Observations and inanities by a second-shift assistant supervisor in the Puppy-Grinding division of the Evil Atheist Conspiracy® (our motto: "Sure it's cruel, but think of the jobs!"), your host, Brent Rasmussen.
Grinding Puppies For Fun And Profit
Update 8-24-07: A big tip of the ballcap to commenter Clovis, who was kind enough to transcribe the rest of the story below from the paper. Thanks Clovis!
The Early County News in Blakely, Georgia ran an editorial today that begins like this:
[link] Dear editor, A few days ago I found a kitten on the sidewalk at the end of Cotton Street. It was dehydrated and very weak. It had laid down on the sidewalk to die. It has a 50 percent chance of survival. I am doing everything I can to save it. To the person who committed this horrendous inhumane act, I have a question for you. Are you an atheist?
"Are you an atheist?" Excuse me? Does the writer ask this question because they believe that only a dirty, rotten, amoral, evil atheist would cruelly torture a kitten, then leave it out on the hot sidewalk to die? Or, is this first paragraph the jumping-off point to a larger idea that discounts the notion that only atheists are nasty enough to dehydrate kittens (and grind puppies)?
I have no idea. The problem is that this is only the first paragraph of the editorial, and the whole thing will not be available to the general public, the non-Early County News subscribers for a week.
I'm dying to read the rest of it, because frankly it could go either way. If any UTI readers in or around Blakely, Georgia out there have a subscription to the Early County News, either online or paper, or if you can buy a copy of the paper in a 7-11 or something, could you locate and post the rest of this editorial please? Thanks!
Update 8-24-07: Here's the rest of the editorial, and it's much as I expected. Like Hank pointed out below, replace "people who believe in God" with "white people", and "atheist" with "black person", and you'll get a wholoe different take on this person's hateful, twisted little mind.
[link] Because people who believe in God do not commit inhumane acts against animals, instead they show love, compassion and commitment from their hearts towards their pets. You will pay for the evil sins you have committed against this innocent animal. I would give this serious thought. Judgment day is coming.
Marion English.
Bookmark/Search this post with:
The rest of the story
(this picks up where you ended)
Because people who believe in God do not commit inhumane acts against animals,Instead they show love,compassion and commitment from their hearts towards their pets.You will pay for the evil sins you have committed against this innocent animal.I would give this serious thought.Judgement day is coming.
Marion English.
This was copied word for word from the Paper.......
Yeppers.
"People who believe in God do not commit inhumane acts against animals."
Thank you for clearing that up, Marion.
THEREFORE, people who commit inhumane acts against animals don't REALLY believe in God, right? And maybe it follows that people who don't believe in God DO commit inhumane acts against animals. I mean, what's to stop us? If there's no God and no hell, we might as well just kill and rape at will, and even walk around with our underwear showing.
...
Oh, dammit. I was so caught up in writing this comment that I went and missed the starting time for the annual Field of Tethered Kittens Riding-Lawnmower Races. Crap.
Maybe I'm not an atheist afterall
Well shit. I work for a non-profit laboratory that performs dermal and ocular irritation assays on things like 3-dimensional human tissue constructs and cow corneas that would normally be discarded after slaughter. We are listed as an official charity right there with the Humane Society because of the animals' (mostly rabbits) lives that we save. Do I have to turn my atheism membership card in?
Mandy U
Hateful
Paraphrasing to shine some light on the true nature of this silly crap:
To the person who committed this horrendous inhumane act, I have a question for you. Are you a negro? To the person who committed this horrendous inhumane act, I have a question for you. Are you a Jew? To the person who committed this horrendous inhumane act, I have a question for you. Are you a woman? To the person who committed this horrendous inhumane act, I have a question for you. Are you a teenager? To the person who committed this horrendous inhumane act, I have a question for you. Are you a Mexican? To the person who committed this horrendous inhumane act, I have a question for you. Are you a liberal?
To the person who wrote this thoughtless piece of shit, I have a question for you:
Are you a nice god-fearing Christian? Or just an everyday brainless jerk who has no idea how stupid and offensive he sounds?
Or ... maybe both?
Datum
I am atheistic.
Upon returning home from a trip, my wife and I heard plaintive miaowing. It was a lice-infested, scrawny starving kitten stranded about 3 metres high on a tree by our front yard.
For any who know cats, it was an indication of its hunger that it devoured a great portion of a tin of dog food.
That was over seventeen years ago. The cat died a few days ago, of old age.
Hats off John.............
.............to you and your good lady. As far as I am concerned it is Christians with their "have dominion" mindset who are far more likely to abuse animals and far less likely to show compassion for them than atheists whose minds are free of such prejudice. Commiserations on the loss of your little friend, I'm sure he or she contributed in no small way to to your and your wife's happiness during those seventeen years in recompense for your kindness.
Ah...
...sorry to hear of your loss, John. Funny, isn't it, how these furry things so become a part of our lives?
I've always preferred rescue animals of one sort or another.
Good on you.
