ESPN Does The Right Thing

Brent Rasmussen's picture

Comedians get to be as filthy, racist, and offensive as they want during celebrity roasts. I think it's almost expected of them these days. Of course, most stand-ups are independent contractors, basically working for themselves, being their own boss. I think this is where ESPN morning anchor Dana Jacobson miss-stepped when she started swigging vodka from the bottle, and lashed into a classic bit of foul-mouthed, blasphemous, no-holds-barred celebrity roast rant. Heheh... good for her. She sounds like she likes to party, that girl. Gotta respect that.

However, She was under contract to ESPN. She was their employee, in other words. She does not work for herself. The roast was for two other ESPN employees. So, the roast, while un-official, had ESPN associated with it in no small part.

There's a reason why I have never, ever spoken about my employer, or even mentioned their name on UTI. It's just not a good idea. This is my personal blog, and I do not want it associated with who I work for 9-to-5 in any way, shape, or form.

So, she embarrassed herself, and it reflected back on her employer. They began to take some heat from our old buddy Billy Donohue from The Catholic League who called for Jacobsen to be fired for dissin' Jebus.

Yeah, drinking vodka straight from the bottle and saying "fuck Jesus" (if that is really what she said - there is apparently some controversy on this point) at a public event like the Mike & Mike Roast is probably not the best idea. She was contrite, apologized afterwards, and ESPN didn't fire her.

That is why my respect for ESPN has gone up. They recognized that their employee made a stupid mistake, disciplined her for it, and moved on. They did NOT cave in to the nuts who demand that she be fired for "blasphemy". Kudos, ESPN.

Dana, in the meanwhile, if you need a place to party, we can always tie on a good one over here at the Inscrutable Ranch. I've got a bottle of Belvedere in the freezer, a 12-pack of Red Bulls, a couple of cases of mexican beer and a mess of key limes. The steaks are on the grill. We'll be playing poker, so bring your change, and if you get too drunk, you can crash on the couch. And we could give a shit if you say "fuck Jesus!" The Superbowl is on this weekend, and we've got a 62" HD big screen and plenty of chairs. In fact, the Superbowl is happening about 5 miles from my house, so if we get bored we can head on over to the Superbowl Experience and throw beer cans at your buddies in the ESPN booth.

Give us a ring!

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Ron Hager's picture

Fucking Jesus

I do not see anything wrong with the term "Fuck jesus". But it is a good thing he can't return from the dead because the way that the insane religious idiots talk about their love for him I am convinced that the poor guy would be unable to move with all the women, and men, that would pounce on his poor ass.

No More Mr. Nice Guy's picture

Fuck Jesus

Just felt like saying that. I too am just a few miles from where the Stuporbowl is happening but I couldn't give a rat's ass about it. Now that's blasphemy! Yeah, I know, I'm unamerican. Which is a strange concept - I can't think of any other country X where the adjective "un-X" exists. Anyway I'm going to take the dogs and go hiking, and hopefully have the trail to myself while the couch potatoes are vegetating in front of the boob tube.

- No More Mr. Nice Guy!

richg's picture

Why the hard on?

Why the hard on for Jesus? And no, I don't consider you un-american. Don't know for sure, but I think there is an equivalent term in almost every country and ethnic group. As a matter of fact, I would be surprised if they didn't.

"I believe in preaching to the converted; for I have generally found that the converted do not understand their own religion." -G.K. Chesterton

No More Mr. Nice Guy's picture

Un-American

And no, I don't consider you un-american.

Well, you're wrong. I am un-American - I'm from Ireland. And I assure you I never heard anyone calling anyone else un-Irish, un-British or un-any other country except the US. (Are Canadians considered un-American?)

In response to your other comment, it's true that Christians piss me off more than other religions, but most likely because I live in a country dominated by "imperialist" Christians who want to infect you with their brain virus. I've lived in other countries with large Christian populations - Ireland obviously, also Britain and various mainland European countries - but most Christians in other countries mind their own business and are not constantly trying to shove their beliefs down your throat and control your life according to the dictates of their sacred scrolls. I lived in Saudi Arabia, I'm sure I'd have the same reaction against Muslims. As far as the "gender" of religions go, it's always seemed to me that Catholicism is more feminine somehow than Protestantism, with its worship of Mary vs. the Prods' emphasis on Jesus and their more aggressive proselytization.

