Observations and inanities by a second-shift assistant supervisor in the Puppy-Grinding division of the Evil Atheist Conspiracy® (our motto: "Sure it's cruel, but think of the jobs!"), your host, Brent Rasmussen.
Now, who could have thought that would happen?
Got a link to this news story from a friend, who added the comment: "OK, this goes waaaaay beyond stupidity."
Man Shooting Hole Through Wall Kills Wife
DEEPWATER, Mo. -- Officials are trying to decide whether to file charges against a Missouri man who fatally shot his wife while trying to install a satellite TV system in the bedroom of their home.
Patsy Long, 34, of Deepwater, died after being shot in the chest with a .22-caliber handgun on Saturday. Her husband, Ronald Long, fired the shot from the inside of their home after several unsuccessful efforts to punch a hole through the exterior wall using other means.
Henry County sheriff's deputies said the woman was hit by the second of two shots fired by her husband.
*sigh*
I have actually witnessed another Slope-headed Missouri stump-jumper do something equally stupid, though no one died as a result. When I was a kid, at a little camping park down in the Ozarks, one of the locals decided to put in a pot-belly stove in his little shack. And he used a 12 gauge shotgun to install the hole for the chimney pipe. Seriously. We were there, and we all thought he was kidding, right up to the point where he cut loose with a load of buckshot, blasting a hole through the outside wall. I was about half deaf for the rest of the weekend . . .
Jim Downey
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They say you can't fix stupid...
But a shotgun in the hands of Mr. Stupid sure can fix some things, I guess. My only question is whether Mrs. Stupid reproduced with Mr. Stupid before this happened. Darwin Award or not, that could shouldn't be breeding.
...
Actually, most of the population of Missouri shouldn't be breeding.
I came close to a solution like this ...
Well not really.
Last month we had ice dam on our roof. Stuff was heavy. Ice got melty on top from the sun and started leaking into the house.
We're talking a lot of ice - when I went up to look it was a thick foot in spots. We've had a long, cold and wet winter here in Wisconsin.
I did not seriously consider using explosives to get rid of the ice dam .. but for a few seconds I did ponder the notion as a hazy 'boy that would be a bad idea but it might be fun' way.
I did shovel snow and chisel a hole, which let out most of the melt-water. Than spread salt to speed up the melting. That took care of it.
But blowing up the ice would have been an interesting experiment. Too bad I value having an intact house.
Thermite.
Brian, c'mon - every good ol' boy knows explosives ain't good for dealing with ice, unless you go to the trouble to get down under it plant your charge.
Nah, the *real* solution is some homemade thermite. Why, that stuff will melt a whole lotta ice - and put a hole right through your roof, startin' up a good fire to get rid of the rest of your problems!
Jim Downey
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Like Science Fiction? Read *or listen to* my novel, Communion of Dreams, for free.
Well ..
My half-baked notion was to drill holes in the ice and plant black powder in the hole - somewhat like I've heard they do in rock mining.
I did have a friend who solved the 'demolish the old house' problem in a like manner.
The house was being demolished by the new owners. On move-out / demolish day he piled up some trash in the front yard and lit it.
His explanation as to why he just didn't let the city pick it up was lame - I suspect 'cheap' mixed with 'fire is cool' was involved in the thought process.
Anyway - the fire was close to the house - too close. The house caught on fire. The fire department was called out to make sure it didn't spread to the neighboring houses.
As it was merrily burning to the ground - the wrecking crew showed up.
All in all it was a very exciting day.
White phospherous grenade
When I was a tanker in the Army, we had a white phosphorous grenade go off right at the ammo pit. You don't put that stuff out easily, but when it's burning on crates of 105mm tank armor, you damned sure do what you can to put it out.
The Lieutenant who'd actually set off the grenade was cowering off to the side, saying "Oh, god, help us" over and over. That was one useless Lieutenant.
Rob Miles
--
There are only 10 types of people in the world;
those who understand binary and those who don't.
I think you are missing a point here...
Do you realize just how hard it is to put a .22 round BLINDLY thru a wall and still hit the ball and chain -thru a vital spot?
Sheese-give a guy some credit here!
A new method of avoiding divorce court.
Well, he -did- have to shoot twice.
I dunno. It took him two tries . . .
Jim Downey
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Like Science Fiction? Read *or listen to* my novel, Communion of Dreams, for free.
I dunno...
That 1st was either a ranging shot or a try to attract her attention.(A salt lick probably wouldn't have worked as well.)
Ya think?
Darwin Award, honorable mention
This one is Darwin-award worthy.
Charge should be negligent homicide.
Whole thing sounds like a rejected script for "the Simpsons" (the one where Homer was using handguns to open his beer cans).
