Observations and inanities by a second-shift assistant supervisor in the Puppy-Grinding division of the Evil Atheist Conspiracy® (our motto: "Sure it's cruel, but think of the jobs!"), your host, Brent Rasmussen.
Yeah, it's gotten that bad.
A thought experiment for you: Consider, if you will, at what point the absurdity of "security theatre" crosses the line from the merely annoying to the actively dangerous (to our civil liberties). How would you detect such a point?
How about with a simple American flag?
Metal plates send messages to airport x-ray screeners
One of my favorite artists, Evan Roth, is working on a project that will be released soon - the pictures say it all, it's a "carry on" communication system. These metal places contain messages which will appear when they are X-Rayed. The project isn't quite done yet, Evan needs access to an X-Ray machine to take some photos and document. If you have access to an X-Ray machine he's willing to give you a set of the plates for helping out.
There are two such plates shown at the site, made up as stencils carved into an X-ray opaque plate about the size of your average carry-on bag. One says "NOTHING TO SEE HERE". The other is an American Flag.
Now, consider, what do you think the reaction would be from your friendly local airport authorities upon seeing such an item in your luggage?
Would you (reasonably, I think) expect to be given additional scrutiny? Have your bags and person checked more thoroughly? Be 'interviewed' by the security personnel? Perhaps miss your flight? Have your name added forevermore to the 'terrorist list', meaning hassles each and every time you'd try and fly in the foreseeable future?
For having a stencil of an American Flag in your luggage?
I'd say we've reached that point.
Perhaps we should reconsider this.
Jim Downey
(Cross posted to my blog.)
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Another implementation idea
Very fine wire is now available for beading (jewelry). It's supposed to handle like coarse thread. I wonder if you could embroider a design that would show up in the X-rays? Even more cleverly, embed the X-ray-visible design in something totally different made of traditional embroidery thread? So when they open the bag that says "F*ck Homeland Security" all they see is a pretty picture of butterflies or something. I don't know if it is doable -- I don't embroider -- but it's fun to imagine the possibilities.
My Dad used to do this
My Dad used to have a piece of cardboard in the bottom of his briefcase with "HELLO" spelled out in that lead-based tape they put on windows for alarm systems. At the time, it got a lot of chuckles from the security screeners. It probably wouldn't be a good idea these days.
I've done something like this
When I pack a lot of books, or other odd things that will trigger a search (such as paperweoghts, candles, or jars of jam), I often add a note at the top of my suitcase saying "I know you are searching my bag, probably because of..... Have a nice day!" With a smiley face or a flower or a smiley flower or something.
Sometimes I still get the obligatory "We had to search your bag" paper. For a while, I just left them in the bag, or put the old ones on top, and let them accumulate.
but if enough people started
but if enough people started putting them in their luggage, it might server to point out the absurdity of the current system.
Just Wondering
Say you had one of those metal plates in your checked luggage, the pieces that go into the regular cargo hold, and it said "F*ck Homeland Security!" Or "President Bush sucks donkey d*cks!"
... Could you be charged with public obscenity or something like that? I mean, the thing would never actually be seen in public. Except for the x-rays, it would be a completely private expression of opinion. And since it's not carry-on, you could honestly say you didn't expect it to be x-rayed.
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