Observations and inanities by a second-shift assistant supervisor in the Puppy-Grinding division of the Evil Atheist Conspiracy® (our motto: "Sure it's cruel, but think of the jobs!"), your host, Brent Rasmussen.
Me? I carried a switchblade.
In what is no doubt more FUD about the War on Terror, an honor student at a Chicago-area high school was suspended and issued a citation for "reckless conduct" by the local police. Why?
For bringing his multi-tool containing a 2" blade to school:
CHICAGO, Illinois, Jan. 17, 2008 (NBC) -- Christopher Berger is an honor student at Grayslake Central High School.
He's also a choir singer, as well as a former football player who spends half the day training to be a firefighter.
"I've never even had a detention," Berger said.
His exemplary record now includes something new: A police ticket for reckless conduct given last week after school officials discovered a multi-tool flashlight in a jacket he left in the cafeteria. The tools include a 2-inch blade, screwdriver, pliers and other gadgets prohibited under school policy.
OK, we're below the fold, so let me voice my opinion of this in no uncertain terms:
FUCK ME TO TEARS.
This kind of mindless bullshit; this third-level iteration of "zero tolerance"; this complete and totally-divorced-from-reality notion that you can "protect people" from dangerous tools will be the death of this country. I mean that, seriously. One of two things will happen: we will be overcome by ruthless savages who are not afraid of a pocketknife; or our children will become so inept in the use of basic implements of construction that our entire infrastructure will collapse around us. (Hey, waitaminnute...)
These people are afraid of a multi-tool? With a 2" blade?? This is a joke, right???
Jim Downey
(Via BoingBoing.)
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Say hello to my little friend!
By sporkyy
This is the knife I've carried with me every day since 1991.
Yes, that includes carrying it to school.
Back in high school I was on the "Media Squad", what you old-timers might have called the "A/V Squad". One day a new shipment of computers came in and me, the Chief Librarian and the Tech Teacher stayed after school to set them up. Of course the first step in setting anything up is getting it out of the box. The first thing I did was innocently ask "How are we supposed to get them out of the boxes?". Which was really a good question as we were in the computer room and there weren't any cutting implements kept in there. The Tech teacher shyly reached into his pocket and pulled out his pocket knife and said "I'm not supposed to have this, don't tell anybody." I suppose he was correct. But I don't think a teacher really has much to fear (I'm not talking about the students). Following his lead I reached into my pocket and pulled out my knife and parroted him by saying "I'm not supposed to have this, don't tell anybody either." We opened all the boxes and got out all the new equipment and set it up.
Should I be shocked that we didn't just start stabbing each other?
I've been meaning to get a Microtech HALO like Jack Bauer has. I imagine that could raise some hackles in some places. But a simple pocket knife? No. Get over yourselves people.
--
"Ponies are atheists, you know, technically."
- Me
The 'logic' behind zero tolerance
Oh, absolutely! Just having a sharp instrument, or a blunt one, or anything that might conceivably be used to hurt someone, will make you turn violent. We should make everyone wear oven mitts all the time. No, wait! Those would be used like boxing gloves! What to do?
Nevermind that your beautiful pocketknife is clearly designed as a tool and as a work of functional art. It is single-edged, fits the hand, no blood groove, and curved just right for a wide range of tasks.
There's an episode of "King Of The Hill" where Bobby gets kicked out of school for wearing a tool belt with a keyhole saw in it. Principal Moss tells Hank Hill; "Anything that could be used as a weapon, IS a weapon."
"That's asinine!", says Hank.
As a proud knife carrier..
..for many decades I'll weigh in. I won't leave the house without one on my person--'preparedness' indeed. It used to be the little Swiss Army knife, but about ten years ago or so I was given a lock blade Spyderco by a fellow sailor, with a wicked-looking serrated blade a bit over 4" long (overal about 8-1/2" opened). It clips into a pocket or on a belt, and it has the thumb hole on the blade so it can be opened instantly and one-handed much like a switch blade.