Jim Downey
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Like Science Fiction? Read my novel, Communion of Dreams, for free.
Treating Critters Like Critters
I have observed that there is a connection between how people treat dogs and cats and pot-bellied pigs and budgies and small lizards and bugs and et cetera, and how they treat each other.
I am most comfortable around people whose treatment of all these small ones is similar to how they treat me. It shows an equability of character, I think. Such people are easy for me to know and remember.
For some reason I take comfort when I observe someone granting favor to, pausing a moment for, or just taking the time to be nice to another form of life. Curiously, I entertain the idea that I must be such a godless bastard to not see the deeper meaning. Talk about backslidden!
Critters
The reverse seems to be true, too. Apparently mistreating animals is the gateway, for many psychopaths, to torturing and killing people.
...
I myself don't expend a lot of energy on compassion for bugs. I think of them more as biological machines than critters with feelings, and I'm not above occasionally switching them off with my shoe. Especially if I see them in my house shortly before bedtime, and they seem conceivably able to get up on the bed with me.
Atheism isn't the only assumption she makes
Who's to say a person left the kitten on the sidewalk at all? It could have been the offspring of a feral cat, which was transporting her litter when something happened to her. The kitten itself could have gotten hit by a car, or chewed up by a dog or by a male feral cat. Did the woman look around for other kittens, perhaps under a nearby bush?
That's probably atheists' fault somehow.
For that matter, the little kitten could have gotten lost - kittens do - and the weather has been cruelly hot in that area for the last few weeks. The owner, an atheistic porn-store owner, is frantically searching for his little companion.
lost kitten
God probably told her. When she was done drinking christs blood and sacrificing humans.
God is love
God loves you
Why not to use the bible as toilet paper
Meow
It could have been the offspring of a feral cat, which was transporting her litter when something happened to her. The kitten itself could have gotten hit by a car, or chewed up by a dog or by a male feral cat.
I knew it!! Cats are atheists!! Dogs are probably agnostics. Chickens, I am sure, are theists. Ever notice how they look up to heaven in prayer after taking a drink of water?
Chickens, I am sure, are
Of course they are. That's why they cross the road, they're searching for god...
and searching... and searching... and searching...
who do cows worship?
theirs a religion that worships cows but who do cows worship?
God is love
God loves you
Why not to use the bible as toilet paper
You can read it free after a week
From the page you linked:
Access to full versions of news stories from issues older than 1 week are available to all readers for free in our archive of all issues.
http://www.earlycountynews.com/common/archive.html
Um, yeah...
That's why I specifically said:
But I'm an impatient bastard. Heh.
What?
Does that mean that you made up the rest?
God is love
God loves you
Why not to use the bible as toilet paper
More than that.
Brent, you're more than that. You're a puppy grinding impatient bastard. And you're our hero because of it.
Jim Downey
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Like Science Fiction? Read my novel, Communion of Dreams, for free.
Why grind puppies?
When you can grind cows and be a saint for feeding people?
God is love
God loves you
Why not to use the bible as toilet paper
grinding puppies
If we eat meat are we accessories to grinding cows?
How is that different from grinding puppies?
Is dog life some how sacred?
God is love
God loves you
Why not to use the bible as toilet paper
Whaa? Clearly this person
Whaa? Clearly this person has not read the Old Testament. It's Yahweh and his followers that torture and kill animals for completely capricious reasons.
Anyway, Blakely Georgia (aka. peanut capital of the world) has about 6,000 residents. Type in "churches Blakley Georgia" on google maps then...do the math.
Your wrong
It couldn't have been old testament followers.
The cat was still alive and not even singed (burnt) a little.
Yahweh likes the smell of roasting flesh remember. Hence the need for hell. If you don't please god with the smell of burning flesh in life you'll do it after life.
God is love
God loves you
Why not to use the bible as toilet paper
The suspense is killing me
Did one of us torture the kitten? Was it a frame up? Act of God?
Did one of us torture the kitten? Was it a frame up? Act of God?
It was probably the satanists who did it.
Since satanism is a sect of christianity it was probably christians who did it.
God is love
God loves you
Why not to use the bible as toilet paper
The highest cost is Internet Only subs?
Several newspapers all link to a local one in which I have a subscription, so I always try those codes when I find a new paper. Doesn't work for this one, and I found their subscription chart interesting:
Early County News
Subscription Order Form
Early County News
One Year Rates Print Combo(Print&Internet) Internet Only
Local* $21.40 $32.10 $52.00
Out-of-area $36.92 $47.62 $52.00
Senior Citizen
One Year Rates Print Combo(Print&Internet) Internet Only
Local* $18.19 $28.89 $52.00
Out-of-area $31.30 $42.00 $52.00
(Six month and two-years rates available upon request.)
Puppy killers
I'm sure Michael Vick believes in Jesus...
atiests
Believing that god doesn't exist is better than believing god is evil christians do.
grinding puppies for fun and profit
So how much money do you make grinding puppies?
God is love
God loves you
Why not to use the bible as toilet paper