- No More Mr. Nice Guy!

richg's picture

Follow-up

I don't know where the best thread for my follow-up questions should go, so they might as well go here.

It does seem to me that most of the people here have some problem with christians and christianity beyond that toward other religions and superstitions. And I am willing to hear if or even why this may be true.

Is it because most christians seem to check their brains at the door? Have the men left their peckers in the parking lot? Lost their balls so long ago they don't know where to find them again? Are christians too touchy-feely, to feminized for real men?

I'd really like to hear. And it's ok to be blunt.

At one time, centuries ago, christianity was the voice of masculine logic and reason - at least according the the church fathers for about the first thousand yars.

"I believe in preaching to the converted; for I have generally found that the converted do not understand their own religion." -G.K. Chesterton

Hank Fox's picture

Problems With Xtians

What Thameron says below.

The apparent problem with Christians and Christianity is an observational artifact ... on both sides. It looks to you like Christians take more heat because you're a Christian and you're here, but the a-religious here in the U.S. DO criticize Christians more, and for the same reason — proximity.

Whatever religion the people of Borneo have is every bit as silly, but there's no need to say anything about it most of the time because Borneans aren't on the local radio and TV 24/7, or trying to pack school boards with Bornean Creationists.

As to the masculinity issue ... it doesn't form any image at all in my head. I've never thought of Christianity as being especially masculine, nor have I heard anyone represent it that way.

...

One thing you may not have heard said, though, something you MIGHT be able to hear and understand, is ... well, I’ll start in a roundabout way:

The right wingers in the U.S. typically see anyone who objects to whatever it is they’re doing today as anti-American. The people Rush Limbaugh calls “librools” obviously hate America and everything it stands for, and want to destroy it. Why else would the librools be so angry all the time, and protest against everything our wise, benevolent leader wants to do?

But I know a lot of people whom Rush would brand librools, including myself, and I don’t know anyone even remotely like the stereotype. The people I know are instead caring, concerned, involved, generous, compassionate AND patriotic.

They protest what the White House has done, they get angry, BECAUSE they’re caring, concerned, involved, generous, compassionate and patriotic.

If we’re talking American ideals, the man who protests the official sanctioning of torture is a thousand times the better American than former Attorney General Alberto Gonzalez. And it’s worse for people like me because Gonzalez, the greasy traitor to American ideals, was actually IN the government. My country’s government, MY government.

Hear the anger in what I’m writing? Yeah, I’m obviously royally pissed off. Is it because I’m a bad person? I’m hateful? I’m evil, and want to hurt somebody? I’m a little malcontent who needs to attack somebody to salve the hurt of his own personal failings and finds it safe to yap at distant government officials?

No, it’s because I CARE. And because I can see people like Gonzalez bring misery and death to people, other human beings like me, for no good reason. As a result of those people’s actions, sometime this week or this month or this year, somebody’s little girl died in Iraq. Seven years old, eight years old, a cute little kid with big eyes and a winning smile, a kid who loved and was loved, and today she’s buried in the sand somewhere, after being shot to death or bombed to death. By people who claim they’re doing it on my behalf.

And yet to Rush and company, the one who hates America is me. The people who gather in the streets to protest the war hate America. The Dixie Chicks are traitors because one of them used her Freedom of Speech, won on the blood of patriots, to toss off one short sentence expressing her own personal shame at President Bush.

I think Rush is describing a situation that’s about 180 degrees opposite of the truth, but I can’t do anything about it but squawk. It’s like living next door to the bully who beats his wife and children to death one night, hearing the whole thing and being afraid or unable to act.

Would that tend to make a person a little bit ... excitable? Well, yeah, it would.

Regarding religion: Atheists hate God, they’re wrong, they’re bad, they can’t love anybody, they can’t have morals, they force children to learn discredited “theories,” they’re the same as Hitler and Stalin, they kill people, they want to bring this country to its knees, they want to stop people from worshipping as they please, they’re closed-minded, they’re too angry, they want to end free speech, they don’t understand what the Founding Fathers intended, they believe in an irrational “faith,” they want to murder babies ... damn, what else?

