Marketing genius.

Jim Downey's picture

As in, it'll take a genius to market this stuff:

India to launch cow urine as soft drink

Does your Pepsi lack pep? Is your Coke not the real thing? India's Hindu nationalist movement apparently has the answer: a new soft drink made from cow urine.

The bovine brew is in the final stages of development by the Cow Protection Department of the Rashtriya Swayamsevak Sangh (RSS), India's biggest and oldest Hindu nationalist group, according to the man who makes it.

Om Prakash, the head of the department, said the drink – called "gau jal", or "cow water" – in Sanskrit was undergoing laboratory tests and would be launched "very soon, maybe by the end of this year".

Is that a promise, or a threat?

As a friend said: "Gives a whole new meaning when people call bad beer 'p*ss water'."

The RSS in the past has promoted the use of cow urine as a cure for cancer and other medical problems. Now, I can see it as a way to lose weight - it'd certainly put me off food - but as a cancer cure? Woo!!!

So, if you're planning a trip to India later this year, and are feeling a little adventurous, feel free to sample this lovely local beverage and report back to me, OK?

Jim Downey

(Via BB. Cross posted to my blog.)

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heterodox's picture

o_0

o_0

Edwardson's picture

Well, if Jesus's meat and

Well, if Jesus's meat and serum are Christian delicacies then why not sacred cows' pee? Hmmm, I wonder what Jesus' er uh water transubstantiates into.

Hank Fox's picture

Jesus' Water

I wrote a bit years back where Christian archeologists were mining kitchen middens all over the middle East, searching for the remains of the shitty diapers of the Baby Jesus, so they could refine out the pure form of the rare magical element Jeezium.

Jeezium can cure any disease, and you don't even have to consume it -- you just have to have it touch you. (Side effects may include occasional stigmata.)

Coat the hull of a boat with Jeezium and it would be unsinkable. Wear Jeezium-coated shoes and you won't even need a boat. Go fishing with Jeezium in your tackle box, and you only have to catch one fish.

I wouldn't even want to imagine what would happen if you walked into a bank with some of it.

The nation that controls Jeezium controls the world.

Siamang's picture

Wow. Finally we can get

Wow. Finally we can get real Calpis.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Calpis

Brent Rasmussen's picture

Puppy Water!

The new Puppy Water from Jägermeister! Now with 25% more urea! It's puppy-licious!

Jim Downey's picture

Maybe this is a way for you . . .

. . . to put Jager's accidents to good use, Brent?

;)

Jim Downey

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Like Science Fiction? Read *or listen to* my novel, Communion of Dreams, for free.

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