Observations and inanities by a second-shift assistant supervisor in the Puppy-Grinding division of the Evil Atheist Conspiracy® (our motto: "Sure it's cruel, but think of the jobs!"), your host, Brent Rasmussen.
Now you too can take advantage of the religious crazies.
Yup. No longer do you have to stand by and watch as the religious leaders fleece their flocks. You don't have to shake your head as the poor suckers hand over their hard-earned cash for "prayer rugs".
You, too, can cash in on the gullibility of the religious crazies - and the best thing about it is that you can do so in a completely above-board and honest fashion, maintaining your dignity and identity as an atheist.
How?
By promising to save their pets when the rapture comes:
You've committed your life to Jesus. You know you're saved. But when the Rapture comes what's to become of your loving pets who are left behind? Eternal Earth-Bound Pets takes that burden off your mind.
We are a group of dedicated animal lovers, and atheists. Each Eternal Earth-Bound Pet representative is a confirmed atheist, and as such will still be here on Earth after you've received your reward. Our network of animal activists are committed to step in when you step up to Jesus.
We are currently active in 20 states and growing. Our representatives have been screened to ensure that they are atheists, animal lovers, are moral / ethical with no criminal background, have the ability and desire to rescue your pet and the means to retrieve them and ensure their care for your pet's natural life.
I need to find out just how much of the $110 fee I can get by being a Missouri rep for this outfit . . .
Jim Downey
(Via MeFi.)
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This is just totally
This is just totally incredibly awesome.
But don't these people believe that pets have souls?
I mean the pet owners. There's all that "rainbow bridge" stuff with people believing their pets are waiting for them in heaven. I dunno - I've known some pets that would follow anything with opposable thumbs given half a chance.
What I really want permission to take over is their cars. Only if I get to choose make and model, though!
Damn
BrainArmor and Janicot:
You mean people with intelligence and ethics have to look out for the well-being of the demented and deluded?
Dang. There goes my plan to sell the Anointed Prayer Cloth.
It's lucky Reverend Ike already thought of it, I guess.
Simply brilliant
I do think this a brilliant idea, there is one logical/ethical paradox though. Since they don't believe there is going to be a rapture they are knowingly accepting money for a service they don't believe that they will ever have to render. That seems somewhat unethical to me.
I'm emotionally conflicted
I'm emotionally conflicted about this idea.
For me it's an extension of the same old ethical dilemma. I've never felt too bad about Christers just giving away their money but it sure feels an awful lot like abusing mentally handicapped people.
At least the Christ hucksters are not part of this equation. But it seems to drag the people I more or less respect down towards their level.
I'll be surprised if they
I'll be surprised if they make any money at all at it, but then I'm not sure that's the point.
It's a good site, when you think about it, for stuff like this:
Q: How can we trust that you'll honor your service agreement, after all, you ARE atheists.
A: Being an atheist does not mean we lack morals or ethics. It just means we don't believe in God or gods. All of our representatives are normal folks who love and live for their family, are gainfully employed, and have friends of varying beliefs. Some of us are married to believers. Many of us volunteer our time at food banks, animal shelters, meals on wheels organizations, etc. We fully endorse the "Rule of Reciprocity", also known as "The Golden Rule." We just happen not to believe in God(s).
Maybe it's a sly way to get godders to actually read something about atheists that's not written by other godders.
On the other hand, this was a funny bit in the contract:
"If subscriber loses his/her faith and/or the Rapture occurs and subscriber is not Raptured (i.e. "left behind") EE-BP disclaims any liability; no refund will be tendered."
Which loosely translates to "Not only are you going to be stuck here, abandoned by God and tortured by demons and stuff because you're a stinking hellbound sinner, but you'll also have to feed your own damned dogs ... and we're not giving back the money!"