Observations and inanities by a second-shift assistant supervisor in the Puppy-Grinding division of the Evil Atheist Conspiracy® (our motto: "Sure it's cruel, but think of the jobs!"), your host, Brent Rasmussen.
Confession Time.
OK, it seems to me that one of the advantages that religion has is in dealing with guilt and absolution. Granted, most religions compound those problems for most people by adding in ridiculous rules and behaviours, but that is neither here nor there for my purposes.
Simply put, we all do things that make us feel a little guilty. And now I'm going to kick off an occasional feature called "Confession Time" which will allow us to 'fess up to a guilty pleasure and receive the absolution of our community. Each "Confession Time" will be devoted to one topic, and the rules are simple: confess to a guilty pleasure you have within that topic, and explain why it makes you feel guilty. And don't worry, I'm not serious about this.
The topic this time is "Movies".
I'll go first: my guilty pleasure is "True Lies". I love this movie, as cheesy as it is, and probably watch it half a dozen times a year. The thing is absurd, from the stupid general plot to Ahnold's poor acting to the idiotic horse-chase to the stereotyping of Arabs to poor gun-handling skills to inaccurate special effects to dumb jokes to animal cruelty to random violations of both the laws of physics and our civil rights. But it's great. And it's got Jamie Lee Curtis in it. And Tom Arnold gets kicked in the crotch. What else could you ask for?
OK, who's next? Step right up, get your guilty pleasure off your chest.
Jim Downey
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Hudson Hawk
I was among the minority of movie viewers who thought HUDSON HAWK actually didn't suck.
Also like a lot of cult favorites that got panned by critics and/or were never box-office successes, like
JOE VERSUS THE VOLCANO
(Tom Cruise, Meg Ryan)
ROSENCRANZ AND GUILDENSTERN ARE DEAD
(Gary Oldman)
to name a few.
Sort-of guilty
Two other movies that I absolutely love that many other people aren't nearly as into as I am are The Crow and Labyrinth. Brandon Lee in electrical tape and David Bowie in some really tight pants.
Mandy U
There's no reason . . .
. . . whatsoever to feel guilty about loving Labyrinth, Mandy!
Jim Downey
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Like Science Fiction? Read my novel, Communion of Dreams, for free.
None at all
I constantly refer to the scene where she finds the replica of her room in the garbage dump and then the garbage people burst in and start stacking things behind her so that her pile resembles their huge packs as just the most perfect, visceral example of materialism.
I on the other hand liked The Black Hole (saw it twice) which might qualify me for shame in certain circles.
Zombie Movies
My guilty movie pleasure would be Zombie movies. I've loved them ever since the original Dawn of the Dead (1978). I can't get enough. The re-make Dawn of the Dead (2004) was even better, though it's hard to compare movies from different eras. I actually didn't know Dawn of the Dead was a sequel at first. Night of the Living Dead (1968) is an all-time classic.
Some of my other favorites are 28 Days Later (2002) and 28 Weeks Later (2007). I've probably seen each 6-8 times.
Of course not all Zombie movies are as great as those, but some of the others worth mentioning are the Resident Evil movies, Lifeforce, Night of the Comet and Omega Man. I am looking forward to seeing the recent Will Smith movie I am Legend although I've heard it sucked. Maybe that person just wasn't a Zombie fanatic?
Zombie short for Dirk - from Teller!
... of "Penn & Teller" fame: here.
Jim Downey
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Like Science Fiction? Read my novel, Communion of Dreams, for free.
Not all originals are the best
If you go to http://www.cultofuhv.com, you can download (legally) a bunch of B movies, including "The Last Man on Earth" with Vincent Price (it's number 40 in the archives), which was the forerunner to both "The Omega Man" (loved it as a kid, but haven't seen it since) and Smith's "I Am Legend".
No, no need to thank me. I enjoy passing on information like this.
Rob Miles
--
There are only 10 types of people in the world;
those who understand binary and those who don't.
Thanks Rob
Thanks Rob. I'll give The Last Man on Earth a look-see pretty soon. And if anyone else wants to use that site, that link didn't work for me. Try this one instead: http://cultofuhf.wordpress.com/
I haven't yet seen . . .
. . . "I am Legend" (the recent movie), but the old Price movie was a better adaptation of novel by Richard Matheson than "Omega Man". Matheson is one of the great unheralded writers of SF. (I've got a soft spot in my head for Matheson, and one of my friends collects his stuff and knows him.)
