Observations and inanities by a second-shift assistant supervisor in the Puppy-Grinding division of the Evil Atheist Conspiracy® (our motto: "Sure it's cruel, but think of the jobs!"), your host, Brent Rasmussen.
Andy Rooney Ruthlessly Persecutes Christian Evangelist
I understand it was horrible. Andy Rooney's fangs speared from his demonic slash of a mouth, ripping the Christian flesh off of poor, poor evangelist Tony Didlo's throat, spilling his blood in the street like a fountain. Then Andy Rooney howled like a wolf and started rooting around in Didlo's guts while he cried for mercy from the curmudgeonly old atheist. Random atheists on the street - you know, because there's so many of us - cheered as Rooney smeared blood all over his face and swung a loop of intestine around and around, smacking the whimpering, dying Christian witness repeatedly in the face.
Then he went to the Super Bowl and enjoyed the game, leaving the evangelist dead in the streets of Phoenix, like us atheists always do when we come across defenseless Christians.
[Baptist Press] PHOENIX (BP)--As thousands of people thronged Phoenix for the Super Bowl, a small contingent of Christians spread out across the metropolitan area to share their faith in Christ.
One of them had a chance to talk with Andy Rooney, the commentator whose curmudgeonly complaints wrap up the weekly "60 Minutes" program on CBS.
"I was standing on a corner and turned around and there was this little old man walking across the street," said Tony Didlo, a member of Grace Church, a Southern Baptist congregation in Des Moines, Iowa. "I knew right away it was Andy Rooney."
Didlo held out a Gospel tract and asked Rooney if he had received one yet.
"Yeah, I've got one of those," Rooney replied, according to Didlo's account of the Jan. 31 encounter.
"Sir, do you believe in God?" Didlo asked.
"No, I'm an atheist," Rooney said. "I think it's sad you people believe in that stuff."
Didlo tried to pursue the conversation, asking if the existence of creation didn't imply a creator, but Rooney's cameraman stepped in between them and said, "We've got to go."
"He wouldn't let me go any further with it," Didlo said. "I was surprised he thinks people are totally off their rockers for believing in God."
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*Didlo?*
Yeah, what somebody above said. With a name like Didlo, the poor guy musta been teased mercilessly as a teenager.
If I were him, though, I'd have gone into a line of work appropriate for his name.
The right line of work
Seems to me his name aligns perfectly with his proselytizing.
Poor Dildo...er...Didlo.
I'm surprised the guy still likes God, considering that God cursed him with a name that screams "mock me".
Andy Rooney rules. The man's, what, eighty or ninety years old? I want to be that cursory and blunt when I'm ninety.
Poor pitiful Didlo, missing
Poor pitiful Didlo, missing out on the change to score on a big name convert. And it seems so obvious that Rooney has had to little change in the US to actually try to meet Jesus.
I'm not anti-Christian, you're just annoying.
I try to go through life being friendly, polite and generally positive. I'm a live-and-let-live sort of person. I don't bother other people to become atheists. If you like your religion that's fine with me. I think it's silly, but I don't care either way. Why can't religious people return the favor?
If you think I'm wrong, good for you. Does Mr. Dildo really need to tell me the "good news"? I've had that happen to me before. Someone comes up and asks "have you heard the good news"? Okay numbnuts, I'm 37 years old and live in America, don't you think at some point I've heard "the good news" before?
Mr. Rooney was born in 1919. I'm pretty sure he's had enough time to make up his mind at this point. Are they going to try pulling an Anthony Flew on him?
Maybe one of our resident christian posters might want to explain why the Mr. Dildo's of the world do that. Why can't Andy Rooney and I just be left alone? The answer I've heard is that the bible tells them to spread the word. In other words the bible says for christians to be annoying busybodies and stick their noses into other peoples business every chance they get. Then the christian wonders why are people anti-christian. We're not anti-christian, you're just annoying.
