It's The End Of The World As We Know It

Brent Rasmussen's picture

Yup. If I wanted a prophet of God to predict the end of the world, I would definitely look for one whose nickname was "Buffalo Bill".

[link] Nuclear war will begin next Thursday, June 12, or sooner, according to the latest prediction of self-proclaimed prophet Yisrayl "Buffalo Bill" Hawkins, the founder of a religious sect in Abilene, Texas.

"It could be turned loose before then," Hawkins told 20/20 for a report to be broadcast tonight. "You're going to see this very soon, really soon," he said.

Hundreds of truck trailers have been loaded with food and water on the group's 44-acre compound, in preparation for the coming war.

Unfortunately for Hawkins, it is not the first time he predicted the outbreak of nuclear war.

You know what? I feel fine. How about you?

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Mike O'Risal's picture

An Apocalypse to Remember

That was the kewlest apocalypse EVUH. It was all, like, BOOM... burn burn burn... scream.... ZOMBIE MUTANT FLESH-EATING BABY SEALS. I mean, damn. You just don't get a worldwide incinerating nuclear holocaust like that every day!

More here, because it's all too beautiful.

The Future Was Yesterday's picture

I'd Feel Better If......

I could get this nagging voice out of my head that says "Buffalo Bob" is getting inside information from another lunatic from his state!....

Crudely Wrott's picture

Can faith mirror good competition, including losing a game?

It is now a quarter to midnight EDT, June 12. I know that there is are a few hours before Thursday will dissipate against the International Date Line (a limit imposed by human judgment and political wrangling but necessary just the same). Inasmuch as my planetary worldwide allseeing radar detects no actual or immanent launches, I'd say that nuclear war is not likely today.

That and the fact that the Celtics have just come back from 24 points down to win game four. Bos.-97, LA-91. History, sports fans, history.

Lets all look closely and often at Yisrayl's blog tomorrow, which is about five minutes from now. Many pithy comments are even now in ferment, even being distilled from previous knowledge. I raise a glass of the result to Yisrayl and his pet spook in anticipation of their good sportsmanship even in defeat. Like the Lakers will exhibit soon.

Go Celtics, go baby eaters and puppy stompers and good night.

MikeB's picture

I wish you would have told me yesterday.

I really need a day or two notice that I'm doomed. Here it is late on the 12th, as I'm ready to head off to bed, and I find out the world ended. Why am I always the last to know?

Is there a book somewhere like "Cult Leaders for Dummies" where I can learn how to get people to follow me blindly and give me money, or truckloads of food and stuff? The Lotto think isn't working.

Crudely Wrott's picture

On a delicate hinge swings the world

He was right. Not about the nukes but about the end of the world as I know it; the Celtics are down by fifteen to the Lakers with three and a half left in the third. All is lost. All die. Oh, the embarrassment.

I lie. There's plenty of time . . .

But even more to the point, why didn't he pick tomorrow, Friday the thirteenth? Could it be he didn't want to appear merely superstitious?

Crudely Wrott's picture

Premature retentiveness

Ahh, maybe I let pessimism override my faith! Boston goes on a 17 to 3 run to end the third! It's a 2 point game! There is a Dog! Ha ledge you la! (Must be a Leprechaun lurking near.)

Crudely Wrott's picture

Makes Two Posts is my buckskinner name

And learns to ignore certain server error messages.

Obligatory Oops.

Hank Fox's picture

Aw heck ...

I wanted that one! Now I'll have to go with "Farts Like Dog." :D

Kentucky Boy's picture

I like guys like this-its a

I like guys like this-its a reminder thatmost major religions were started by demented egomaniacs like this guy. And what is it with Texas and compounds full of religious fanatics? It must be all the cheap land.

Steve James's picture

How come these guys always have a compound?

I want a compound. How do I get one? If it helps, I can make looney prophecies that don't come true.

Honestly, who do they think is going to start a nuclear war just at the moment? Iran? What, via Fedex? The Russians or the Chinese? Like those guys aren't more into making a profit these days than a prophecy.

About the only ones who could do it are us. And really, for a nuclear holocaust, somebody has to be able to shoot back.

Y'know, if I was having a nuclear holocaust, I'd be sure to drop a few extra megaton-range warheads into Texas and Idaho.

Show them what happens to their precious compounds.

Steve "Note to Homeland security: Sarcasm. Look it up." James

Jim Downey's picture

And he don't care.

Hawkins says he does not care if people consider him a laughing stock.

"You know, the savior himself, told me not to worry about that. He said, 'They're going to hate you above all people on the face of the earth,' " Hawkins explained.

Well, that's another thing he has wrong. I don't hate him. I bet he doesn't even make the Top 100 Most Hated People in the World list.

Jim Downey

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Like Science Fiction? Read *or listen to* my novel, Communion of Dreams, for free.

Hank Fox's picture

Hate him?

Heh. He only wishes we cared enough about him to hate him. This is more like stepping in dog poop, or finding a snail in your salad. It's more of an Ewww! reaction.

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