Fun with Internet Scammers

Lucky me! Apparently, my soul mate from Ghana has found me on my blank, semi-abandoned Myspace page! Had a lovely an entertaining chat session with her--also got some very professional phots that I cannot really post here.
But I saved a chat log from the session if anyone is interested. Forgive the chat spelling and typos. I'll correct any of my more egregious screwups, but leave hers intact.

Her screen name is "God Time is the best Appiah" and this is literally the first contact with her.

_____________________________________
God time is the best Appiah is Available
Me:
hello?

You wanted to talk to me?

God time is the best Appiah:

yes

Me:
I'm here

God time is the best Appiah:
I'm Hafiz by name and you?

Me:
Steve

God time is the best Appiah:
Nice to meet you Steve, So where do you live?

Me:
The US. And you?

God time is the best Appiah:
Ghana , Do you know there??

Me:
Yes, I do. Imagine that.

God time is the best Appiah:
Oh okay so what do you do for a living i got you at myspace

Me:
Sigh. It's quite odd how folks from Ghana are suddenly picking me out of my blank myspace profile.

You are not the first this week.

God time is the best Appiah:
Oh I see, What are you looking for?

Me:
I'm not looking for anything, really. You're the one who found me. What are you looking for?

God time is the best Appiah:
I'm looking for my one perfect match

Me:
Of course. You're female, I suppose?

God time is the best Appiah:
Yes I'm, So How many people did u met in Ghana?

Me:
Just you two so far. You're in Accra?

God time is the best Appiah:
No, I'm in Tema

Me:
Ah, so, just a remarkable coincidence.

God time is the best Appiah:
Oh yea

So are you still chatting with the girl who is from Ghana as while

Me:
not so far today. I expect to hear from her eventually, though.

God time is the best Appiah:
Do you have relationship with her?

Me:
Not yet though I don't know what she thinks.

She did send me some nice pictures.

God time is the best Appiah:
Oh okay i see

Oh okay

Do you care about the long distance

Me:
Not so much. After a few hundred miles, it's all the same anyway.

God time is the best Appiah:
Oh okay so have u ever fall in a relationship before?

Me:
A number of times, and out of them too

How about you?

God time is the best Appiah:
Oh i have been in a relationship 3yrs now and it did,nt work out

Me:
well, they often don't. Not your fault.

You should know I am not at all religious.

God time is the best Appiah:
I am a muslim you

Me:
An atheist.

Muslims are a minority there, aren't they?

God time is the best Appiah:
Oh yea they are

Me:
So you're not Ashanti, I expect.

God time is the best Appiah:
Cos is not the country of Muslim

Me:
Well, it was somewhat before the British got ahold of it.

God time is the best Appiah:
Oh yea i am rather from the Western Region

Me:
Hausa? I knew a couple Nigerian Hausa in college.

God time is the best Appiah:
I speak Hausa as while

Me:
Ok, that's what I had figured.

So tell me about yourself.

God time is the best Appiah:
Well Dear as you already know my name is Hafiz .I am 32 single with no kids and never been married before,I am 5"7tf 135lbs, I live in Tema Accra thats the capital town of Ghana, a country based in the Western part of Africa.I am a student studying Art and i am now in my final year and i am looking forward to Graduate very soon.I live with my mom,uncle and brother but lost my dad...

I do beutician and arts in the university where i study

Me:
A familiar story. You forgot to remove Accra from the paste, though.

God time is the best Appiah:
What do u mean by thats

Me:
Read it yourself. You have Terna and Accra in there.

God time is the best Appiah:
yes we have Tema in Accra there

why are you asking

Me:
I see, just looking up something.

Quite a smaller city in the Accra region on the coast.

God time is the best Appiah:
What do u want to know about me

Me:
I don;t know. What would you like to tell me? What would you like to know about me?

God time is the best Appiah:
Who do you leave with and what do you do for a living?

Me:
I live alone. I fix computers for a large communications company.

God time is the best Appiah:
Oh okay so what is ur age ?

