Observations and inanities by a second-shift assistant supervisor in the Puppy-Grinding division of the Evil Atheist Conspiracy® (our motto: "Sure it's cruel, but think of the jobs!"), your host, Brent Rasmussen.
Now: Talk with corpses.
I have been talking to the dead for my entire life and after 6 years of research I have perfected a new technique that, under ideal conditions, is more than 73% successful.
My objective is to use this new site to share my technique so that others too may talk to the dead.
More than 73% successful! Woo-hoo!
But the website will make you crazy. Just sayin'.
OK, so I couldn't resist posting about corpses again this weekend. I tried - almost made it - but just couldn't quite. I know, I'm weak.
I wonder, do they make a patch for that? Shots that help you quit?
Jim Downey
(Via MeFi.)
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Oh, that kind of patch
My first thought was that you were looking for something like a boy-scout patch for will power. Maybe my sister could make one for you.
Frank Moorman, skeptic
Quitting
You should probably talk to a reputable psychologist or psychiatrist about this behavior. Since you know the Zapruder method already, I suggest Sigmund Freud.
From the makers of Harangue a Cadaver...
The best is yet to come!
Teaching it to play dead will be easy, but I bet it's tough to get your dearly departed schnauzer to fetch.
It must really work
This must be the real deal because:
1. The technique is named after two dead scientists who did pioneering work on the EEG.
2. There's a strobe light involved.
Did someone not clue her in to the fact that after you're dead you don't have brain waves anymore?