Jim Downey
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Like Science Fiction? Read my novel, Communion of Dreams, for free.
I Got Chills, They're Multiplyin'
The movie adaptation of Grease with Olivia Newton-John (smokin' hot back then), and John Travolta. LOVE that movie. Watch it every time it comes on the satellite - and I also have the DVD.
But I hate myself for it. :)
Okay...
Can we hate you for it, too? :P
I have no guilt about
I have no guilt about anything I watch! Clueless, Legally Blonde, anything by Pixar, Enchanted, Shirley Temple movies.....bring them on! Life's too short. If it's fun and brings me pleasure, I'm there, to hell with guilt.
well...
It's not a 'movie', and I can't think of a single guilty pleasure movie that I have, but, well... the television series Star Trek Voyager. Probably the least liked of the Star Treks. I tend to hide the fact that I am in my room watching an episode or two. Honestly, I'd rather someone think I am watching porn alone than Voyager.
- Matt
Kevin Costner
My guilty pleasures are Water World and The Postman.
Something new every day
How have you managed to hide this from me for 5 years?
I had no idea.
You're not the man I thought you were :)
Mandy U
WaterWorld
I'm hearing Michael Jeter exclaim "Ichthyosapiens!"
Oooh, The Postman might just win the prize for "Most Disappointing Movie in All of History for Those Who Read the Book."
I swear Kevin Costner is twins. One twin is a pretty good actor, and appears in such movies as Silverado, Field of Dreams and The Bodyguard.
The other twin is a borderline autistic who went to the Lee Majors/Jan Michael Vincent School of Acting and who walks onto the set and reads words off the prompter in movies such as WaterWorld.
Let us not forget...
On second thought, strike that. Please, please help me forget...
Robin Hood.
They created a special circle of hell just for people who make casting decisions like this.
I heard an interview . . .
. . . with Alan Rickman (on Fresh Air with Terry Gross, I think) back when that movie was out. He talked about the fact that everybody else in the cast was in a different movie than what Costner was in - all the rest of them were playing it for laughs, but somebody told Kevin it was supposed to be serious...
Jim Downey
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Like Science Fiction? Read my novel, Communion of Dreams, for free.
Robin Hood
Rickman had it dead on, didn't he? It is two different movies.
Haven't read
I hadn't read the book, but that title in my opinion goes to the movie Starship Troopers. I had such high hopes.
Hoooo boy...
Lessee... Guilty pleasures when it comes to movies...
I really find Zoolander funny, which is hard to believe about any Ben Stiller film.
Starship Troopers - I like it, my wife loves it! Yet it doesn't get a lot worse than this flick. It has everything: pointless nudity, horrid acting, cliche plot hooks, etc.
My favorite comedy of all time has to be UHF. 'Nuff said!
I'm sure given enough time I can compile a horrid list of crap, but that's time better spent making fun of Ray Comfort over on his blog...
UHF
UHF was awesome! I'm not guilty in the least of liking that flick. So stupid its genius.
Zoolander
Zoolander rocks! (Cough, cough. "I think I've got the black lung, pop.")
It helps that I actually know a male model, Carl Buell's son Bryce. (Yeah, some guys really DO look like that.)
Apparently models consider it a very cool movie, and all of the really good ones frequently practice Blue Steel and Magnum in their mirrors at home.
The most memorable part of Starship Troopers is the fascistic society that forms the background to the whole story. "Service guarantees citizenship!" (Would you like to know more?)
Cold Steel is god!
I liked Zoolander, and generally think most of Ben Stiller's movies are at least watchable. Then again, I like some of Adam Sandler's movies too, so I might not be the best judge.
Rob Miles
--
There are only 10 types of people in the world;
those who understand binary and those who don't.
Adam Sandler
He's like Will Ferrel - usually best when he's NOT the lead role.
I've seen Happy Gilmore so many times I've picked out pretty much all the continuity errors and poorly done overdubbing. It's pretty much the only Adam Sandler flick I can enjoy. I love it, even though I know guys that have shot a movie that was edited better! (Well, actually my knows them - ever heard of a little Canadian film called "Ginger Snaps"?)
