This comes as no surprise.

Jim Downey's picture
Submitted by Jim Downey on March 28, 2009 - 10:12am.

Man tosses gas bomb in fight, sets own cars ablaze

BITHLO, Fla. – Authorities said a man threw a Molotov cocktail at his neighbor's trailer, but the wind shifted and set fire to two cars, a pickup and a travel trailer in the man's own yard. The Florida Highway Patrol reported that a 51-year-old man got into a fight with his neighbor on Tuesday night and threw the makeshift gasoline bomb.

And the next sentence should come as no surprise whatsoever:

Authorities believe alcohol was involved.

Oops.

Jim Downey

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pattyp's picture

The other not-at-all-surprising thing

Submitted by pattyp on March 31, 2009 - 2:50pm.

is that it happened in Bithlo. Heh.

Brent Rasmussen's picture

Drunker Than Me

Submitted by Brent Rasmussen on March 31, 2009 - 10:03am.

Trent Tomlinson - Drunker Than Me. Great honky-tonk song. :)

Well, I never thought it'd come to this when I said: "Have another."
'Cause, baby, you turned into me, an' I became my mother.
Well, here's what I'm thinkin':
You're interferin' with my drinkin'.

I think I have an answer to our present situation,
'Cause you an' me out on the town's got built in limitations.
So let me make this clear:
Hey I'm the one who's drinkin' here.

'Cause I ain't worryin' about who's drivin' home,
Who's got the keys, who's got the 'phone.
Who'll pay the bill, call a cab.
I don't mean to make you mad,
But I don't want that responsibility,
An' I can't be with a woman, baby, who gets drunker than me.


frankmoorman's picture

John Prine

Submitted by frankmoorman on March 30, 2009 - 2:55pm.

My own favorite alcohol song, at least that I can currently remember, is from John Prine:

Oh, I get drunk most every night
Seems like all we do is fight
And the more I drink, the less I feel blue.
Sometimes I feel like an awful fool
Spending my life on an old barstool
And yes I guess they oughta name a drink after you.

If this date were to be our last
I'd never sit down this glass
It'd take all the booze in the world
To forget you
You've left my heart a vacant lot
I'll fill it with another shot
And yes I guess they oughta name a drink after you

Looks like I had my fill
Guess I better pay my bill
When I started out I only meant to have a few
Someone just said that you left town
I better get a double round
And yes I guess they oughta name a drink after you

(In between the stanzas, he improvises various drink names, including bloody mary and near beer.)

Frank Moorman, skeptic

Hank Fox's picture

Alcohol

Submitted by Hank Fox on March 29, 2009 - 7:34am.

If everybody here hasn't already heard this ...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Df53LWQuezQ

I can make anybody pretty.
I can make you believe any lie.
I can make you pick a fight,
With somebody twice your size.

I've been known to cause a few breakups.
I've been known to cause a few births.
I can make you new friends,
Or get you fired from work.

And since the day I left Milwaukee,
Lynchburg and Port O Prince,
Been making the bars lots of big money,
And helping white people dance.

Got you in trouble in high school,
College now that was a ball.
You had some of the best times
you'll never remember
With me ... Alcohol!

-- Brad Paisley, "Alcohol"

Brent Rasmussen's picture

Brad Paisley

Submitted by Brent Rasmussen on March 29, 2009 - 11:47am.

I love Brad Paisley as an artist. He's just such a great songwriter. For a less lighthearted take on alcohol, try his duet with Alison Krauss, "Whiskey Lullaby":

She put him out like the burnin' end of a midnight cigarette
She broke his heart he spent his whole life tryin' to forget
We watched him drink his pain away a little at a time
But he never could get drunk enough to get her off his mind
Until the night

He put that bottle to his head and pulled the trigger
And finally drank away her memory
Life is short but this time it was bigger
Than the strength he had to get up off his knees
We found him with his face down in the pillow
With a note that said I'll love her till I die
And when we buried him beneath the willow
The angels sang a whiskey lullaby

The rumors flew but nobody know how much she blamed herself
For years and years she tried to hide the whiskey on her breath
She finally drank her pain away a little at a time
But she never could get drunk enough to get him off her mind
Until the night

She put that bottle to her head and pulled the trigger
And finally drank away his memory
Life is short but this time it was bigger
Than the strength she had to get up off her knees
We found her with her face down in the pillow
Clinging to his picture for dear life
We laid her next to him beneath the willow
While the angels sang a whiskey lullaby


RickU's picture

I also

Submitted by RickU on March 30, 2009 - 6:18am.

I also enjoy the Bare Naked Ladies "Alcohol" song.

I love you more than I did the week before
I discovered alcohol.
Would you please ignore
If you find me on the floor
Trying on your camisole.

Kompani's picture

YouTube Problem

Submitted by Kompani (not verified) on March 29, 2009 - 8:00am.

Just tried to view the YouTube link but it's 'banned' from viewing in the UK. Bah Humbug, don't these people know we're in a global village.

Hank Fox's picture

Banned

Submitted by Hank Fox on March 29, 2009 - 9:38am.

Just look for Brad Paisley, and Alcohol. I can't believe you won't be able to find it somewhere.

Kompani's picture

Banned

Submitted by Kompani (not verified) on March 29, 2009 - 2:23pm.

Using the link I get "This video is not available in your country" (quite common with record company vids) message from You Tube but I have found a crappy handheld concert bootleg version and struggled through with the help of the posted lyrics. I have just returned from a visit to south India and they have similar problems with YouTube content derived from record companies and 'official' sources.

Brent Rasmussen's picture

Our Good Friend Alcohol

Submitted by Brent Rasmussen on March 29, 2009 - 7:16am.

A Homer quote is in order, I think:

"Here's to our good friend alcohol; the cause of, and the solution to, all of life's problems."

ML's picture

Pity this is a group of atheists, or I'd respond with..........

Submitted by ML (not verified) on March 31, 2009 - 11:18am.

.....this quote attributed to Benjamin Franklin:

Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.

On the other hand, I have heard arguments that he didn't say it, although I've seen it on a T-shirt, so wouldn't that make it true?

[To be honest, I've also seen it as "Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to prosper." And it appears that what he said was really "Behold the rain which descends from heaven upon our vineyards, there it enters the roots of the vines, to be changed into wine, a constant proof that God loves us, and loves to see us happy." I'm a small person and the last one won't fit on my T-shirt in a readable font size. And of course I'm tweaking on the atheist thing, but couldn't figure out how to use the quote. I don't know enough country music to go lyrical.]

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