The reason
The Bible does tell Christians to spread the word. The Bible (Jesus, specifically) also told the apostles not to be annoying about it. He said if youre not welcome to a house or town, then back off. An atheist's response of "Im an atheist (or Muslim, or Buddhist). Im not interested." should be enough for a Christian to say "Sorry to bother you. Good day." But I'd like to think that the reason some of them persist is because -- now dont gag, Dirk -- they care about you.
Partly true...
There is no one reason for that, but for the general case, you are right.
Jehovah's Witnesses need to do it to earn salvation.
Mormons do it not to gain converts but to 'toughen up' their novices
Some Christians do it because they think they are doing God's will
Some actually think that if they find opposition that they are 'in God's will'
Some have simply learned things that way
Some suffer from some more serious psychological trauma
It is my opinion that a Christian who truly cares will be more considerate. What I have done for the last 5 years is simply go door-to-door in the housing projects behind the church - I simply ask if there is something I can help with. I do not push my church, nor try to pry anyone away from their chosen lifestyle choices; I only give a them hand, a shoulder, a strong back, an ear, and only if they want. I offer to pray with or for them, but do not force it. I simply want to be there if and when they want something, whether sweeping out an entryway or listening to the divorced mom with MS and 3 kids under 6. Some get annoyed when I knock on their door, but all they have to say is "Thanks for checking, but I'm OK." and I move on.
"I believe in preaching to the converted; for I have generally found that the converted do not understand their own religion." -G.K. Chesterton
Bravo!
You sound like some of my Mennonite friends. They put their back into practical compassion and let that be the selling point. Most of them aren't around right now - they're still down in Louisiana working the hurricane damage long abandoned after it wasn't news anymore.
Charity
In the past, I’ve cooked for a friend’s family when the man’s wife hurt her back, taken people into my home for as much as three months, given people rides, cooked for seniors, helped neighbors by shoveling the snow off their walks and driveways. I give friends and neighbors brownies and home-baked bread on occasion, just because I like to give people things, and brownies are pretty much always welcome. I’ve also volunteered to dogsit (and even horsesit) for people many times in the past, once for an almost-stranger who really needed it, and I used to take other people’s dogs out for hikes fairly often. I also like to give kids little origami thingies (I give them to their parents, actually) I fold up out of dollar bills when I’m out in a restaurant or whatever. Not long back I wrote an entire book for the daughter of some old friends. I’m currently working on ideas for a volunteer writing project for the local animal rescue place. And every day I give compliments to total strangers, just to brighten their day.
I don’t do a bit of this at the command of supernatural whosits, or to buy brownie points for a ticket into Heaven. I also don’t preach to people, give them pamphlets, or offer to “pray” with them.
I do it because compassion is an innate human attribute, and because I know that we’re all in this together. Not only does it feel good to help people (and animals, and sometimes even plants), I know that help from other people is the only help there is. I do it to make the REAL world a tiny bit better.
You don’t have to be a Christian to care. It appears to me, in fact, that helping people for religious reasons often gets in the way of helping people. There’s ample evidence that certain institutionalized Christian “help” is largely parasitic (I’m thinking Mother Teresa here, but every televangelist alive probably also qualifies).
I do have to admit to slightly selfish reasons behind the fund I reserve for the occasional needy lap dancer, too poor to afford proper clothes.
Not really that far apart, after all
Well, we are not really that far apart after all.
The God I believe in expects the same motives - he is not so shallow as to be fooled by someone who is sucking up or brownnosing. He is more concerned with why I did something than what I did.
Reminds me of a slightly 'revised' Bible verse I paraphrased:
You who make your boast in knowing the Bible, do you dishonor God through breaking what it says? For it has been written, “because of you, the unbelievers make fun of God and His followers”....
And if that unsaved person fulfills the Word that he knows, won't he rightly judge you, who even with your big Bible and your baptism, are one who doesn't follow the Word that you do know?
This is what I try to teach my fellow Christians.
"I believe in preaching to the converted; for I have generally found that the converted do not understand their own religion." -G.K. Chesterton
...
We're practically twins.