Lilo & Stitch
I have to admit it. I love "Lilo & Stitch". Weird. I just think that the whole thing was so well done. I laugh and laugh every time I watch it. It's strange to me that I am the only one in the family who is there at the very end every time I force - ahem, I mean, "ask" - them to have yet another Lilo & Stitch Family Movie Night.
The Emperor's New Groove
That is my all time new favorite Disney movie (and probably my guiltiest movie pleasure; although I too enjoy Zoolander way too much. Rick and I are both waiting for that once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to say "What is this a center for ants?!?" in some context that will make sense.). Cronk may be one of the best dumb but honestly means well villains ever. And it has Eartha Kitt fro crying out loud.
The Fox and the Hound used to be my favorite, although I have no idea why. I would cry through half of it.
Mandy U
Alien Nation
One of the weird experiences of my youth -- this was in Texas -- was that NONE of my friends, not one, had my same taste in movies or music.
What was WRONG with those people? :D
...
The sequel to Lilo and Stitch sucked like a Detroit ho.
Never, never, never rent a direct-to-DVD sequel to a favorite movie.
also running:
I have to add, any movie by Paul Verhoeven, I know, I know, I'm the lowest of the low
Conan the Barbarian
Yes, the word count for the movie is only 304, but so what, the cinematography is just incredible, and the music carries all the emotion that the words do not. The action is brutal, the women are HOT, and the music is powerful, foreboding, driving (what do you expect from a 24 french horn section). Beautifully done movie, I can watch it over and over and over.
Bless me father for I have sinned
Starship Troopers. I was in China once and I even watched it dubbed in Chinese.
Yeah, but?
Yeah, but did you actually watch Starship Troopers II more than once, Jeg? I think that would need some kind of indulgence straight from Il Papa.
Jim Downey
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Like Science Fiction? Read my novel, Communion of Dreams, for free.
Forget II...
The delectable Casper Van Dien is back for Starship Troopers 3: Marauder (preview through link). Supposedly, it's even based on the book.
I don't bear a grudge. I have no surviving enemies.
Ahnuld
The Terminator and TII are two of my favorite movies of all time. And I am really enjoying the Sarah Connor Chronicles. But I don't feel guilty about it, nor my enjoyment of animated movies.
Lessee... what do I feel guilty about? Something I have a hard time explaining. Somewhere in the back of my mind it feels like I am a complete fraud. As if I have only gotten this far in life by luck and if I am found out, I will be jobless and homeless.
I have that same "feel like
I have that same "feel like a fraud" thing too. Like all of a sudden someone will realize that nothing I'm telling them to do is that brilliant or special and that they could figure this out for themselves, why the hell are they listening to me...and why are they paying me to do this job that they could do themselves...I'm nothing special.
I also used to feel like a fraud when I taught dance. I'm a 28 year old science nerd teaching teenagers hip-hop. I actually let them in on my nerdiness and it turns out most of them are nerds too. Weird.
Mandy U
not so weird
I'm convinced that everyone is a nerd, just in different ways. And a Hip-Hop class is almost guaranteed to have nerds, in the words of a comedian who's name I've forgot, "I'm taking my daughter to hip-hop class, 'cause thats what white people do."
It stands to reason
That the only people who would take a class in hip-hop are the ones who don't know how to do it already, and that would likely be the nerds.
Coming Clean
Thank you for admitting this in public.
Your self-esteem account has been cancelled pending a hearing. The Competence Police will be over shortly to take you down to the courthouse, where you will be required to watch a posthumous video of Mr. Rogers, who will reveal "You're special! And I like you JUST the way you are. Except for all you phonies."
Dang.
Reading this comment again, I have no idea how it came across, but I MEANT for it to be friendly-funny. Funny in an "Everybody feels like that — including me" way.
Movies??
Gosh darn it. I read the phrase "guilty pleasures" and immediately expected I was going to be forced to admit to blowing my nose in the shower.
My guilty pleasure is animated movies. I'd probably vomit if forced to watch the toddler movies like Veggie Tales, but any quality animated movie, Toy Story, Ice Age, Lilo and Stitch, Over the Hedge, Open Season, Brother Bear, stuff like that, woo-hoo, I'm there!
In college, I took a date to see Pete's Dragon, and about a quarter of the way through the thing when Helen Reddy was singing "Candle on the Water," my date looked over and found me misty-eyed and just burst out laughing. (Ha, wench! I can't even remember your name! So there!)
