Observations and inanities by a second-shift assistant supervisor in the Puppy-Grinding division of the Evil Atheist Conspiracy® (our motto: "Sure it's cruel, but think of the jobs!"), your host, Brent Rasmussen.
It's All Greek to Me
Can someone please explain to me why Christians quote the bible as if it is an argument ending trump card?
This past Sunday I was out taking my dog for a walk in my complex. I know most of the friendly people with dogs because I've lived here for a year. My dog loves to socialize so she heads directly for anyone else with a dog. Of course, I could stop her, but I enjoy meeting new people as well. To make a long story short, Samantha and I ran into a new guy about my age(37) who was walking his dog.
I made sure it was okay for us to approach and he gave permission. His dog was very friendly and happy to meet us. The guy seemed nice at first also. After a bit of small talk he explained to me that he had just gotten out of church and was feeling "full of the Lord" as he put it. I said, "oh that's nice" and tried changing subjects by asking if he was excited about the Giants game that afternoon. The guy completely ignored my question and asked me what church I went to.
At this point, I was starting to get annoyed. First, I really didn't care that he was full of the Lord and now he was getting a little nosey by asking me, a complete stranger, what church I attended. Maybe I should have just said I am not religious and tried changing the subject again, but I was feeling a little belligerent at this point. I answered him by saying flat out that "I don't believe in god." "I am an atheist" I said.
He looked like he had seen a ghost. After a moment he recovered and started asking me a volley of questions without taking a breath. "Have you ever been to church?" "Did I know that Jesus loves me?" "Did I know that Jesus died for my sins?" And so forth and so on. At this point I was struggling a little to maintain my composure and remain polite. My answer was short and sweet. I said "Sir, didn't you hear me? I am an atheist and I don't believe in god. I don't want to talk about my religious upbringing with you and I don't want someone preaching to me. Have a nice day." With that, I walked over to my dog and put her back on the leash so I could get away from him.
He started quoting the bible. I wish I could remember the verse. It was something about only fools deny god. Obviously it bugged me because here I am, four days later still thinking about the incident. I've seen trolls come here to UTI and quote bible passages, too. As if that settles the question at hand. Don't they realize I don't speak that language. You might as well be speaking Greek for all I care. I don't read the bible. I don't consider it an authority. It means nothing to me. Don't fucking quote the bible to me. Okay?
Why can't Christians try meeting us on common ground? Don't pity me. Don't tell me the bible says I'm a fool. What if I answered him with a quote from Darwin's book the Origin of Species. Or Sagan? Or Dawkins? I guarantee he would be offended or at least as unresponsive to me if the situation was reversed and I was trying to make him see the error of his ways by quoting a book that he's never read.
Sorry for the rant. It's just that I see this everywhere. Here at UTI and in debates and now I've even seen it walking my dog. Why can't Christians speak English? Please Christians, be able to explain to me in your own words the reasons why you believe your god exists, and why your god judges me as a sinner, and why hell is a fitting punishment for my so-called heresy without quoting the bible. To merely quote from the bible as proof of what I should believe sounds exactly like quoting ancient Greek to me.
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they do it to each other
Christians don't just argue with atheists. They also argue with each other and they are used to using the Bible this way with each other. They may differ with each other on various theological positions, but they all accept the authority of the Bible. They never question this sort of argument, even if they might arrive at contrary conclusions. Because of this habit/conditioning, they seem to think everyone accepts the authority of the Bible and are obviously unprepared to argue strongly without doing that.
It's All Greek to Me
just respond with something like:
"ABOOGA-BOOGA-GOOGA"
"ABOOGA-BOOGA-GOOGA"
Get close to them. Say it loudly. Smile and stick out your tongue when you say it. Tilt your head sideways. Cross your eyes too. Then just say it over and over. They'll think you're the devil and run away.
Theyre not used to it
Can someone please explain to me why Christians quote the bible as if it is an argument ending trump card?
It's probably because most Christians have never encountered an atheist before and dont know how to discuss this topic with them. I think most Christians are used to arguing with other Christians about theology and use this Bible-quoting technique in discussing atheology. Expect that to change once they start encountering more of you. But I suppose it'll be a long, slow process.
they quote the bible because it's their authority symbol
They quote the bible because it's their authority symbol. They've run out of ideas of their own, and they can't run to Momma to settle the argument, so the bible is the next best tool.