I don’t know a single atheist, I’m not sure I’ve even MET one, who hated humanity, or wanted anything bad to happen to anybody.

What if you only wanted people to be fair? To care about justice and equal rights? To consider that their actions and beliefs have an effect on others, and to never give up trying to get things right?

Sure, you’re a Christian, and you see yourself as a good person, and therefore anybody who “disagrees” with you must be comparatively wrong. Oh, yeah, we have our little lubricating fiction “Well, we all have a right to our own beliefs, our own opinions.”

But ...

I know a guy who, if you could only know him, REALLY know him, he’d bring you to your knees with admiration. He wants things to be right, to be good, and he feels compelled to care about it every minute of his life. He never stops caring about Good – I don’t think he’s capable of it. If he were a dog and they made a movie about him, he’d be Lassie and Balto and Hachiko and Greyfriar’s Bobbie rolled into one, and the audience would leave the theater in tears every night at the love and compassion that shines out of him.

He’s an atheist, and a strong one.

He’s an atheist not because he’s a bad person, but because he’s a GOOD one. Because he cares about right and good and fair and just. Good things, true things, real things. Real knowledge. Real understanding. Getting the right answer. Never giving up trying to make things better.

He’d never say about himself, “Well, we all have a right to our own beliefs.” Because (I’m guessing without his ever having realized it consciously), he’d probably consider that something only a hopeless slacker would say. He could never let himself off so lightly.

He’d say: True things are true things because they’re true, not because of who says them, or how many say them, or because they’re written down in some holy book. He’d say: If I have something in my head that’s wrong, I want to know about it, and I want to fix it, to replace it with the right thing.

Because he cares about good, and right, and true, and because he can only feel good about himself if he continues to work toward bettering himself in those ways, he CAN’T have a closed mind. Because he can’t give up wanting good, he feels a constant concern, a never-ending second-guessing examination of himself that he might have tried harder, that he hasn’t done all he could.

Because he cares, and can’t stop caring, he can’t let himself believe in mystical things ... because they’re too easy, too simplistic, too seductive, too WRONG.

Elsewhere I’ve written about several different types of atheists, but of the ones I consider the most enlightened, the ones like my friend who arrived at atheism because he thought about it for years and came to the best conclusion he could, ALL of them have been more or less like this. They’re strong people, independent thinkers, and they care.

Well, yes, they’re loud. Often angry. Increasingly vocal. Considering how things are in the U.S. today — damn, who wouldn’t be?

Thameron's picture

The Problem

The problem with Christianity is not unique to it, but here in the US it is the dominant religion and the one with which all we yanks are the most familiar. I think the followers of Islam, Judaisim, and Hinduism are all equally insane, but some of them are violently insane and would kill me for expressing that opinion (or even saying I am an atheist for that matter).
I think each person is entitled to hold whatever peculiar unprovable views they wish as long as they do no harm and do not attempt to foist them on those who do not willingly choose them and it is here that the most friction occurs. Christians want to shoe-horn their religion into government and into schools. Note the "in God we trust" on the money and "under God" inserted into the pledge of alleigance. Not to mention recent efforts to fund religions with govermental money, i.e. my money.

To paraphrase Thomas Jefferson if your fantasy neither picks my pocket nor breaks my leg then it is not my concern. All too often however peoples fantasies result in a lot of picked pockets and broken legs. Just turn on the news and you will see it.

As to the masculinity question I'd have to agree with the words of Beowulf in the recent movie of that name. Christianity killed all the heroes and turned everyone into martyrs. Gone are the days when being like the gods meant doing your Physical or mental best, now it means suffering the most. Sheesh.

Thameron's picture

Despite the talk of Christianity

America's real religions are Consumerism, Professional Sports and Celebrity worship and if you buy sports memoribilia in honor of a professional athlete then you get the divine tri-fecta.

Yesterday the spaceship did not come and take me back to the planet where I belong (for I surely do not belong on this one). Perhaps it will come today.

Jim Downey's picture

If it does.

Yesterday the spaceship did not come and take me back to the planet where I belong (for I surely do not belong on this one). Perhaps it will come today.

If it does, and you don't mind terribly, swing by and pick me up on the way out, would you?

Jim Downey

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Like Science Fiction? Read my novel, Communion of Dreams, for free.

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