I'm even ready with a fabricated fib if anybody in the theater ever asks me why a 55-year-old man is wading through a lobby full of mommies and kids to see Watership Down: General Woundwort Strikes Back --"Oh, I was a film major, and I'm always interested in the dramatic structure of full-length animated features."
The only movie I'm ASHAMED of seeing (in other words this is not a guilty pleasure, it's just guilt), and liking at the time, is "Billy Jack."
True Lies was good, I agree. If I ever thought about starting up a nuclear-armed terrorist organization, I don't think there's any better name for one than Crimson Jihad.
Later, Hank, later.
Later, Hank, later. We'll get to it. :)
Jim Downey
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Like Science Fiction? Read my novel, Communion of Dreams, for free.
I've got a couple
These were two films that, IMO, were better than they had any right to be: Time Rider and Tremors. There's just something about them (for me at least) that transcends their "B" movie origins.
BTW, one thing that I did like about True Lies is that they did a pretty good job with the audio for the weapons. Small handguns sounded like pops rather than cannons that shake the subs. That gave them room to up the ante all the way to the Harrier opening up with its guns.
Thanks
I was having trouble coming up with a movie that I like but shouldn't, then BA swoops in with the answer.
Tremors, even the sequels. Theres still a running joke with an old friend based on the weird sound the creatures make in one of the sequels, I can only describe it as, "wheare."
Thanks for reminding me of this cinematic masterpiece.
Ace Ventura: Pet Detective.
Ace Ventura: Pet Detective. I don't think any further explanation is necessary. ;-)
Hi y'all. I've been lurking
Hi y'all. I've been lurking for a week or so now, so I thought this would be a good time to contribute something. You may not agree.
My guilty little movie secret is of recent origins. I'm a Beatles fan from way back, and I absolutely hated the "Sgt. Peppers" movie (remember that one, with the Bee Gees and Peter Frampton?) So when my wife and I were at the movie rental place, and I saw the movie "Across the Universe", I just knew it was going to be exactly as bad.
My wife, who doesn't even like the Beatles very much (I know, but she still sexes me up, so I'm glad I married her anyway) decided we were going to rent it. I watched it begrudgingly, knowing they were going to butcher the songs around an inane plot line. I was right on both parts, but I actually kind of enjoyed the movie anyway. Some of the performances weren't ear-shatteringly horrible, and the acting didn't make me want to burn out my eyeballs, which I guess is (on the whole) pretty positive.
If you are going to watch that particular movie, I strongly suggest vodka and/or rum. It worked for me, anyway.
Rob Miles
--
There are only 10 types of people in the world;
those who understand binary and those who don't.
Welcome, and . . .
Welcome, Rob. Glad you decided to delurk and bare your, er, Rubber Soul.
Sgt. Pepper's. Wow, that goes back. High School for me. Still painful.
I'd wondered about "Across the Universe", now might be willing to give it a go. But scotch is the solution, my man, scotch. Single malt, preferably.
Jim Downey
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Like Science Fiction? Read my novel, Communion of Dreams, for free.
Thanks for the welcome. I've
Thanks for the welcome.
I've tried various Scotches, but there's just something about it I don't like, unless I mix it with diet soda. Even then, the ones I can stomach are expensive, so I'd rather spend my money on cheap vodka or rum (which, if you mix them, it doesn't matter if they're cheap.)
I guess I've never gotten over my college days, where quantity meant more than quality (at least where liquor is concerned). I do tend to spend a lot more on good beer, though. Fortunately I don't drink enough to make a big dent in my finances.
Rob Miles
--
There are only 10 types of people in the world;
those who understand binary and those who don't.
Rambo
Oh yes, Rambo. They're all terrific guilty pleasures, but most notably (or most vivid in memory) is the newest one. Nothing but Stallone as an aging slab of beef killing a whole bunch of Asians (but they're evil, like the Arabs in True Lies, so it's ok). He busts out the bow and arrow on some soldiers, practically cuts the main evil dude in half, and literally tears a guy's throat out. Oh, and a quote that only UTI could love: "God didn't save you. We did." (Said by men with guns, natch).
hehe
Shit another one to confess to, First Blood was good. Not quite as over the top as the others (he knocked a guy off a helicopter with a rock, but the chopper didn't blow up) and it has a very similar line,
Teasle: Whatever possessed God in heaven to make a man like Rambo?
Trautman: God didn't make Rambo. I made him!
and Hello Rob!