Some of the other comments here are similar to what I've experienced as well--amazement 'at how big it is' or that I have one at all on me. I get a kick out of the people who need something cut (or pried, or whatever) and then are open-mouth-amazed when I whip it out (with the quick switchblade flick so it's already open when they see it) and ask something stupid like "why do you carry THAT?--To which I respond 'to do exactly what you're needing done now'. I also get a kick out of men who are surprised that I carry one--I respond I'm more surprised at men who don't. And then have to rely on me to do the cuttin' when cuttin' needs doing.
My knife has traveled across oceans with me, and any sailor without a knife is a poor excuse for a sailor IMHO. A knife can save your life or your boat. Besides pick your teeth or toenails--hehehe.
mike 'wicked sharp' keers
Pocketknives
I've carried a pocketknife since I was about 13 years old.
You'd have a chore explaining to the zero-tolerance dullards just why you carry one,
but it's really a "just in case" multiply-useful tool. It's a fingernail harder than fingernails, a tooth sharper than teeth. A very small lever, a little pry bar, a cutting tool for wire, string, tape.
If you were to list all the things it's good for, yes, somewhere on that list of thousands of uses would be "kill and maim others" but ...
...
Wait a second. I just realized I'm attempting to explain the real reasons for carrying a knife as if those reasons actually make some difference.
But they don't. The real reasons for setting a policy of restricting the freedom to carry a knife have nothing at all to do with safety or security.
The real reasons, in the hot little minds of those who do such things to us, have a lot more to do with "We're screwing you — because we can."
There are no other reasons. Everything else is window dressing. Justification for a policy already set in the minds of people who live to gain more and greater control over the lives of others. It's really all about naked power.
All the assholes in government who create these policies, and all the assholes who enforce them – AND all the private on-the-street assholes who act out in ways that encourage them both – do these things because they can. Period.
Every concept of freedom we ever had, and every effort we might imagine for saving and maintaining those freedoms, is now in the hands of people who have no slightest understanding or respect even for the basic idea of freedom.
Damn.
For some it might be just an exercise in power
... but for many, they can only conceive of a pocketknife as a weapon. And they can't imagine why you'd have a "weapon" with you all the time.
Like you, I use a pocketknife a lot. And because I work in an office environment, no one else carries one. (I'm the tech guy they always call to fix things.)
When I pull it out to cut open a box, open an envelope, clip an article from a newspaper, sharpen a pencil, strip insulation from a wire, or any of the countless other uses it has, people often react strongly to it.
The most common reaction is "Be careful!" or "Don't cut yourself!" As funny as that is; I have a well-worn pocketknife in a sheath on my belt, yet I have all my fingers despite having reached an age where hair is a memory. So I have apparently mastered its operation by now.
Occasionally someone make an immediate inference of violence; "Oh, I'd hate to meet you in a dark alley!" And a few years ago one person blurted out the weirdest response ever; "Don't stab me!"
Ok, sure. Idiot.
Best I can figure out is, to associate a common pocketknife with violence, they have no mechanical skills and a weak imagination - especially in connection with someone they've known for years who is about as aggressive as a teddy bear. It's no use explaining to them that there are different kinds of knives, that some are designed for violence and some as tools. Or that when you are driving a car you are in possession of a powerful weapon, yet no one thinks of cars as weapons.
Sometimes I think stupidity is a weapon. Lot of people packing that one.
Of course it's sharp
Back when I was new I would watch my father. Several times a day he would pull out a pocket knife and use it to accomplish a task. He was quite adept and his knife was always sharp.
Some of the things he would do:
Prepare kindling for a fire to heat branding irons, feed us when far from home, make coffee.
Punch a hole in a belt, or a ladigo, or a strap that held something together. For a better fit.
To doctor a wound on a horse or a cow or a dog.
To open a letter.
To pare a torn fingernail.