Me:
oh, older than you. 46

No wife, no kids, no pets. Just me and my house and cars.

God time is the best Appiah:
Oh age is just numbers and i dont matter about age i am here looking for my soulmate

Me:
Why do you think you'll find it in a foreigner you picked off myspace?

God time is the best Appiah:
Oh give a try you may not know where love will come from

Me:
True enough.

I do find that an American passport seems to make me attractive in some parts pf the world.

God time is the best Appiah:
Oh yea

Me:
LOL. that's surely my most redeeming feature.

There's always someplace somebody wants to get away from.

God time is the best Appiah:
Oh i am really looking for a man seriously cos i can see i am not getting any younger and i need a man to settle down with

Me:
But someone to settle down outside a poor country would be a nice thing, though.

Surely there's no shortage of nice ghanian men?

God time is the best Appiah:
Why are you saying thats

Oh they are but they are ubfaithful here

Me:
What makes you think we're any better?

God time is the best Appiah:
i know the whole world men are unfaithful but Ghanaians are more but i dont know about the rest

Me:
More than half of our marriages end in divorce.

But we are a bit more open about it, I suppose.

God time is the best Appiah:
Oh ok

Me:
We manage to be both sexually wild and straight-laced at the same time.

I'm sure you've seen our movies.

God time is the best Appiah:
Yes

Me:
We lead the world in both religion and pornography.

God time is the best Appiah:
Yes

Me:
But I expect we treat women rather better than West Africans.

God time is the best Appiah:
Oh yea i am Glad you know

Me:
And the police and government work more or less properly

God time is the best Appiah:
Oh yea so tell me about your Famil

Me:
Although the health care system is a failure

Oh, my family isnt part of my life, really. Most of them live rather far away and i seldom talk to them.

God time is the best Appiah:
Oh thats cool so how many Car do you have

Me:
Just as well, they're likely to be racists.

Oh, a car and a truck.

God time is the best Appiah:
Oky

Me:
The truck is for work. The car mostly sits in its garage.

So what happens if you meet your soulmate?

God time is the best Appiah:
We will move with our lifes and see what it leads us to

Me:
What happens if you're not HIS soulmate?

Men are pigs, you know. Even here.

God time is the best Appiah:
Oh yea i know about thats

Me:
Not as much as Russian men, but still pigs.

So your man was unfaithful to you?

God time is the best Appiah:
Oh i understand you

Do you know what happened in my first relationship

Me:
tell me

God time is the best Appiah:
I caught my bf and my best friend on the bed\

I almost fainted

Me:
Well, if you can't share with your best friend, then who can you?

Sorry.

I bet you were better in bed, anyway.

God time is the best Appiah:
I have sent you my pictures

Me:
I see them. Thank you.

You're clearly not an african, I see.

Indian? North African, Arabic?

God time is the best Appiah:
Oh yea my Mum is from Australia sorry did,nt tell you

Me:
Still don't see any Ghanian in that face.

God time is the best Appiah:
Oh really

mmm

Me:
When did you have these taken? They're very nice and you certainly don't look 30

God time is the best Appiah:
Thats what alot say....Actually i look different from african but let me tell you african they are whites even fair than me

Me:
yes, well, there is plenty of colonist blood around. Particularly in the South.

Not an issue, either way.

God time is the best Appiah:
Oh okay i hope you will also send me urs

Me:
Itake it you aren't a very religious muslim

http://www.facebook.com/ajames310#/profile.php?ref=name&id=1000001998878...

God time is the best Appiah:
Oh yea

Me:
It might be the pink nail polish and navel jewelery that threw me off.

God time is the best Appiah:
Wow you look good and handsome

Me:
Too bad you're wearing so much in those.

Thank you, I don't feel handsome.

God time is the best Appiah:
Oh yea

so do you have a cell

Me:
WE all have them. I even work for a cell phone company.

God time is the best Appiah:
Okay give me your cell

Me:
I have them built into my car.

