Observations and inanities by a second-shift assistant supervisor in the Puppy-Grinding division of the Evil Atheist Conspiracy® (our motto: "Sure it's cruel, but think of the jobs!"), your host, Brent Rasmussen.
I Love You Watermelon, But Not In That Way
Fourth of July is coming up tomorrow, and Mrs. Inscrutable always feeds me a lot of watermelon during this holiday. I used to tell myself that it was becuase it's really hot out here in Arizona - but now I'm not so sure...
[link] Watermelon yields Viagra-like effects
LUBBOCK, Texas (AP) — A slice of cool, fresh watermelon is a juicy way to top off a Fourth of July cookout and one that researchers say has effects similar to Viagra — but don't necessarily expect it to keep the fireworks all night long.
Watermelons contain an ingredient called citrulline that can trigger production of a compound that helps relax the body's blood vessels, similar to what happens when a man takes Viagra, said scientists in Texas, one of the nation's top producers of the seedless variety.
Found in the flesh and rind of watermelons, citrulline reacts with the body's enzymes when consumed in large quantities and is changed into arginine, an amino acid that benefits the heart and the circulatory and immune systems.
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Perfect!
I love watermelon and now I have a reason to love it even more. I guess I am going on a watermelon diet :D
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Watermelons, eh?
Well, this brings a new perspective to those old stereotypes of Negroes...
Hmmm
So, if you soak the watermelon in booze would it help nullify the effects of whiskey dick?
This explains a lot.
I spent my teens and early twenties in Texas, eating watermelon every day and having a constant boner. Now I'm 63, living mellon free in Washington State and haven't seen wood in years.
How long will it take for this to work itself in the vernacular? Suggested new double entendre terms:
Spittin' Seeds
Pulling the vines
Melon balls
Thump the rind
eat more watermelon
Brought to you by the watermelon growers of America.
Have you never been to a watermelon roast???
Man, maybe those are just a Midwest thing. Huh.
See, you have a big bonfire in a clearing in the woods. All the couples attend. The evening wears on, fun is had, and then someone will throw a watermelon on the fire. Because of the moisture inside, soon the watermelon will pop, sending bits flying. And then all the couples go off into the woods to get a piece.
See, we've known about this watermelon connection for a long time.
Jim Downey
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Like Science Fiction? Read *or listen to* my novel, Communion of Dreams, for free.
Oh, great...
I guess that means my Inbox will fill up with "buy W@t3rm3ll0n cheap, legal" SPAM now.
Rob Miles
--
There are only 10 types of people in the world;
those who understand binary and those who don't.
Don't . . .
...give them ideas, Rob.
Jim Downey
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Like Science Fiction? Read *or listen to* my novel, Communion of Dreams, for free.
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