Except for all that God stuff in your head.
...
That... And the cowboy hat.
"I believe in preaching to the converted; for I have generally found that the converted do not understand their own religion." -G.K. Chesterton
They lurve you!
Jeg, this may not really make sense to you, but that "care" feels a hell of a lot like stalking sometimes. It is endemic in our culture - constantly being told that "JEBUS <3 U!!!" - and depending on where you are, not only are they persistent, but they are downright hostile if you simply try and say "thanks, but no." It is, very much, like the unwanted attention/affection of a stalker, complete with invasion of privacy, undertones of violence (upon occasion), and inability to tell them to leave you alone and have them hear it.
Jim Downey
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Like Science Fiction? Read my novel, Communion of Dreams, for free.
I can only imagine
Youre right, Jim. I can only imagine what it must be like since we dont have that sort here. Over here, usually a wave of the hand would be enough for most of them to back off.
Stalking
I may have related this to some of you before, so forgive me for repeating, but ...
I had a roomie my first year in college in Texas, a little guy who started, the first day we were on campus, talking about Jesus. He was so avid that I listen to what he was saying and accepting it that he used to follow me around the room. If I turned away from him, he'd scuttle around to try to get back in front of me. "But don't you think the Bible is the inspired word of God? And that if it tells us that Jesus is our savior, don't you think we have to listen to that and live our lives by it?" The sheer intensity of the guy was freaky.
I was begging the dorm counselor for a new room by the third day, and in a few weeks, he let me transfer out.
Looking back on it, if I'd just popped him one and told him to shut up and stop following me around (assuming I was the type of person who was capable of that, which I wasn't), inevitably it would have been ME who was in the wrong.
Have you heard the good news?
Yes, Jesus Christ died on the cross for my sins. All I have to do is confess my sins, claim his name as my personal savior and I can have eternal life. If this is the good news you refer to, then yes, I have heard it. But it's all fucking horse shit to me. Good day.
Died for our sins?
If you believe the nonsense about "he rose from the grave", you don't actually believe he died for our sins at all; you believe he just had a really bad weekend, most of it unconscious. I've known plenty of young men who were unconscious for entire weekends.
I just voted...
Perzactly. My wife and each just took turns from our bedside watch to go vote. At one of the local churches, of course.
Jim Downey
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Like Science Fiction? Read my novel, Communion of Dreams, for free.
Tell me about it.
Tell me about it. I live in upstate, NY. You'd think we were a little more progressive than you folks down in Missouri, but it sure doesn't look that way on election day. This morning the pro-life Nazi's were out in full force. Yelling, screaming, marching. One guy had a bull-horn. There must have been about 40 of 'em wearing sandwich board signs about baby killers and whatnot. The police were there to make sure they stayed a certain number of feet away from people waiting in line to vote.
They made the Ron Paul supporters look sane.
"They made the Ron Paul supporters look sane"
I've been carefully peeling Ron Paul bumper stickers off the painted walls, projector screens, and multimedia consoles in our college for a week now. Is there some part of their brain in which they really think that will help their cause?
Ditto guys with bullhorns. Reminds me of the stereotypical American on vacation in Europe: if you talk slower and louder, they'll understand you.
Also they are certainly violating the spirit of voting-area campaign laws.
Voting in a church doesn't really bother me - I'd vote the same if the booth were in the local pro-life center - but there may be a few who change their minds at the last moment, especially if they're still spooked by the shamans. Better to do it in a school, the way it was done when (and where) I was a kid.
Church Voting
I'm the same way. I'm immune to the obnoxious protesters and my positions wouldn't be compromised or influenced in any way by location, but there are some gullible people out there who are susceptible to those influences. Take a look at the article No More Mr. Nice Guy linked to.
The article talks about a study done in Brent's state:
Holy shit! Is Arizona part of the bible belt?
Before today, I didn't even know it was legal for voting to take place in churches. I suppose each little town gets to decide what the best way to fuck with minorities is for themselves.