God time is the best Appiah:
Ok

Me:
country code is 01, I believe, then 317-******* (note: not my cell. Who knows what it is? Redacted.)

Planning an overseas call?

God time is the best Appiah:
Can you save mine

Me:
If you give it to me.

God time is the best Appiah:
+233543746387

Brb

Me:
I'll be here, though I'm on a business call at the moment.

God time is the best Appiah:

Hello Steven im back

Me:
hi there again

God time is the best Appiah:
I am here baby where did you go to

Me:
Had a business call

took an hour.

God time is the best Appiah:
Oh okay

Oh ok did you get mt text message

Me:
no, sorry. That cell doesnt get texts, I'm afraid.

It's my company cell and they have that turned off.

youll just have to tell me here

Still with me?

ok, so you're gone again.

well, I should be around if you want me later.

God time is the best Appiah:

hello

I'm here now

Me:
there you are

ben busy?

God time is the best Appiah:
Yes I'm

No I lost connection

Me:
that stupid internet

where were we?

God time is the best Appiah:
I was working on the computer

Me:
I didnt get your text because that phone doesnt get texts.

its a company phone and they have turned them off in favor of email

God time is the best Appiah:
Oh I see, So would you like me to be there with you?

Me:
It would brighten my day, but I dont think you'd enjoy it much

God time is the best Appiah:
Yes I will like to be there with you

Me:
it's also about 60 degrees colder here.

Youd be shivering too much to enjoy it.

God time is the best Appiah:
Yes baby

Me:
Although I could find some way to keep you warm.

God time is the best Appiah:
Yes Baby , Will you like to build a relationship with me

Me:
could be. What do you have in mind?

attractive religion airplane? (Note: I toss these nonsense phrases in to see if any reaction occurs.)

God time is the best Appiah:
Hmmm

So When do u think i will be there with u

Me:
I dont know. Have you made plans?

What work do you do?

God time is the best Appiah:
Yes I think we could has a team for me to be there with you

I dont work, I am student

Me:
Oh, yes, you study art. What kind of art?

God time is the best Appiah:
bisial art

Me:
visual?

God time is the best Appiah:
VISUAL ART SORRY

Me:
what kind do you do? Mixed media paper? paint? sculpture, welding?

God time is the best Appiah:
paper

Me:
AH, I see.

What have you been working on lately?

God time is the best Appiah:
So would you help me to come there?

Me:
When are you planning to come over?

God time is the best Appiah:
Next two weeks

Me:
Seems quick. What about your studies?

God time is the best Appiah:
i will be right back baby

I'm back

Me:
me too

so you want to come to america?

God time is the best Appiah:
Yes I do

Me:
that's not unusual, but you probably dont understand how cold it is here

God time is the best Appiah:
I understand and i can live there with you, I just want us to work as team for me to come there

Me:
So if you come over to see me, what will happen then? You're not a virgin, are you?

God time is the best Appiah:
I'm not a virgin to be honest

Me:
good. virginity is not prozed over here.

not prized. not valued.

sex requires practice. Hve you had much practice?

God time is the best Appiah:
Yes Baby

Me:
so youre good at it, then? So am I.

God time is the best Appiah:
Yes I'm

Me:
What do you like best?

God time is the best Appiah:
Anything

Me:
that covers a lot of territory for a good muslim girl

Maybe I should put you in the hijab

I don't suppose you have any more revealing pictures

I'd love to see more of you.

God time is the best Appiah:
Really

I dont have camera I will help a camera to get you more pictures of me

Me:
Oh, well.

God time is the best Appiah:
Yes, baby

Me:
The ones you gave me are nice.

Who took them?

God time is the best Appiah:
Thank you

My sister

Me:
Is she as cute as you? How many wives am I allowed?

God time is the best Appiah:
Yes

4

Me:
So I can have her too? I knew islam had something to offer.

God time is the best Appiah:
Yes baby

Me:
Both sisters at once sounds fun.