Or that airline pilot who discharged a pistol in the cockpit...
during flight yesterday. If he'd depressurized the cabin, or nuked the controls and crashed the plane, who would get the award?
Oh, and if the wife-shooting guy's reading this post, I have six words for you: "Extra-long wood-boring spade bit". Just go to the hardware store and ask for one, they'll help you out.
But he did shoot a hole in the plane
all the way through if I have been informed correctly. An AP article yesterday mentioned that photographs were taken. According to the report, there was a small hole under a cockpit window on the inside and a slightly larger one on the outside. No indication of which cockpit window was given and the photos were not offered.
I'd guess that the silly bastard did hole the airframe and made an unobstructed path for the horribly high pressure air inside to escape through to the horribly low pressure air outside. A difference that could be as much as, well, some fraction of an atmosphere. (14.7 lbs/sq in is one atmosphere.)
Shit. I can get more than that blowing up party balloons. I would suggest that since the aircraft did not suffer a massive depressurization despite being holed indicates that guns are OK in airplanes. As long as they are handled by someone who knows not to have a round chambered unless you are ready to fire! How many times had this man been told? Many.
Some rules can be fudged; others cannot.
What makes you think
What makes you think wife-shooter can operate a computer, or even read? He's from Missouri, after all.
And you still haven't answered me: what did decrepi tell the fool?
Rob Miles
--
There are only 10 types of people in the world;
those who understand binary and those who don't.
"...what did decrepi tell the fool?"
Ouch... good one.
Hey!
Hey, I resemble that remark!
Jim Downey
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Like Science Fiction? Read *or listen to* my novel, Communion of Dreams, for free.
Begs the question . . .
. . . does it really qualify for a Darwin, if you take your spouse out of the gene pool but remain fertile yourself?
Jim Downey
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Like Science Fiction? Read *or listen to* my novel, Communion of Dreams, for free.
Maybe for her
I suppose it depends on whether you consider marrying someone who considers a gun a household tool Darwin Award material or not.
Probably not good for an award, although it might get an honorable mention.
It should qualify...
but in the end it depends on the intelligence of the females in his community as much as it depends on his own idiocy. Let's hope he gets ambitious and offs himself before he meets Mrs. Stupid.
Bitch bitch bitch.
Folks, I'm in a fairly good mood, but recently something has been happening which makes me grumpy, and I want to address it here for one and all.
I really appreciate links or story ideas like the one that prompted this blog entry. Thanks - I don't have a chance to keep up with everything, and sometimes someone will come across something like this which is perfect for UTI (or my own blog). So, that's cool.
But recently I've gotten a spate of people sending me comments or observations rather than posting them here themselves. And that isn't cool.
Please - post the stuff here yourself. You can do so completely anonymously - no need to fear being 'outed' as an atheist. It contributes to the general sense of community to have more comments. More people than just me will probably find it interesting. And I ain't your fuckin' secretary.
It's not that I don't appreciate comments people send me. But I'm too busy to cross-post them here myself, and you might as well post them here for all to enjoy. Really.
/rant.
Jim Downey
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Like Science Fiction? Read *or listen to* my novel, Communion of Dreams, for free.
I've been reading here for over two years...
and it does seem that there has been a drop in the number of comments over the last couple of months.
I know there are people lurking. I lurked for almost a year before really jumping in, and I'm still only good for a few solid comments a week at best.
It often surprises me how few comments some posts get, especially since many of the posts here are on fairly contentious issues. While most readers here may be atheists(?), I have seen liberals, conservatives, socialists, libertarians, christians, agnostics and everything else comment here and they are usually well-received if they have something relevant to say.
I realize that not everyone feels like a heated debate(or maybe any debate)on a regular basis, but no one should let that prevent them from putting in their two cents. I get a bit passionate in my responses sometimes, especially on some of Jim's posts. I have very strong opinions on authoritarianism, fascism, and church/state separation, and many of his posts hit these issues squarely. While I think that atheists have perhaps more reason than the general public to watchdog these issues at the moment, you certainly don't have to be an atheist to have a strong opinion on such basic political ideas. If my comments are too aggressive or emotional, respond to someone else, tell me to shut up(and maybe why I should), or ignore my hyperbole and discuss the issues. But when a post or comment gets your blood boiling, or makes you think, or just gives you a laugh, don't just lurk in the shadows like Merv Griffin. Say something!
Sometimes I wish that more sincere believers would stop by and play. It's always entertaining, but I think the entry fee of having to at least attempt to use reason and honesty in a discussion is a bit too steep for many of them.
Why Do You Hate The Cute Little Puppies?
Obviously you're a puppy-grinding bastard. What else would explain your uncontrollable rages and attacks on all that is good and true?
I'll pray for you. *looks piously heavenward*
(Dang! That was fun! :) )
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