A Grateful Heart

Dave and Pat are clients of mine. I started working on their computers two years ago when Dave was still on the winning side of his battle with Leukemia. Lately, things have turned for the worse for him; I received the following email, and though I don't think he's died yet, I believe that may be in name only.

Dear Family and Friends,

By now most of you are aware of what my situation and circumstances are. Those who are not can ask Pat and she will fill you in. Originally, I had wanted to send a personalized message to each one of you, but I quickly recognized what an impossible and enormous task that would be.

I have come to realize that every person who has passed through my life, every person that I have had contact with, has had something to teach me, some gift to give. This includes people who have had harsh lessons to bring as well as those that have been more pleasant.

Within the past few weeks I have had visits from some of these people and they have helped me see this all the more clearly. To avoid the risk of procrastinating and ending up with no time for anyone, I am sending this to all the people I can think of who have been my teachers or guides.

We usually take for granted that when saying goodbye or so long to our friends that there will be a next time that we get together. We don’t stop to think that this time may have already been the last time. For many of you, we will not see each other again and the thought of this brings about great sadness.

To those I am writing now please see this as my last effort to speak to as many as I can who have given me these great gifts. All of you in some way small or large have taken part in shaping who I am now, and for this I am truly grateful.

Even though I may not have seen you in a long time, know that I think of you, and care about you.

Know that anything I have been able to absorb from any of you or anywhere else, for anything you can use, do so and please pass it along freely.

I don’t want to be putting myself in some sort of position as a guru. I’m only trying to say if I have seen something, or had some kind of insight that you haven’t seen or heard, it’s yours just as much as mine.

I want for you to have the sense of your absolute worth, to have the strength to not let anyone take that away, and to protect your dignity. And to realize the very same of others.

If you haven’t already, figure out what’s important to you and find a way to do it. Don’t wait for the “right” time. Discover what you have a passion for and make that your life’s gift.

Be thankful, for there is always something for which we can be appreciative.

These past few months have in many ways been a difficult time, but it has given me the time to reflect and to realize what’s important. And that is love. When we can no longer do those things that we had thought had given our life meaning, all we can do and be is love.

Peace and Namasté,
Dave

I wouldn't say that Dave and I were close; he and his wife were clients, and ones that I liked, but we didn't socialize outside of when I worked on their computers. I knew he was dying, but the last time I saw them (sometime in 2007, sadly) he had been getting along pretty well. It's not a shock that he's all but lost his fight now, but it is a disappointment.

The thing that struck me most about his "last letter" is the lack of any specific religious reference. I believe there is a distinct spirituality present, but nothing that would indicate if he considered himself a Christian, Jew, Muslim, or Buddhist. In fact, his and Pat's house was one of the few I visit in my line of work that didn't have the trappings of some religion or another on proud display.

Dave had an extensive library, and I glanced through the titles one day when I was there. There were some books about Christianity, some I certainly wouldn't have wasted money on, but there were more about spirituality and, predictably, about death and dying. I don't know if Dave believed in a god or gods, or if he considered himself affiliated with a religion or sect. But I think I can safely say he respected other people regardless of their beliefs, as long as they deserved that respect. And whatever he believed, his was an educated belief.

Reading the email again, I'm honored to have been included in that mailing list. I sometimes doubt whether I make an impression in life, other than my immediate family and friends. To have a good man like Dave confirm that in some small way I did matter to someone outside of the small sphere I'm usually in means a lot.