God time is the best Appiah:
Yeah will you get to date both of use?

as

Me:
well, that's a nice offer, I admit

God time is the best Appiah:
Cool

Can you take care of both of us?

Me:
Maybe. You might have to help each other out a bit while I watch.

God time is the best Appiah:
Ok Baby

Me:
(Redacted, sorry. This was an intentionally embarrassing statement.)

God time is the best Appiah:
Yes I know that but u will be bed aweek with her and another aweek with me

we understand each other

Me:
Oh, I just mean I cant have children

God time is the best Appiah:
Yes I dont mind about that baby and I'm looking for the right man

Me:
and of course I cant legally marry both of you in this country.

We'll keep her around for fun, though.

So what makes you think I'm the right man?

God time is the best Appiah:
Let's forget about my sister and talk about me and you

Me:
ok, go ahead

what makes you think I'm the right man

God time is the best Appiah:
I dont really know but i can feel it in my heart desire

Me:

I imagine getting to america is worth quite a lot to you.

God time is the best Appiah:
Yes, I wish i had the camera to take more of me and send you so that you can see how badly i want you

Me:
oh, you're good.

God time is the best Appiah:
Yes will you get me the camera?

Me:
are they expensive there?

God time is the best Appiah:
Yes it cost 100$

Me:
seriously? It'd be cheaper for me to ship you one from here.

God time is the best Appiah:
No It will cost you alot to send me the camera here I think it will be easy when u send me the money so that i can get it here

Me:
I knew something like that was coming up somewhere.

God time is the best Appiah:
No Ok let us forget about the camera

Me:
It's not really needed. I can see all of you when you get here.

Too bad I'm so ugly. You may want to close your eyes.

God time is the best Appiah:
Ok I agree with you , So I will be graduating from school next two weeks

Me:
Are you using a friend's email?

You agree I'm ugly?

God time is the best Appiah:
No But I dont care about how Ugly u are or how handsome u are

How do u mean am using a friend email?

Me:
so long as I have a US passport?

Your email says 'victoria appiah'

God time is the best Appiah:
Yes That is my mother's name

Me:
sounds right. and you're hafiz appiah.

God time is the best Appiah:
My mom is a christian and m father is a muslim

Me:
Have to get you a western name. Tough for muslims in the US

God time is the best Appiah:
so am call Hafiz Sadik

Me:
ah, i see. yes, immigration could have an issue with a name like that.

God time is the best Appiah:
Yes Baby

Me:
So you want to come in two weeks to America. What do you need from me?

God time is the best Appiah:
I will like you to help me with the visa i will get the passport

Me:
Visa, yes, I can assist in that area. I have done it before.

God time is the best Appiah:
Do you know how much it cost?

Me:
I can check. I can also make arrangements to pay it to my government. (note: A lie, in case, you're interested.)

God time is the best Appiah:
No I would get us to do everything here

I will like get us to get everything done here

Me:
Oh, how much is it? Really, I can handle that on my end. no problem.

God time is the best Appiah:
So try to assist do we can finish everything and we will be together Ok

It cost 600$ For american Visa

Me:
Odd.

God time is the best Appiah:
What is the mean of Odd?

Me:
What kind of visa are you looking for?

God time is the best Appiah:
What visa will u like me to get?

Me:
oh, the tourist visa is easiest.

A fiance visa is more complex.

God time is the best Appiah:
I will take care of the passport which cost 350$

That is married Visa right

Me:
well, babe, the thing is that a visa to the united states costs $131

God time is the best Appiah:
No not here

Me:
well, you know, the visa comes from the US government

And they set their fees. And they say its $131

God time is the best Appiah:
That is why there is chip

Me:
chip?

cheap?

God time is the best Appiah:
cheap

Yes

Me:
No, see, specifically, the US government prices visas from Ghana to the US at $131.

God time is the best Appiah:
No It cost here 600$

Me:
And who told you this?

God time is the best Appiah:
My uncle's friend work in the american embassy

Me:
Better check with the embassy yourself. Someobdy is trying to make some money off of you.