When he gave me my first knife at age < 10 he told me that there were two important things to remember. First, always cut away from yourself and, two, always keep it sharp. He explained that you have to force a dull knife to cut and all that force is released as the cut is made but you are still applying force to the blade. That force can move the blade too fast and with too much energy to be controlled. I later confirmed his instruction through experiment. I think there might still be a scar somewhere . . .
I still keep a two bladed Buck knife that he acquired about fifty years ago. I keep it sharp. It hasn't cut me or anyone else. It is a useful tool as well as a token of my father's life and his influence. I carry a Swiss Army knife daily because I use it daily. I'm very tool and task oriented.
My standard reply to anyone who is startled or concerned when I open up my knife is "It's the dull knife that cuts you."
Dull Knives
My Metaphor Sense is tingling!
Dull knife = uneducated, ignorant person.
Cut = ridicule, interfere, misunderstand, discriminate, oppress, attack.
Hmm.
Turn of a fiendish phrase
I should warn you-my father beat you to it, Hank. Feel free to use the metaphor but don't forget to give credit to Tom Cat, the 'Ol Master!
OK, I made up that part about my Poor 'ol Pappy using the Dull Knife Metaphor. But he would say of someone who was ignorant or unskilled, "you're ridin' a colt, son." When things went wrong it he shamelessly employed, "that's the way the ol' ball bounces." (Big baseball fan, he was.) And his constant advice was, "keep your word good. Have no fear."
I'm sure he wouldn't mind being repeated widely. I do so often. And I'll follow the lead of you and decrepitoldfool with the DKM as the opportunities occur.
Thanks for the grin, gentlemen!
And a great expression is born
I have heard the words before, but they have different meaning in that context! Next person flames me online, "It's the dull knife that cuts you" :-D
Preparedness.
Yeah, that's pretty much it. And that fact keeps pushing me towards a more libertarian stance than just about anything else. Gah.
A couple of weeks ago I wrote a piece on preparedness on my blog, discussing some of the things I usually carry with me now on a daily basis. But in truth, it really comes down to a certain mindset - that you are responsible for your own safety, at least in the first blush of things. For the authorities to deny this, or the tools you may need, is to do nothing less than to deny you your basic freedoms as a person. Inculcating a mindset of defenselessness makes you more dependent on them, and less in control of your own life.
Jim Downey
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Like Science Fiction? Read my novel, Communion of Dreams, for free.
Where to stash your blade
I was swapping stories with a friend about inadvertently carrying a pocket knife or similar implements to a courthouse and being told we couldn't bring them in. I could take mine back to my car, but he couldn't. Somebody recommended the potted plant out in front of the building, and, when he went to put his there, he discovered about 20 others lying there. Quite a common practice, to carry a knife around, I guess.
Frank Moorman, skeptic
In many courthouses . . .
...in states which allow concealed-carry of firearms, they have security lockers available for public use. Just ask the guard at the entrance.
Jim Downey
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Like Science Fiction? Read my novel, Communion of Dreams, for free.
I carried a Case 'Sodbuster' in high school
...but that was back in '73. In England you can get in trouble for having a pocketknife on the street. You have to explain "what you need it for" and they'd better like your explanation.
How did the stupid people get to be in charge? Is there any way to fix that?
Chris Cope . . .
...this doesn't relate *exactly* to your comment, but what the hell.
Chris Cope (a Yank living in Wales and blogging about it), has a hilarious story up about being confronted by a crazy woman with a sword, and how the police there responded to it. Seriously funny, and insightful.
Jim Downey
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Like Science Fiction? Read my novel, Communion of Dreams, for free.
You call that a knife?
There is much more that can be done by a pencil than any two-inch blade!
What kind of punk hassles a child over what is no more than a letter opener, a finger nail cleaner, not widely known as an effective murder weapon?
But a pencil, well applied . . .
G'day!
Heh - love the "Dundee" reference.
Jim Downey
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Like Science Fiction? Read my novel, Communion of Dreams, for free.
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