Observations and inanities by a second-shift assistant supervisor in the Puppy-Grinding division of the Evil Atheist Conspiracy® (our motto: "Sure it's cruel, but think of the jobs!"), your host, Brent Rasmussen.
I Don't Believe In Theists
I really don't. I think that the whole atheist/theist dichotomy is an artificial construct that completely misses the point.
This is it. This life, what we do with it, the ideas, literature, and artwork we create, the memories we leave behind, and the children we produce, are the whole of it. There is no magical afterlife where we live on eternally.
And everyone knows it. It it shown conclusively by the way they act every day - regardless of what they claim to believe about the nature of reality. Gods, demons, angels, spirits, afterlives - it all goes out the window when the rubber meets the road.
Ask yourself; why do devout Christians cry at funerals of a beloved family member? Why do religious believers fight so desperately to stay alive, taking advantage of every medical and scientific breakthrough available to cling to life at all costs?
Because deep down they know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that this life is all there is.
The reality of this was brought home to me yesterday in a very visceral fashion when my wife sent along a poem she had stumbled upon on the internet, and asked me to send it along to the rest of the family. She called the poem "words to live by".
Fearing a syrupy, God-soaked verse, I checked out the poem. And it was... gorgeous. Completely secular, utterly humanistic, and undeniably beautiful.
More beneath the fold...
It is called "The Dash". It was written in 1996 by poet Linda Ellis on her lunch break. In describing how she came to write the poem, she attributed the inspiration to the wife of a co-worker who knew that she was dying. This is what the dying woman said when asked if she had any regrets about her life:
[link] "Regrets? I have a few. Too much worrying. I worried about finding the right husband and having children, being on time, being late and so on. It didn't matter.
It all works out and it would have worked out without the worries and the tears. If I would have known then what I know now. But, I did and so do you. We're all going to die. Stop worrying and start loving and living."
Here's the poem "The Dash".
I read of a man who stood to speak
At the funeral of a friend
He referred to the dates on her tombstone
From the beginning to the endHe noted that first came the date of her birth
And spoke the following date with tears,
But he said what mattered most of all
Was the dash between those yearsFor that dash represents all the time
That she spent alive on earth.
And now only those who loved her
Know what that little line is worth.For it matters not how much we own;
The cars, the house, the cash,
What matters is how we live and love
And how we spend our dash.So think about this long and hard.
Are there things you’d like to change?
For you never know how much time is left,
That can still be rearranged.If we could just slow down enough
To consider what’s true and real
And always try to understand
The way other people feel.And be less quick to anger,
And show appreciation more
And love the people in our lives
Like we’ve never loved before.If we treat each other with respect,
And more often wear a smile
Remembering that this special dash
Might only last a little while.So, when your eulogy is being read
With your life’s actions to rehash
Would you be proud of the things they say
About how you spent your dash?
After my mother read it, she responded in such a way as to bring home the fact to me that theists do not exist. It's all a socially-driven front. A strategy to fit-in and to be accepted. It is my personal opinion that claims to belief in magical men in the sky is an evolutionary strategy that was once successful and necessary, but that is now waning and that will disappear naturally over time.
Here's what mom said:
"Thank you for the beautiful message. It was awesome and very needed. It really brings to mind what our lives are about, [or should be about]."
My mom is one of the most Christian ladies I have ever known. And in her response, not one word about God, or jesus, or a "greater purpose", or any other of a thousand stock Christian platitudes. It floored me.
Please don't misunderstand me - I am most assuredly not trying to mock or disrespect my mother. On the contrary, I think she articulated perfectly my own thoughts about how we humans create meaning in our lives.
There are no magical beings hovering just out of sight, yet taking keen interest in our lives. People already know this, whether they admit to it or not.
I don't believe in theists - but I do believe in humanity. We all die. Stop worrying about it and start living and loving!
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You just may have something
You just may have something here, Brent.