Give me a name and i can get them recalled and arrested.

God time is the best Appiah:
What name?

Me:
of the embassy official who tells you the visa is $600

I know some state department folks. They dont like corrupt officials at all.

God time is the best Appiah:
everything is changed here in Ghana now

Me:
The visa has nothing to do with ghana. It's a US document. If someone tells you it is $600, they are committing a crime.

God time is the best Appiah:
Ok baby i will see to it my self Ok

Me:
Now I have heard that there are some people in ghana going on the internet and claiming that visas cost very much more, so maybe we can catch them this way, eh?

Will you help?

God time is the best Appiah:
Yes

Me:
Apparently those people are just keeping the money

and never even getting the visas.

Quite a coincidence, isn't it?

God time is the best Appiah:
Frimpong Boateng he is the one who told me

Me:
Okay, I will send that to my friends.

Meantime, I can arrange to pay the $131 locally to get your visa issued.

God time is the best Appiah:
Whne?

Me:
just about any time, although I will need copies of your travel documents and passport faxed or brought to the embassy. Two weeks should be enough time if we work quickly.

God time is the best Appiah:
Yes So when will you send me the money for the visa?

Me:
Are you sure you just don't need money for something else? Sick mother, maybe? I'd be more likely to believe that

God time is the best Appiah:
No, Why sick mother

Me:
just guessing.(Note: the previous day's Ghanian soul mate had a sick mother for which she needed money.)

God time is the best Appiah:
what do u mean by that

Ok

Me:
Well, see, i don't need to send money to you. I can pay it here for you. All youhave to do is present your documents to the embassy.

Have you gotten the airline tickets yet?

God time is the best Appiah:
No

You need to send me money for the visa here

Me:
You should probably see how much they are. I don't know where you fly thrrough to get from there to here.

God time is the best Appiah:
What state are u?

Me:
Told you, I don't. It is set up so that american citizens can pay for overseas guests at government offices here. This prevents people being defrauded.

I'm in Indiana. You'll need to get to Chicago.

God time is the best Appiah:
Ok Baby

Me:
I also submit a letter taking responsibility for you whileyou are in the country.

So you'll have to be good or I can spank you.

God time is the best Appiah:
Ok i will be good always for you

I want to get the camera

Me:
Good. The immigration police here are very unpleasant, especially to muslims.

No need for a camera, dear. I trust you.

God time is the best Appiah:
I trust you to baby

Me:
We'll want to get you an american name.

How about Holly?

God time is the best Appiah:
I like that

Me:
Ok, Holly. Just let me know your travel dates and I can arrange for the visa to be issued.

God time is the best Appiah:
Ok and also i will need to go to some shopping

Me:
For what?

God time is the best Appiah:
for me coming there

Me:
There's more cheaper stuff here than you can imagine.

God time is the best Appiah:
Yes I need to buy somethings here to

Me:
Come on over. I will meet you at the airport with a nice fur coat to keep you warm and take you shopping at Victoria's Secret.

God time is the best Appiah:
Yes I know , I need to buy something to here

Me:
You need bring nothing. It's just extra baggage.

God time is the best Appiah:
That will cost me 65$

Me:
IF you decide to go back later, I will give you money to take home.

God time is the best Appiah:
No

That will cost me 65$ for the shopping here

Me:
What is it you need?

God time is the best Appiah:
Africa foodstuff and some africa clothing and nickless

See you tomorrow

we will talk about that more tomorrow

I will miss you

Me:
okay, honey, but you can show up naked if you like. Security will be much easier to get through.

God time is the best Appiah:
see you later we will talk about it tomorrow

Me:
okay. Bye

Think she will IM me tomorrow? I can waste her time as long as she wants.
The disturbing thing is that this apparently works often enough. there are many support groups for victims of what are called 'Romance scams' as well as this garden variety visa payment scam, for which Ghana is becoming as well-known as Nigeria is for money transfer scams.