Observations and inanities by a second-shift assistant supervisor in the Puppy-Grinding division of the Evil Atheist Conspiracy® (our motto: "Sure it's cruel, but think of the jobs!"), your host, Brent Rasmussen.
Hahahahahaha! *sniff* Hehehehehehehe!!
Damn, this is funny:
First 'anti-stab' knife to go on sale in Britain
The first “anti-stab” knife is to go on sale in Britain, designed to work as normal in the kitchen but to be ineffective as a weapon.
The knife has a rounded edge instead of a point and will snag on clothing and skin to make it more difficult to stab someone.
It was invented by industrial designer John Cornock, who was inspired by a documentary in which doctors advocated banning traditional knives.
No, seriously, this is not a joke. Here's a bit from the company's website:
In May 2005, my wife Liz watched a BBC TV news feature regarding a report produced by three UK doctors calling for a ban on long pointed kitchen knives. The report, written by Mike Beckett, Emma Hern and Will Glazebrook, cited long kitchen knives as the 'weapon of choice in a high proportion of serious stabbings.' The research they carried out in to the justification of a potentially lethal sharp point, led him to one conclusion - a ban was needed on all long pointed kitchen knives.
I wouldn't advocate a complete ban though their observations made perfect sense - remove the lethal weapons from our kitchen drawers and you will undoubtedly witness a drop in serious knife injuries. However, this raises a pivotal question; what else do we use? Introducing an outright ban would create an immediate knee-jerk reaction, therefore the solution must be more considered.
Being keen home cooks, Liz and I considered how many times we needed a long pointed knife when preparing and serving a meal. After much thought, we realized that in the home, we could see virtually no justification for this type of knife point. Liz then gave me a completely novel idea - why not design a knife point which can be used for everyday cooking but without the dangerous long sharp point?
Wow. I wonder if they'll outlaw files and sharpening stones, too.
Jim Downey
(Cross posted to my blog.)
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You can't get stabbed but
You can't get stabbed but you can get slashed. And it's great for slicing your wrists or somebody's throat! Congratulations Britain, you managed to fail epically.
Make sure you ban any sort of moving vehicle next. Thousands of children die each year due to careless driving.
I foresee
How long until the ban on pointy knives in the UK?
And then scissors?
After that I predict a sharp increase in the sales of cricket bats.
Then they'll ban regular cricket bats and they'll be forced to play NERF cricket.
Holy crap! That's it! NERF is behind all of this.
Those sneaky bastards!
Heh.
"You Bastards! You didn't kill Kenny!"
Jim Downey
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Like Science Fiction? Read *or listen to* my novel, Communion of Dreams, for free.
Santoku Knife
Awesome knife for all kinds of slicing and chopping. No sharp pointy end. Works awesome for any thing not requiring a sharp point end. Like filleting fish. I can't fillet a fish without a sharp pointy end.
Never?
I just now used the point of a knife to pierce some plastic film packaging.
Never in the US
The NKA (you know, National Knife Association) would never stand for that. It's a slippery slope that will lead to the banning of all sharpened pieces of metal. Today the kitchen knives, tomorrow the nail files.
followed quickly by
followed quickly by screwdrivers, ice picks, scissors, and Pat Condell's wit.