
Observations and inanities by a second-shift assistant supervisor in the Puppy-Grinding division of the Evil Atheist Conspiracy® (our motto: "Sure it's cruel, but think of the jobs!"), your host, Brent Rasmussen.
How The Cookie Crumbles
Long story short: Three sixth-graders eat cookies on the schoolbus and get crumbs everywhere. The bus driver then pulls a knife, and threatens to slit their wrists if they don't clean up the mess.
Sounds perfectly appropriate to me. I mean, that is exactly what any rational adult person would do in that situation, yes? Lord knows that sixth-grade girls can be viciously violent when confronted with cleaning up cookie crumbs. If it were me, I would have waterboarded the little terrorists.

















The obvious solution...
...is to ban knives. Problem solved.
Er, what?
Jim Downey
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