A place of my own

my thought is that you have to bend a little to become a member of a group. painful but possible.

(Please forgive if this double-posts. I tried to comment and for some reason it didn't come up.)

Give the UU a try - my atheist boss attends UU, likes it. You can put if their goddyness if they can put up with your godlessness.

Outside of family...outside of work....

The humanist groups I have been a part of in the past were not warm & fuzzy, but you do get to share some basic world views.

Unitarian (now UU I guess) groups vary from community to community. (some members believe in a god others don't...some groups are more like god churches...some are looser fellowships...) They do provide a community and also provide for children. Try a few out.

On line there are the Scientific Pantheists (World Pantheist Movement). A few local real time groups are now emerging. Maybe there is one in your area.

Communal music can also provide that feeling of being a part of something larger than just ourselves, if that appeals to you. That is why most religions incorporate music.

...you should go ahead and go for the UU church. Go on a sunday and give it a try. I doubt that a website can do them justice considering the broad range of topics they will cover. For instance, the UU church I have gone to in the past covered Native American religions, the Tao, several philosophers, and every once in a while Christianity. They are really the most religious bunch of agnostics and atheists you'll find. At least, that was my experience at the church I have been to in the past. I'm sure they vary greatly.
That said, a good read about their early history is 'Out of the Flames', by Lawrence and Nancy Goldstone.

- Matt

If you want a regular place where you can feel like you're part of something, you can try any sports club. Sports clubs work in much the same way as churchs/mosques/temples, and the experience of, say, Manchester United fans who feel welcome in any Man. U. bar in the world parallels this of Baptists who feel welcome in any Baptist church.

If you're looking more at the political or metaphysical angle, there are activist organizations that cater to atheists and/or humanists: Americans United, American Humanist Association, even the ACLU.

I would suggest the environmental movement - Global Warming is one of those BIG - Long Term Issues. Try the Sierra Club local chapter. You don't have to camp, hike or climb (but it helps!}

• The Washington Ethical Society
• Secular Humanists

Cycling club. Bowling group. Fishing buddies. Scottish heritage/highland games society. Political action committee. Habitat for Humanity. MoveOn.org. Save the black bears. No-kill pet shelter.

How about this: Form an evangelical atheist group, and get people involved. Join the Center for Inquiry on Campus, and snatch college kids from the jaws of their parents’ religion.

Down deep, I'm thinking this post may actually be the asking of two different questions:

"What larger thing can I devote myself to?"

... and ...

“How can I find a community where I feel loved?”

Leaving religion can, initially, leave these two large holes in one's life.

Unfortunately for the fledgling freethinker, churches have this business of "larger thing I can devote myself to" down pat. Even if they have the wrong answer, if you can swallow it, it can feel really good. They’re so CERTAIN about it all. Even when they’re flat-out wrong, even when they’re mean-spirited about it, they never stop having ALL the answers about “larger thing I can devote myself to.”

As to the sense of community, becoming an atheist and leaving a church can be, initially, kinda like standing one minute in a stadium filled with people who are partying, hugging, cheering, serving each other fried chicken and slices of cake, meeting and greeting and exclaiming how big each other’s children have grown ... and then stepping through the exit and walking over to a vacant field, alone.

Churches have had thousands of years to figure out how to become broad pervasive social presences in people's lives. Leaving that can be tough.

But ... the discomfort you feel initially is only the turbulence of transition. It goes away. You find something, or some things, to devote yourself to. You find people you care about, and who love you back. And sometimes you find them both in the same place.

Give yourself some time, and remember, you had a good reason for taking the exit out of that stadium.

Think about some larger thing you already care about. Find or form a group that addresses it, and deliberately make it a warm, fun experience for all of you.

For me, the larger thing was nature. (I’m working – very slowly – on a book on man-and-nature, and I’m thinking I might like to someday soon form a black bear rescue organization.)

Meanwhile, for most of us, there’s always family, which can fill both needs.

You could try something like Toastmasters, or some other club or society. You get a pseudo-sense of community and you improve yourself at the same time.

Thank you all very much for the replies. You've given me a lot to look into.

Not sure what part of Maryland you're talking here, but if it's DC suburban, you might try Paint Branch UU. I attended services there for about a year, for girlfriendy reasons, and it may work for you. Not goddy at all, though the format is still churchy (sermon, sing, pass the plate).

The building and setting are beautiful, the people all seemed quite nice, and the co-ministers (especially Jaco) are truly great orators. Plus they have a spectacular piano and a really good choir.

In the end, for me I'd rather spend my Sunday morning digging in my yard or wiring in my basement, but if you want a non-goddy progressive community, you might want to check 'em out.

As a UU, I can say that you may find it a bit goddy. It sounds as if your mind is made up on the big questions; most UU's are still trying to sort it out. We just won't let anybody tell us what to believe, but we're happy to discuss the possibilities. You will be welcomed and will not be proselitized if you decide to try it.

I live in Annapolis and went to the UU church there about 18 years ago. [Late addition: Now I read the other posts and learned you're in the Frederick area, so Annapolis probably won't work.]I heard the minister comment once about explaining that he didn't believe in Jesus and may not even believe in god. He's still there, but I can't account for his current thoughts. I haven't attended because I ultimately didn't like the social atmosphere, though I have friends there, and I have performed with a theatre group that has done some non-religious plays there. My short experience there suggests that UU churches range widely just in how much god stuff they get into.

I'll be curious to read some of the other ideas people offer for ways to gather; mine is theatre, though I am open to others as well. I would like to meet more people with common perspectives.

I started a student freethought organization at my university (UF). If you have the time and willpower, I suggest doing it, if your community can support it (if you have a decent population base). Get in contact with the CFI and try things like the Brightsnet and other "portals" where lots of atheist groups and people network to get started and get ideas.

Rick,

See:
http://www.wash.org
http://ncas.org

You might also want to try MeetUp.com

Good luck! Now if I can just find one out in Roanoke, I'll be all set!

Robert Herrick