You don't have a corresponding response because your words and decisions come from yourself and you're not willing to give up that autonomy (even in exchange for a security blanket).
When they escalate to quoting scripture, it means "nobody is home anymore".
Several years ago I casually
Several years ago I casually mentioned to a longtime friend whose computers I had worked on for years that I was an atheist. She and her husband (a one-time preacher) haven't spoken to me since. We considered them to be friends. The really funny part though is that they are members of the local Unitarian group.
Just another Jesus Junkie feelin' his Buzz!
It's just so sad when they're all "in the spirit" and somebody who lives in the real world won't play along. Harshes their Jesus-buzz, the poor little addicts.
I think it's hilarious that he whipped out the old Psalm 14 on you. How Christian of him.
Short bus kittehs sez "No Ceiling Cat!" Theyz bad.
Psalms 14:1
lolcat bible
I remember being annoyed by Psalm 14 by the time I was 12 years old or so. It's just obvious name-calling and mudslinging against anyone who doesn't tow the church line. Most churchies seem to regard the Psalms as beautiful prayers, praises for good times, laments for bad times, etc, but when you read them, it's surprising how many are all about talking shit and wishing ill on your "enemies." No wonder most bible devotees have such a big streak of intolerant asshole in them.
How could you?! The book of
How could you?!
The book of rambles chapter 6, verse 12 clearly states...
"And he whoever walketh his dog on the sabbath day shall suffer an eternity in hell drinking water from the Devil's Toilet."
Similar experience
When we moved to SE Texas, we bought in a house in a modest but very well kept-up neighborhood. Many of the houses were lived in by their original owners and they had a real neighborhood association that actually did things together occasionally, picnics and such. It was racially mixed and people got along with each other very well.
They were all nice people, but when we first moved there we got asked constantly, "Have you found a church home yet?" It was the assumption implicit in the "yet" that really got to me. We would mumble something noncommital and change the subject. After a while they got the hint. I must say that no one ever got obnoxious once it was clear we didn't want to talk about it, but it was still offputting.
We moved away years ago, but "Have you found a church home yet" is still a catch-phrase for us (and for some friends of ours that have moved here from the Bible belt).
Church Home
Heh. If you were to write them all letters and explain things, they'd have something to gossip about for years.
The obnoxious part is that you were trying to be polite
You could have said; "Yeah, you're full of something all right" or "Oh, go burn a witch!" but instead you deftly tried to change the subject.
Sheesh. Politeness is lost on some people.
Attack!
The critical part of this interaction, and one that no devout Christian could recognize, is that the man assaulted you verbally, calling you a fool and worse, simply for not believing the same things he believes. He attacked, even as you were retreating.
Lots of us in the west see Islam as intolerant and dangerous, and it is, but we let off Christianity on the basis that, at its worst, it's harmless. Sure they don't burn witches, etc. anymore. But the impulse to wage war on unbelievers, however mild it might seem, is still there.
Those inclined to give Christianity the benefit of the doubt haven't had these experiences before, or else really do think they're in the wrong for not being believers.
I was at a county fair last summer and was accosted by a guy from a Christian booth: "Have you heard the good news?" "I'm an atheist. To me, what you've got is bad news." "There's no such thing as an atheist!"
Which is a way of saying "To me, you don't exist as a person." And after they decide THAT, the gate's open to anything they think they can get away with. Condescension, lies, namecalling, humiliation ... and more.
Dirk, Dirk, Dirk
When someone tells you that they are "full of the Lord," you should immediately leap to the conclusion that they are also full of shit. Any further discussion is pointless.
full of what?
The passage he quoted to you sounds like Psalms 14:1, “The fool hath said in his heart, There is no God. They are corrupt, they have done abominable works, there is none that doeth good.”
If you aren't yet tired of pointing out Christian hypocrisy and Biblical contradictions, you can quote Matthew 5:22, "...whosoever shall say, Thou fool, shall be in danger of hell fire" back to him.
At least ancient Greek is intelligible, whereas much of the Bible is either useless genealogy and pointless gibberish.
My favorite post in this thread
I know this is an older post, but I think this is a priceless comeback! I would LOVE to see what kind of reaction this could have had.
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