Just in time for the holidays.

Just in time for the holidays, comes this friendly bit of advice from your Big Brother:

As the busy holiday travel season approaches, TSA would like to help you get through the security checkpoint quickly and have a safe flight to your destination. Our Transportation Security Officers will be working around the clock to provide an efficient security process. We're asking you to become an active partner in your security experience by knowing the rules and carefully packing your carry-on bags.

Pack smart to get through faster. Keep luggage organized by layering items; this will increase visibility for the security officers. When approaching the checkpoint, be prepared.

Yes, be prepared. I recommend the little packets of KY Jelly, or the 'personal lubricant' of your choice, in order to comply with security regulations and reduce pain.

*Sheesh*

I know full well what is going on - they just want to reduce the hassle of getting hassled. Comply like good little sheep in their absurd bit of Security Theater, and everything will be fine. Pack your bags to make it easier and faster for them to sort through your personal possessions. Be sure to leave any memory of the Constitution at home.

I sometimes wonder what would happen if we all just started a passive resistance movement - packing our bags extra sloppily, making sure to have IDs tucked away in the bottom of your purse, wearing shoes and coats which are bulky and hard to remove. Nothing that'd get you put on The List, or pulled off for a little extra 'personal attention', just slow things down by a couple of minutes. If everyone just refused to cooperate a little, soon the airline industry would be crying for less intrusive (yet more effective) security measures, and we might - just might - once again have some semblance of respect for our personal effects and private business from our Government overlords.

Jim Downey

(Cross posted to my blog. Via MeFi.)