Arizona
Holy shit! Is Arizona part of the bible belt?
Yup.
I call it the Mississippi of the Desert.
"Arizona: just add water and you've got Mississippi."
- No More Mr. Nice Guy!
Upstate?
Where in Upstate? I'm in Schenectady. :)
Yeah, I got into a discussion with someone not long back about voting sites in churches. My assertion is that it's improper because it probably has an effect, even if subliminal, on Christian voters. He couldn't see it; I don't think I ever did get the point across to him.
(un)holy moly!
This is too funny. I've been reading your posts, Hank, and agreeing with every word....now I read you're in Schenectady! Just moved away from there after 34 years. Keep posting the good stuff, you're great!
Thanks!
Always great to hear somebody's listening. :-)
But ... you moved away from SCHENECTADY?? This paradise? What's WRONG with you?
out of the frying pan
Yeah, I traded one garden spot for another....Poughkeepsie!
Voting in churches
There was a study which showed that using a church as a polling place did have a small but measurable effect.
Link
- No More Mr. Nice Guy!
What effect?
What kind of subliminal effect? Would it be like using a school when voting in a board election, or going to City Hall to vote on a tax base? I don't see it, unless you get a bit more specific.
"I believe in preaching to the converted; for I have generally found that the converted do not understand their own religion." -G.K. Chesterton
Sigh.
You know what, Rich? I'm not even interested in talking to you about it. If you don't get it instantly, I'm not sure there's any use in trying to explain.
WTF?
You wrote:
I say again - What effect? You want me to back up my assertions, and you run away from backing up your own? C'mon, you're better than that.
If voting in a church has a subliminal effect, so would voting in a Masonic Lodge, Elks Club, Grange Hall, City Hall, Timeout Tavern - hell, even voting out in public, in a town square would have one. Each would have a different effect, I'm sure. But I need to be convinced that only the church's effect is deleterious to the democratic process.
Especially since it was the influence of the churches that is partly responsible for creating the freedom for us to even have this conversation.
"I believe in preaching to the converted; for I have generally found that the converted do not understand their own religion." -G.K. Chesterton
I have a response on this
I have a response on this subject, although there is not yet any scientific study that can be cited as far as I know. In other words, I have only opinion and speculation.
The vast majority of Americans have had at least a cursory introduction to the christian religion. I think it is a safe assumption that at least a majority have been to a christian church at least a few times.
In my own experience, just going to church services a few times a year in my adolescence was enough to affect my confidence in my own judgement, and promote a certain reliance on groupthink that was closely tied to religious beliefs. I grew past this dependency, and I have observed many others do the same, at all ages and in various life situations. I think that the powerful emotional connections that many people are trained to associate with churches could influence voting patterns, particularly on issues where religious officials have expressed strong opinions, or with candidates who campaign on religious platforms. It's nothing more than a classic psychological homefield advantage, but because it has real connotations in the mind, it can have real consequences on the ballot.
I would expect to see a similar, if weaker effect in other locations. You brought up Elks Club, etc. My experience is with the Moose Club, a similar organization. I can't prove it, but I would bet solid money that if you took the Moose Club population and compared their voting records at the Moose Hall versus their voting records at neutral locations, that you would find at least a few changes, tending towards more consevative at the Moose Hall. I would even bet that you could find a slight liberal bias if all voting took place at schools. Not because of a liberal bias at the schools, but because spending money on schools is currently considered "liberal."
In short, I don't think that the next election would be thrown outright if everyone had to vote in a church. But to deny the possibility of influence is downright dishonest. No other organizations claim so much territory over your emotions. Would it be so bad to vote only in schools or government buildings that might promote ideals of thought, reason, and rational concern instead?
