The latest TSA follies . . .

So, you're a retired brigadier general in the Air National Guard, and even certified to carry a pistol as a pilot of a commercial airliner, under the program designed to provide last-chance security against terrorists seizing control of a jet. What does the TSA do? Put you on the terror watch list, of course:

But there's one problem: James Robinson, the pilot, has difficulty even getting to his plane because his name is on the government's terrorist "watch list."

That means he can't use an airport kiosk to check in; he can't do it online; he can't do it curbside. Instead, like thousands of Americans whose names match a name or alias used by a suspected terrorist on the list, he must go to the ticket counter and have an agent verify that he is James Robinson, the pilot, and not James Robinson, the terrorist.

"Shocking's a good word; frustrating," Robinson -- the pilot -- said. "I'm carrying a weapon, flying a multimillion-dollar jet with passengers, but I'm still screened as, you know, on the terrorist watch list."

Along with about a million other people.

OK, that's good, but this is even better:

Commuter Flights Grounded Thanks To Bumbling TSA Inspector

They're the government... and remember, they're here to help. A bumbling inspector with the Transportation Safety Administration apparently has some explaining to do, after nine American Eagle regional jets were grounded at Chicago's O'Hare International Airport on Tuesday.

Citing sources within the aviation industry, ABC News reports an overzealous TSA employee attempted to gain access to the parked aircraft by climbing up the fuselage... reportedly using the Total Air Temperature (TAT) probes mounted to the planes' noses as handholds.

"The brilliant employees used an instrument located just below the cockpit window that is critical to the operation of the onboard computers," one pilot wrote on an American Eagle internet forum. "They decided this instrument, the TAT probe, would be adequate to use as a ladder."

Sweet! As noted in a further comment on ANN:

E-I-C Note: This was an extraordinarily dangerous incident, folks. The TSA has neither the mandate nor the knowledge to inspect any aircraft for any reason. The stupidity of this matter is nearly unbelievable... until you hear that the TSA is involved... then it becomes understandable, though still tragic. And I can not tell you how frustrating it is, to see them continue to hurt an indsutry that they were created to protect.

The TSA has NO BUSINESS putting untrained personnel in a position to damage aircraft. Their bizarre games, in the name of security, do NOTHING to enhance security and do much to inhibit safety. Aviation personnel -- pilots, A&P's, ground personnel -- are all either licensed or supervised by licensed personnel and this kind of tampering, had it been accomplished by anyone else, would have subjected that person to criminal charges.

But hey, they can do what they want. They're the TSA.

Well, *maybe* there's a chance to fight back, at least on some things:

Court: Passengers can challenge no-fly list

Critics of the government's secret no-fly list scored a potentially important victory Monday when a federal appeals court ruled that would-be passengers can ask a judge and jury to decide whether their inclusion on the list violates their rights.

In a 2-1 ruling, the Ninth U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals in San Francisco reinstated a suit by a former Stanford University student who was detained and handcuffed in 2005 as she was about to board a plane to her native Malaysia.

The ruling is apparently the first to allow a challenge to the no-fly list to proceed in a federal trial court, said the plaintiff's lawyer, Marwa Elzankaly.

The decision would allow individuals to demand information from the government, present evidence on why they should not have been on the list, and take the case to a jury, Elzankaly said.

Of course, it'd take time, money, and the willingness to suffer further hassle from the TSA, for standing up for your rights. Because, you know, that'd mark you as a troublemaker. Hell, just writing about these issues has probably flagged my name - we'll see what happens the next time I need to fly somewhere, coming up in about two months.

I swear, just about the biggest thing a presidential candidate could do in my book would be to promise to get rid of the whole security theater nonsense, to reconsider whether we need the TSA as it currently exists, to revamp the Department of Homeland Security, and to return us some semblance of our rights under the Constitution. Sheesh.

Jim Downey

(Via MeFi and ML, cross posted to my blog and Daily Kos.)