
Observations and inanities by a second-shift assistant supervisor in the Puppy-Grinding division of the Evil Atheist Conspiracy® (our motto: "Sure it's cruel, but think of the jobs!"), your host, Brent Rasmussen.
I'm 64% American
How American are you? Take the test here.
According to this silly test, I am only 64% American. I guess that's okay. Almost two thirds isn't bad? I would probably score closer to 90% after drinking a twelve pack.
Test Results:
Most times you are proud to be an American.
Though sometimes the good ole US of A makes you cringe
Still, you know there's no place better suited to be your home.
You love your freedom and no one's going to take it away from you!
I suppose I can live with this assessment. I got the feeling the test was written and scored by NASCAR fans.



















42%
***You Are 42% American***
America: You don't love it or want to leave it.
But you wouldn't mind giving it an extreme make over.
On the 4th of July, you'll fly a freak flag instead...
And give Uncle Sam a sucker punch!
And part of what amuses me the most is that I'm the son, grandson, and great-grandson of career US Army officers. That oughta freak somebody out.
Frank Moorman, skeptic
Like a dummy I took the test
Like a dummy I took the test and damn! Sixty! Per cent. Sixty? Why, I can out patriot any greenhorn in the country! I can out sing any two doing the The Star Spangled Banner and I can out jaw any double handful of 'em!
But sixty per cent is just so humiliating. I must be getting rusty.
Need to read the Articles of Confederation . . . Tom Paine . . . Ben . . .
E Pluribus Unum
33%
I guess 33% isn't so bad considering I'm not a US citizen. But to me, it's not a question of giving the US an extreme makeover as returning it to its constitutional roots of honest and accountable government. And there's a lot I love about the US but a lot that has me shaking my head in disbelief and despair.
- No More Mr. Nice Guy!
46% Here
I kind of thought so. I don't hate America -- I hate what it is becoming.
Wow...
You Are 52% American
Most times you are proud to be an American.
Though sometimes the good ole US of A makes you cringe
Still, you know there's no place better suited to be your home.
You love your freedom and no one's going to take it away from you!
How American Are You?
Ouch.
Man, I'm just 49%. That hurts, for someone who was born on the Fourth . . .
Good thing I never take any internet "tests" seriously.
Jim Downey
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Like Science Fiction? Read my novel, Communion of Dreams, for free.
Got you beat . . .
I'm 47%
As usual on those tests, there were a number of questions without an answer I liked. Good thing I don't take it seriously, either!
That *used* to be America's defining day
Jim, if it makes you feel better, I'm sure my birthday is the only reason I'm more American than you.
You Are 61% American
Most times you are proud to be an American.
Though sometimes the good ole US of A makes you cringe
Still, you know there's no place better suited to be your home.
You love your freedom and no one's going to take it away from you!
I was born on the 11th. September 11th. I suspect that everyone now associates what happened that day and the response to it with what it means to be an American more than anything associated with the 4th of July or anything else that happened a couple centuries ago.
Or in language understandable by kids today:
9/11 > Declaration of Independence, sry2say
--
"Ponies are atheists, you know, technically."
- Me