Observations and inanities by a second-shift assistant supervisor in the Puppy-Grinding division of the Evil Atheist Conspiracy® (our motto: "Sure it's cruel, but think of the jobs!"), your host, Brent Rasmussen.
An Open Letter To Amber Heard
Dear Amber,
I know that right now you're on a whirlwind track to fame and stardom, starring in soap operas, and shooting movies with big stars like Crispin Glover and stuff. At 21 that's got to be a trip! Congratulations on your success in the entertainment industry. Keep your head on straight and you should be fine.
Which brings me to the point of this open letter. I understand that you are an atheist. Good for you! I like Ayn Rand's writing as well.
Do do you think you could fit time into your busy schedule to be the spokesmodel for atheism?
I mean, Richard Dawkins is all smart and stuff, but he looks like a mud duck. As do most of us internet atheists. I mean, cheese and rice! Check out my ugly mug over there on the left! We want to attract people to atheism and away from theism - not scare them away!
It wouldn't take much - just release the rights on a few of your publicity photos, and then get quoted saying a few choice sound bites into a recorder about how frickin' cool atheism is - or some such. You know, get all the young hep cats involved.
In any case, thanks for your time, and thanks for considering it.
Oh, yeah, one more thing - Hubba hubba! Wow! Pbbthhttpbt! Nyuck nyuck nyuck! *steam shooting out of ears* - You make me proud to be an atheist.
Bookmark/Search this post with:
"Oh, yeah, one more thing -
"Oh, yeah, one more thing - Hubba hubba! Wow! Pbbthhttpbt! Nyuck nyuck nyuck! *steam shooting out of ears* - You make me proud to be an atheist."
What really matters is clearly not one's expertise on a subject but how hard they make little weenies.
Thank you for proving, once again, that supposedly logical, rational liberal dudes are as sexist as you fundiest right winger.
Little Weenies
You hear that whooshing noise, A. Nony Mouse? That's the sound of the good-natured humor in this post flying right over your melon. The additional noises following it like wingmen are the underlying points - that I have made before over and over and over - that atheism is not a religion or a political position. Anyone can be an atheist. All it requires is that god-belief is absent within that person.
Yes, even a pretty 21-year-old television actress who uncritically accepts that "macrobiotic diets" actually work can be an atheist.
It must be difficult going through life the way you do, A. Nony - bitter, without even a trace of a sense of humor, insight, sexual desire, or common-sense.
Good luck with that.
Guess what? Some girls are pretty. Guess what else? Guys like me like to look at pretty girls.
I know! Weird, huh? Who would've thunk it?
Grow the fuck up.
I would like to submit...
...that I think Richard Dawkins is a good looking man. In fact, I would go so far as to say that he is a "hawty," even with his advancing age.
I agree with C.L...we need to find more sexy atheist males to attract more ladies. I volunteer myself to embark upon such a quest. ;)
"Please don't beat Teddy." - Teddy, Night of the Seagulls
That sounds like a worthy cause!!
It might be too easy to be sporting though -- almost all of the hot guys I've ever met have been atheists...
Macrobiotic diet???
She might be an atheist but in the article listed it says she followed a macrobiotic diet to get in shape. Surely she can't be a critical thinker if she buys into that sort of stuff? Although she might just have thought it was just another diet and not thought much about it. Wonder if she's a bit of a new ager though.
Who Cares?
Atheism isn't about critical thinking. It isn't about skepticism, science, level-headedness, new age, woo, etc., etc. either.
It's about one thing. Absence of god-belief. (I go into this in much greater detail here and here.) If god-belief is absent within Ms. Heard, then she is an atheist - even if she "buys into" macro-biotic dieting.
You see, this is the problem. Even atheists stereotype atheism. Let's quit doing that. Let the girl be an atheist.
Speaking of Hawt Atheists...
Don't forget Ellen Johnson, president of American Atheists, is a mighty fine looking woman...
obvious proof
If this incredible specimen doesn't convince you of a creator, then you guys really are hopeless!! :-)
I mean LOOK AT HER!!!
Is she really an atheist?
I don't actually recall her saying "I'm an atheist now". The article only quotes her as having read some Ayn Rand books her friend lent her and realizing that all she ever needed was herself. I've heard Catholics (as she was raised) admit as much.
So what gives? Or did I miss something?
She "declared herself an atheist".
That's what you apparently missed. I must say it pisses me off how the media will never simply say "John Smith is an atheist." It's always "he claims to be an atheist" or some such - like they know better than us what we believe or don't believe. Funny how they never say "she claims to be a Jew/Hindu/whatever."
- No More Mr. Nice Guy!
This is a rather half-baked plan...
I heard that men were already over-represented in the ranks of atheists, and this strategy will only make it worse...
Not that I'm complaining or anything.
If you're hoping to increase atheism's sex-appeal, I'm doing my part. I get lots of people coming in on search queries to read my topless on the beach post and my who wants to see some sexy topless nude beach sunbathing photos? posts, and according to my logs, a fair number of them stick around to read the more godless posts. Weirdly, I even get people coming in (through google image search) on the one photo I posted of myself in a bikini -- and then they read some of the more serious posts. Of course I'm a 35-year-old mother of two and not a 21-year-old starlet, so I can't promise I'm helping attract people to atheism and not helping scare them away... ;)
Not Cool
Damn. Of course I fell for it. I think you owe us for that gag. I will check out your blog anyway.
Hey cut me some slack...
Okay, so I was kind of playing search engine games with one of those, but it's not as if I'm not also writing about sex for real. I think I've given rational atheist thinking some good publicity with my feminist in favor of porn post, plus there'a also my excommunication and my immodest proposal.
That last one just attracted a search query for "lunch date in car into sex" within the past hour. lol. Ever get those search queries that make you go "Hmmm... well, I haven't actually written about that... yet....." ;)
Sorry, my comment was a
Sorry, my comment was a little vague. I thought the topless gag was funny, and I do plan on checking out your blog more when I have time. I just skimmed the porn, excomm and sex on first date links you provided and was hooked. Very interesting, funny and informative.
P.S. Do you have a sister?
Yes, I do have a sister!!!
And she's single and hot!!! my sis
Unfortunately, she's Mormon. Sorry!!!
Glad to hear you like my blog at least.... :D
Worthy
Now those are truly worthy of the EAC. Fine work!
Pride?
Although pride can swell, I do not believe that is the correct term for the swelling she inspires in you ...
Honestly...
She's cute and all, but really, is her ideology enhanced or denigrated by her looks? If she becomes a Christian tomorrow, would that enhance Christianity?
[OK, I'm one of those mud ducks myself, but, honestly...]
AMBER
One word.. PRETTY!
Hey, I think Julia Sweeney
Hey, I think Julia Sweeney is kind of cute...maybe not drop-dead gorgeous like Amber there, but...
Some of the women columnists for Free Inquiry are reasonably attractive as well.
And in any case, I deeply admire the minds of Shadia Drury, Susan Jacoby, and Annie L. Gaylor (of FFRF, Dan Barker's wife--->the only one I *don't* know the face of is Susan Jacoby).
While Rand & her followers have made noteworthy contributions to the cause of Atheism, her capitalism-ueber-alles stance makes me ill, but then again I'm a godless commie bastard.
Still, if Amber wants to be a spokesperson for atheism, hey, why not?
and not just another pretty face
That USAToday article also makes it sound like she's bright and well-read. Now that is sexy!
OH YEAH I KNOW I WOULD HIT
OH YEAH I KNOW I WOULD HIT THAT. . .