Why We Mourn
Speaking as a Christian, I can tell you the reasons that we mourn the passing of a loved are almost the same that anybody else mourns the passing of a loved one: because it hurts. While we believe and hope to be reunited with them someday, we know that we will not see them again for a long time, possibly ever. Faith makes losing a loved one easier, but it doesn't make it easy.
I have a friend, a Christian, who is 43 years old and in the final stages of a losing battle with bone cancer. He fully expects to go to heaven. But when he passes he will leave behind a loving wife and 3 small children. He, as you described, pursued every avenue of treatment, including spending weeks at a time 1000 miles away from his home and family to participate in an experimental treatment. Why go through all of this? Because he didn't want to leave his wife or his kids.
Of course, there is a whole other can of worms about why this is happening to him, etc. But none of that changes how he has lived his life and how it will end, nor the faith with which he will face his end.
But That Is My Point
Hi Odgie,
First of all, welcome to UTI!
That is my point. If Christianity is to be believed as a real thing with real value, then you are not in any way "losing a loved one". In the very worst case, you and your loved one will be separated for a while, but what is a few years of separation when stacked up against eternal bliss basking in the awesome presence of the Supreme Creator of the Universe? You should be ecstatically happy for your loved one! They are, after all, going ahead to be in heaven, the most gorgeously, magically, splendiferously amazing place - ever. It's got golden streets you know! Probably golden street signs as well! Who wouldn't want to live in a place like that!? I mean, I bet your loved one will even have your Heaven House all set up, with the (golden, probably) grass mowed and everything.
And all you have to do is spend some time apart. What are you whining about?
I truly do sympathize with your friend, and I commend him for not giving in to the religious lunacy that would have had him lay down and die because his invisible buddy Jesus was waiting for him on the "other side".
I am 42 myself, with a loving wife, 5 children, and one grandchild. Cancer and heart disease is rampant in my family - and I am a smoker. I figure I've only got a few years left before I contract some nasty form of cancer, or my heart explodes out of my chest and goes on a bloody rampage through downtown Phoenix, stomping buildings flat and eventually having to be brought down by a plucky asian boy and his friend, the reluctant hero, who happen to stumble into the cockpit of an idling military tank vehicle and using just their good-ole American can-do spirit, and a wad of chewing gum, manage to slay the beast with HE shells, paint cans swinging down from the second story, and machine-gun fire.
Woah. Can you say "Here I come Hollywood?" :)
Personally, my hopes lay squarely on the shoulders of the scientists and researchers in the medical industry, but if they don't come through with some advanced medical treatment for whatever ails me in ten or twenty years, then I'm sure they will eventually. I've already lived a good, full life. Ive got five ways to pass-along my genetic legacy, and my kids are fantastic people. I am content.
Your friend is not a theist, Odgie. His is not a God-believer except maybe in the cultural sense. I do not for one *second* think he actually believes in a magical man in the sky. His actions do not reflect it. His story is heart-wrenching, and very very sad. I feel awful that his wife and children will be left without him in their lives, but to say that he "fully expects to go to heaven" is wishful thinking, and a platitude that is - in my opinion - insulting to him. It also insults his intelligence and his choices in what he decided to go through to try and beat his cancer using modern human medicine and science.
At least give your friend some respect by treating him like a real human being, who made real, painful decisions - instead of treating him like the puppet of some capricious god-thing, who's strings have been cut.
Hollywoody
You forgot the love interest. The bright, cute somewhat socially awkward girl or the brooding coolly beautiful woman with a painful, mysterious past.
I am not sure that a genetic legacy of cancer and heart disease is really something to celebrate passing on although being from a family of early diers from heart/circulatory problems I can definitely sympathize with that aspect of your life. My own share of that genetic code will die with me however.
I wish that I had some magic spell or at the very least some magic words that could break the grip of nicotine on those addicted to it. My mother was one such person. She tried many times to quit and failed each time. After many small heart attacks she finally had one that killed her at age 57. The one that killed her mother (also a smoker) happened when she was 48. I have a vivid memory of the house full of people weeping when that happened. (I was 6 at the time).
