Observations and inanities by a second-shift assistant supervisor in the Puppy-Grinding division of the Evil Atheist Conspiracy® (our motto: "Sure it's cruel, but think of the jobs!"), your host, Brent Rasmussen.
Well, Jiminy Cricket, this is a great idea!
When you get in trouble and you don't know right from wrong,
give a little whistle!
Taking the old song lyrics to heart, if inverting the intent a bit, police in the Chicago suburb of Oak Park have come up with a cunning plan to thwart crime:
Oak Park crime: Police pass out whistles to help residents fight back
Jump in burglaries and robberies prompts giveaway
Thousands of Oak Park residents are being equipped with a simple device to help fight crime in the village.
Police are passing out whistles that they are urging citizens to blow if they are victims of or witnesses to a crime.
Officers distributed hundreds of the shiny whistles at two stations along the CTA's Green Line in Oak Park on Friday and will be passing out more Wednesday along the Blue Line. Giveaways elsewhere are expected to take place in the weeks ahead.
"We think they are going to go quick," said Oak Park Police Cmdr. Keenan Williams.
The village conducted a similar program in the 1980s, and Police Chief Rick Tanksley earlier this year suggested bringing it back after statistics showed that burglaries and robberies were on the rise.
I'm sure that criminals will now flee Oak Park, in the face of this devastating new crime-fighting tool. I mean, they might actually have their hearing damaged, should a brave citizen use their police-issued whistle. And based on previous experience, and the complete eradication of crime in Oak Park following the last time this tactic was used . . .
. . . wait, what's that? You mean crime wasn't eliminated in Oak Park by the whistles last time? Huh. Maybe that would explain why this brilliant program hasn't been put into effect in cities around the country.
Then why do it? Well, here's another small bit from the Tribune article:
The village had about 3,000 whistles delivered at a cost of about 50 cents each, he said. The cost was paid by Community Bank, whose logo is on the side of each whistle.
I mean, I hate to be cynical or anything, especially this time of year, but it sure seems like nothing but an advertising gimmick to me. One backed by the boys in blue. I wonder who in the city government got what kind of special favor for that little trick?
Now, in all honesty, I do actually carry a whistle with me. No kidding. But when it comes to wanting a defense against crime, I'd prefer one of my concealed-carry pistols.
Except, of course, that that isn't allowed in Illinois. Hmm.
Jim Downey
(Cross posted to my blog.)
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Actually
This is one of those cases when you could stand to rein in your cynicism a bit. Whistles are very effective tools in urban areas when used in conjunction with a public awareness campaign so that when they're heard, the police (or bystanders who are capable of intervening) are alerted. Whether it's the whistles or the raised awareness, it gets tougher for the bad guys to operate and word gets out. As recently as two or three years ago, a similar campaign was revived, to good effect, after several random gay bashings in the Castro in San Francisco.
I don't bear a grudge. I have no surviving enemies.
Looks like your website is
Looks like your website is under attack from supernatural forces...
http://www.mabusisapoopyhead!.com
you really need to add comment moderation to your blasphemy...
Give a Little Whistle
It would be funny if a local strip club were to print another 3,000 whistles and hand THOSE out. Or the atheists.
"Since there's no God, whistle instead of pray when you need help."