Personal anecdote-I voted for Al Gore in a church. I live on California's central coast, and although I am poor, it's not a poor area. We have the basic government buildings and community centers, etc. Yet here I am going to the fuckin' baptist church to vote. It's great of them to offer the space, but they shouldn't have to, and they shouldn't want to. I won't call conspiracy, but it was also very inconvenient for the disabled. People in wheelchairs had to roll all the way to the back of the building, and the lip was still too high. People in low-quality wheelchairs or on walkers still had to be helped over the lip of the doorway. Not to mention a noticeable amount of pro-christian, generally pro-republican political signs that started about 150 feet from the door of the polling place, as per law. Nice.
Voting
I hope you could tell that I wasn't denying the presence of a subtle influence. I just want to know in which direction.
Please don't think the "church" atmosphere would have any kind of consistent effect. Our local Methodist church leans very heavily Democrat-Progressive, while the Baptist leans Republican-Conservative. And there is a whole spectrum in between. Likewise, our County Library displays a Progressive slant (in the choices of books on display) while our People's Utility District leans toward a blue-collar conservatism. Every polling place I have been to has a leaning in one direction or another, but I think on the macro- level it probably all balances out.
"I believe in preaching to the converted; for I have generally found that the converted do not understand their own religion." -G.K. Chesterton
The only solution is to vote in porn shops
As long as the voting environment doesn't have an effect, why not?
I second,
third, and...fourth that proposal. Let the voting begin!
My point ...
I say again: I'm not interested in talking to you about it.
It's a win-win. I get to walk away feeling like I'm saving valuable time, and you get to walk away feeling you're absolutely right.
Nah....
(dull thud)
"I believe in preaching to the converted; for I have generally found that the converted do not understand their own religion." -G.K. Chesterton
Clifton Park
I live in Clifton Park. If you were traveling north on 87 you'd get off at exit 8 and head west for about a mile. Even though I've lived here for about a year, I've never made it over to Schenectady. I hear it's pretty nice though.
Are there voting sites in churches? I would have a problem with that. Although, I suppose one could make an argument that it's just a building unless religious services are being performed. Still, you'd think that the town hall, courthouse, library or even a school would be far more appropriate places for voting to take place.
Clifton Park
Ha! I'm going to be out there in about an hour, for shopping, gym and lunch. You live in a pretty cool town. And I like the fact that the townspeople opted not to incorporate, and to use county cops instead of create an expensive, offensive new small town cop force.
The mall there with its theater is the most interesting one I've ever been to. I've been to first run big-ticket movies there, and don't think I've ever waited in a line more than about 5 people long. And probably 20 times over the years, I've been to movies there when I was the only person in the house.
Hank
I just left this note on your blog in the "About Hank" page and I'm posting it here to make sure you don't miss it:
Yeah, I got tripped by Didlo's name too
It also reminded me of that scene in the movie; Airplane. But three cheers for Rooney, he handled it just fine.
Huh-huh... "Didlo" what a perfect name for a street evangelist.
Streetcorner Evangelism? Not me.
Just for the record, I do not support the kind of hit-and-run 'evangelism' as portrayed in this story. While the people may be well meaning, it is my opinion that such practices do more harm than good in the long run. It is far better to build a relationship based on positive caring and sharing of life's highs and lows than to simply stand out there and push a piece of paper in someone's face.
I have a vivid memory of one of these guys - he was like a piece of verbal flypaper - in downtown Reno. All he did was assault people with condemnation rather than attracting them with real caring. It took me a long time to disentangle myself from him - he was like the Tarbaby from the Uncle Remus stories.
I think Andy Rooney's guys handled it OK.
"I believe in preaching to the converted; for I have generally found that the converted do not understand their own religion." -G.K. Chesterton
It's a miracle!
The article contains 9 occurances of "Didlo" and 0 instances of "Dildo".
The reporter, Mark Kelly, could have carefully typed it out once and triple checked it then copied and pasted it as he wrote the article. The editor could have been on his toes and caught any mispellings. It could be that nobody over at the Baptist Press knows what a dildo is. But I choose to believe that it was a miracle.
Bless you Mr. Dildo! I am saved! Hallelujah! Jesus!
Well played, Mr. Kelly, well played.
--
"Ponies are atheists, you know, technically."
- Me
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