May you find within yourself the strength to spare your children a similar experience. Chances are your children will watch you die someday for that is the way of things, but it is a horse of quite a different color to make them stand by helplessly and watch while you slowly kill yourself. I understand that this sounds preachy, but so be it. I paid the full price of admission.
With You
Dang it! A love interest!? That's genius!
You want to split the profits from the sale of the screenplay 50/50? We'll be rich, Hollywood moguls, I tells ya!
I'm 100% with you, Thameron. It's not like I desire death or anything. Luckily, 4 out of 5 of my kids do not smoke. I have started a "Nic Shot Fund" - a buck here, a buck there - that I eventually will haul down to the CoinStar, cash it in, then head straight to the Doc's office and get my nicotine shot. Maybe I'll throw a PayPal donation button up here at UTI too. Not sure yet.
I know myself too well to lie and think I can quit on my own. Tried it, and it does not work. Fortunately, modern pharmacological science has come up with a perfect solution for folks like me with a chronic lack of willpower.
My $.02 on smoking
Brent-
I have a great deal of experience on both sides of the smoking issue. First, I lost my mother (she was 57, a smoker all her adult life) in 2003 to lung cancer and I was a two-pack-a-day-smoker myself for 19 years. Notice I said 'was' a smoker. I finally kicked the habit last July. I quit cold turkey and recommend the same to all other smokers with a desire to quit.
The reason I recommend the cold turkey method is because of how hard that first two weeks are. Nothing worth while is ever easy. I hope that Nicotine shot works for you, but I am skeptical. It sounds too good to be true. I've talked to so many people who have tried gum, patches, hypnotism, pills, etc and none of it ever works.
The cold turkey method sucks, but it's for real. It's taking responsibility for yourself and not trying to escape the consequences of your indulgences. I never want to go through that again. There have been plenty of times since that I really wanted a smoke, but I will never forget how awful the physical addiction is. It's been 8 months and I'm pretty sure I'm still psychologically addicted. Every time something stressful happens, I still think of smoking. I still have dreams about smoking. And the smell, damn it smells good.
I hate hearing you say that you lack willpower. Don't make excuses. Don't rationalize. I'm sure you have far more inner strength than you give yourself credit for. And I am positive your family would be glad to help you in your moments of weakness.
Anyway, I know how much I used to hate people lecturing me on how smoking is bad, so I apologize. But, I just want you to know that when you are finally ready, it is possible and worth it. I definitely feel better. My fingers aren't brown anymore. I don't get shortness of breath from minor exertion. I can take a deep breath without wheezing. I can smell things again. And best of all, no one is lecturing me anymore!
Lecturing...
No problem. I understand the danger, and I am going to try the cold turkey method again. I have been marginally successful with it in the past.
However, this new drug treatment is interesting. It is not a nicotine replacement treatment. Instead, it physically prevents the nicotine you ingest from crossing the blood/brain barrier. So, after you begin taking the drug, the regimen is "keep smoking". After a while, you stop getting the high from the nicotine, and smoking is revealed to your body for what it really is. Disgusting. And you quit.
It's like a helper for the cold turkey method.
Good advice, Dirk. I do appreciate it.
Huzzah
May the interest on your $0.02 ever compound.
Sounds promising
As you might surmise I wish you naught but success. Some (few) people can quit on their own and (many) others cannot (at least not while they still have the option). I don't know what the determining factors are there. Perhaps some have a chemistry less compatable with nicotine and thus it would have less of a grip on them.
I am generally a peace loving person, but if someone were to go into the corporate board rooms of Phillip Morris and open up with a high caliber automatic weapon I could not help but cheer. Those who profit from addicting people to something that slowly kills them do not qualify as human. They are monsters walking in human flesh. One might liken them to a poisonous bloated tick.
By their works you shall know them
Wow, two beautiful poems for the price of one! Nice. Thanks.
Brent, I've spent a lot of time thinking about that word, "believe" and have decided to reduce my usage of it. In fact I have restricted it severely. That's an aside to the following.
I don't believe in a supernatural agency that is responsible for, well, all of this we find when we look about. There is simply a total dearth of persuasive evidence, let alone qualified testimony.
Now, to consider someone who does "believe" requires me to assume that the average person (I so categorize myself, nothing fancy here) is capable of taking foolish evidence and warmed over testimony as being the single most authoritative voice addressing the storied questions of Life, the Universe, and Everything. Being so armed, I am able to detect and deflect bullshit when it is flying in my airspace. I am able to do so because I have learned the hard way that judging evidence and testimony involves lots more than a snap judgment of the sincerity shown in its offering. One makes judgments by applying the strictest principles one knows. To apply a lesser standard opens the door to mistake and is rather lazy to boot.
Now, when someone makes claims based upon unsupported evidence and or twice (thrice, etc.) told tales, it is easy to see that they are attributing any success or personal achievement to fallacy. As well, they improperly interpret the fabric of their own lives as being specially influenced, or privileged. At this point I notice that on average, plotted on the bell curve, in the long run, when all is said and done, their lives are much more similar to mine than they would be comfortable admitting. In fact, those who I challenge will not deny that they carry a burden of sorrow, regret, anger and et certera not unlike the one carried by this godless baby eating heathen. No difference to them, except they say as one,"But I have faith." They willfully and wholly reject the notion that their own actions and decisions have actually led to real results in the real world without passing through the Lord Filter.
Since they freely choose to base their lives on whimsy and fable, and since I reject whimsy and fable as ultimate factors on which to base important decisions, I find it effortless to reject them as well. At least to the extent that their claims are bullshit. They are all, of course, real live people and deserving of a modicum of respect and deference just like all people. But this by no means requires me to respect the model that the hold to be superior. What makes this so easy is that all one has to do is judge by observation. No experimental apparatus are required. It just takes a long time; time that so many are loath to invest when it comes to Life, the Universe and Everything. I guess there must be many other things demanding their attention, but what I cannot say what they might be. Oh, yeah, Teh Death.
"And so it goes, Billy Pilgrim."
E Pluribus Unum
One of my favorites
Brent, I hope your mom will enjoy this one as well. Best wishes.
The Bridge Builder
by Will Allen Dromgoole
An old man, going a lone highway,
Came, at the evening, cold and gray,
To a chasm, vast, and deep, and wide,
Through which was flowing a sullen tide.
The old man crossed in the twilight dim;
The sullen stream had no fear for him;
But he turned, when safe on the other side,
And built a bridge to span the tide.
"Old man," said a fellow pilgrim, near,
"You are wasting strength with building here;
Your journey will end with the ending day;
You never again will pass this way;
You've crossed the chasm, deep and wide-
Why build you this bridge at the evening tide?"
The builder lifted his old gray head:
"Good friend, in the path I have come," he said,
"There followeth after me today,
A youth, whose feet must pass this way.
This chasm, that has been naught to me,
To that fair-haired youth may a pitfall be.
He, too, must cross in the twilight dim;
Good friend, I am building this bridge for him."
I don't believe in theists -
I don't believe in theists - but I do believe in humanity. We all die. Stop worrying about it and start living and loving!
Sometimes I have my doubts about humanity, but truer words have not been spoken.
It's hope against hope. They
It's hope against hope. They furiously *wish* death isn't the end. Maybe it's a form of denial, a battle they have to wage (in a compulsive manner) in their heads to drown the harsh reality.
beautiful
That is a very beautiful poem. Thanks for passing it along. And your article wasn't bad. It is clear that most christians would live very different lives if they truly believed what they claim to believe. The social value of being a believer is very real and damn difficult to overcome.
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