I get mail . . .

Because I have an email address posted over there on the left, I am open to all manner of spam, rants, threats, and general crazy-people appeals to embrace their version of Big Magic Ju-Ju Man. It's no big deal, and goes with the territory. Usually.

But occasionally something will come through that account that gets my attention.

Nah, not the threats. I've long since learned to ignore those. I'm not afraid of hell-fire, and if someone wants to try and kill me there's not much I can do about it beyond what I already do in how I live my life.

But I am amused by some of the more creative things the nuts do, like adding me to a online group called "Serenity Fountain". Hmm. Could be something about Serenity/Firefly (I'm a big fan). Could be a porn site. But no, it's a religious discussion group, with this description:

On a daily basis, Serenity Fountain group members shall be sent e-mails containing very precious advices, essential information from the books of
great Ahlas-sunna Islamic scholars (rahimahumullah) that provide sustenance for souls and cure darkened hearts.

I mean, signing me up for that is kind of funny. Sure, it's a bit of a pain, since I had to go 'unsubscribe' from the group in order to keep my inbox from getting filled with their "very precious advices". But that's a lot more creative than just sending me a cut & paste screed.

Then there's a special category of spam I get - stuff which is directed towards the god-botherers themselves. My cynical nature makes me take a look at this stuff, to see just how the faithful are being milked by the scam artists. Like this one I got this morning:

This is it...a visitor walks into the church building. The visitor has taken the first step--a giant step. They have overcome every barrier that has kept them away; fear, intimidation, social inertia, weekend distractions, preconceived notions and a million other reasons that have kept them away until now.

Now, this moment and this moment only, you have the chance to make a first impression that will forever color this visitor's opinion of your church.

And then you're invited to check out the guy's site to find out about his AMAZING method of hookin' that fish. Which he will gladly sell to you for the special low low price of just $39.95. The method is *guaranteed* to work!

Heh. Sure it is.

When I get stuff like this, I just have to laugh, and cynically think about how rich I could be if I had the same kind of scruples touted by the faithful.

Jim Downey