arson fire damaged a surgery center the organization uses for abortions, and the windows of a Planned Parenthood family planning clinic 12 blocks away were smashed, the officials said.

And-

The attacks came just weeks after the Albuquerque clinic run by a nationally known abortion provider, Dr. Curtis Boyd, was destroyed by arsonists on Dec. 6.

Yes it's true. Is anyone really that surprised? Why is it that the most famous people to endorse Ron Paul are Vox Day (of WorldNutDaily) and Tucker Carlson? Oh, I almost forgot about the John Birch Society.

In his latest rant Vox claims that PZ Myers "doesn't even try to make sense" (about Paul):

PZ needs to travel more. Living as he does in rural Minnesota, he has absolutely no idea how migration - not immigration - is completely destroying civilized cultures everywhere from Scandinavia to San Antonio.

Let me be clear. I don't think our current border control policies amount to anything more than lip service, but Vox is suffering from a severe bout of xenophobia. Completely destroying civilized cultures? Yes, illegal immigration should be an issue to be concerned about but let's try to keep the hysteria under control. More ranting about PZ: