Utter Lunatics

OK, the story of the three teenagers using a skull as a bong wasn't *exactly* the usual fare for UTI. In an effort to make up for that, I bring you this news item:

Kids, mom lived with 90-year-old's corpse for weeks in Wis.

MADISON, Wis. - Two children and their mother lived for about two months with the decaying body of a 90-year-old woman on the toilet of their home's only bathroom, on the advice of a religious "superior" who claimed the corpse would come back to life, authorities said Friday.

he children — a 15-year-old girl and a 12-year-old boy — cried hysterically Wednesday after a deputy who came to their Necedah home looking for Magdeline Alvina Middlesworth ordered them out because of the stench from her body.

The children were in foster care Friday. Their mother, Tammy Lewis, and self-described "bishop" Alan Bushey remained in custody on felony counts of being a party to causing mental harm to a child.

Mental harm? That would be the religious indoctrination, right? You know, this part:

He should just draw the Blessed Virgin on his head with a Sharpie instead of wearing a helmet from now on! Key quote from the article:

[link] There has been no word on if the Diocese of Monterey will investigate Lipton's leg as a legitimate apparition of the Virgin Mary.

My cognitive dissonance meter just exploded.

Well, the Church of All Worlds, it ain't:

Former follower: Sect leader wanted to sleep with teenagers

CLAYTON, N.M. - For 16 years, he followed a man who calls himself Michael, finally settling along with other families on a former ranch in a remote corner of New Mexico.

There were red flags along the way, but John Sayer didn't break away from the apocalyptic church until late 2005.

Michael "said God told him that he was supposed to sleep with seven virgins," recalled Sayer, 36. Two were to be Sayer's daughters, then 14 and 15.

OK, the cheap shot here would be to bash all religions as being about power and exploitation. And I don't go in for cheap shots - I'm better than that.

Because I don't think that is true. However, the magical thinking usually associated with religion makes believers more susceptible to power games and exploitation by crazies and con men.

I thought Jesus was already dead?

[link] A teen accused of plotting to blow up his high school told police that he wanted to die, go to heaven and kill Jesus, federal authorities said Tuesday.

Seriously, though, this kid needs psychological help. He's obviously gone nuts. Christianity's myth structure simply provide him the framework to hang his insanity on.

Jeff Mullin is a "Senior Writer" for the Enid, Oklahoma News & Eagle newspaper. A few years ago he wrote an article "poking fun" at atheists for having the unmitigated gall to suggest that traditional god-belief was exactly the same as belief in an Invisible Pink Unicorn (blessed be Her unseen curly mane.) He subsequently received a letter from an atheist who asked him what gave him the right to ridicule atheists for their lack of belief?

Nothing, apparently. He just likes to ridicule atheists. So, nice Christian guy that he is, he decided to do it again. This time in a column dripping with insincere pity for the poor, deluded atheists.

How very thoughtful of him.

More below the fold...

Okay, via the wonderfully horrifying FTSTDT, this post

http://www.pronatal.org/2008/04/04/contraception-harms-people-society-an...

Is a disjointed diatribe on why contraception is bad. But it takes reading to see how far up the crackpot scale this goes.

Worth noting: From this article, he (It's doubtless a He. Isn't it?) doesn't appear to be a Christian Fundy. He's arguing on the basis of evolution, in a manner of speaking.

This site's mission statement:

"The human race is currently in an ugly contraceptive zombie state of dogmatic sexual repression."

So you've got some idea what you're in for. I suppose it has some context with the recent fundy Mormon controversy, though...

Steve "Does this person KNOW any women at all?" James

Nah, not me. That's the title of a new Rolling Stone article by Matt Taibbi.

Taibbi went 'undercover' to attend an Encounter Weekend at John Hagee's Cornerstone Church in Texas. Hagee, you may recall, has been recently in the news for being batshitinsane, and oh yeah - for endorsing John McCain for president.

And Taibbi is not being metaphorical or ironic in his title. He is referring to the culmination of the Encounter Weekend, where:

Offered without further comment . . .

KINSHASA (Reuters) - Police in Congo have arrested 13 suspected sorcerers accused of using black magic to steal or shrink men's penises after a wave of panic and attempted lynchings triggered by the alleged witchcraft.

Reports of so-called penis snatching are not uncommon in West Africa, where belief in traditional religions and witchcraft remains widespread, and where ritual killings to obtain blood or body parts still occur.

Rumors of penis theft began circulating last week in Kinshasa, Democratic Republic of Congo's sprawling capital of some 8 million inhabitants. They quickly dominated radio call-in shows, with listeners advised to beware of fellow passengers in communal taxis wearing gold rings.

. . . because none seems necessary.

Jim Downey

Illinois state Rep. Monique Davis has apologized to Rob Sherman, who has graciously accepted her apology, for attempting to deny him his civil rights in a public hearing that he was invited to testify before last week.

Apparently it's OK to be a bigoted, unconstitutional, theocratic asshole if you're having a bad day.

I'm going to be completely preoccupied with another project for the next several days, but I just could not resist passing on this delightfully wacky site. Here's a little excerpt, from one of their posts titled "WHY ALL EVOLUTIONISTS ARE CRIMINALLY INSANE":

Well, first, for this edition of this web page, we will not be addressing the criminal nature of evolutionists’ insanity. That we will do at a future time. So, for now, why are all evolutionists insane? They are all insane because they have no “legend of empirical advent.” What is a legend of empirical advent? It is “one or more things that demonstrate or imply the existence of something unseen.” And keep in mind it doesn’t matter whether these things are real or imaginary.

I hate April Fools Day. I'm cynical and skeptical enough as it is, and when 4/1 rolls around, I tend to dismiss almost *everything* I hear or read in the news.

Combine that with never quite being sure when some religion is real or some kind of elaborate hoax (I mean, Scientology? Mormonism? Raelism? It's a joke, right?), and when someone sends me something like this, I really wonder:

The Supreme Court on Monday agreed to step into two free speech cases, one involving a church that wants to place a religious monument in a park and the other on payroll deductions for labor union political activity.

Officials in Pleasant Grove City, Utah, asked the court to step into the lawsuit brought by the religious group known as Summum, saying that if the group prevails, governments would be inundated with demands to display donated monuments.

Oh my, it's worse than I thought. All I can say is... ew!

And please boycott Nike.

A Christian theocracy in our country? How can you say that? You civil libertarians are all crazy!

[link] Witnesses said the presiding judge, Covington County Circuit Judge M. Ashley McKathan, told some 100 people, including members of the Morning Star Missionary Baptist Church and other spectators and officials gathered for a conference regarding the church records case, to join hands in a circle as he prayed.

At one point, witnesses said, the judge fell to his knees.

Pfft. What's the big deal? A judge orders more than a hundred people in a state courtroom to gather in a prayer circle while he falls to his knees and prays. Who cares? What, are you some sort of atheist commie pinko?

Father Raniero Cantalamessa, writing a "Gospel Commentary for Palm Sunday" in Zenit, the Catholic news service from Rome, Italy, has redefined atheism so that it means, well, theism.

How incredibly convenient!

[link] Jesus on the cross has become an atheist, one without God. There are two forms of atheism: the active or voluntary atheism of those who reject God, and the passive or suffered atheism of those who are rejected (or feel rejected) by God. In both forms there are those who are "without God." The former is an atheism of fault, and the latter is an atheism of suffering and expiation. Mother Teresa of Calcutta, about whom there was much discussion when her personal writings were published, belongs to this latter category.

On the cross Jesus expiated in anticipation all the atheism that exists in the world, not only that of declared atheists, but also that of practical atheists, the atheism of those who live "as if God did not exist," relegating him to the last place in their life. It is "our" atheism, because, in this sense, we are all atheists -- some more, some less -- those who do not care about God. God too is one of the "marginalized" today; he has been pushed to the margins of the lives of the majority of men.

So, as you can see, all atheists really do know that God exists, but they either choose to "reject" Him, or they are going through so much suffering that they lose sight of Him. Mother Theresa's atheism is a good thing, you see? It means that God was heaping on extra punishments and torment for no reason - because she was so saintly and good. Obviously she needed to be tortured her entire life. And this is proof that He exists! Hallelujah!

And God Himself is "marginalized"! The horror! The poor, put-upon, all-powerful Universal Creator of everything is sad because every time He punishes one of his most faithful creatures over the course of years, then refuses to provide any evidence that He actually exists in any real sense, they stop believing in Him. It makes me weep, really.

That means that all of us atheists who make the simple claim that god-belief of any kind is absent within us are delusional liars.

I see.

Thank you Father, for your enlightened Palm Sunday commentary in which you attempt to marginalize and demonize 12 to 15% of the world's population. But that seems to be one of the things the Catholic church does best. Create the illusion that a group of fellow human beings are somehow sub-human, then use that perception to get the upper hand politically

Great job! Mission accomplished! I am SO looking forward to your God making me suffer. Maybe I can be as big an atheist/theist as Mother Theresa if He keeps me alive long enough, and I get painfully tortured enough!

Yes! Religion is so great! And Catholicism is the best religion ever!

Update: D'oh! The Manka Bros punked me with this one. Nicely done satire!

Dammit. I missed the obvious "white Christian teen rapper" angle when I was looking for my multi-million dollar record deal.

I strongly encourage all you pagan atheists to have a stiff drink before watching this delightfully insane video. (I'm 100% serious here. Have a drink of something before clicking the Play button. Make sure you swallow first.)

And yes, I am well aware that more exposure for this tweener singing/rapping dynamic duo means that they will probably sell more records - and I am perfectly OK with that. More power to 'em. Fleece the sheep for all they can bear, seems to be their father/producer/manager's motto. It's a textbook lesson in exactly how one can indeed worship God and mammon, contrary to what their holy book says.

Enjoy.

A glimmer of light appears in the middle east.

[link] After almost five years of war, many young Iraqis, exhausted by constant firsthand exposure to the violence of religious extremism, say they have grown disillusioned with religious leaders and skeptical of the faith that they preach.

In two months of interviews with 40 young people in five Iraqi cities, a pattern of disenchantment emerged, in which young Iraqis, both poor and middle class, blamed clerics for the violence and the restrictions that have narrowed their lives.

"I hate Islam and all the clerics because they limit our freedom every day and their instruction became heavy over us," said Sara Sami, a high school student in Basra. "Most of the girls in my high school hate that Islamic people control the authority because they don't deserve to be rulers."

Atheer, a 19-year-old from a poor, heavily Shiite neighborhood in southern Baghdad, said: "The religion men are liars. Young people don't believe them. Guys my age are not interested in religion anymore."

Feeling a little haggard? (Sorry. That was just inappropriate. *snicker*)

[link] In January 2007, Ted Haggard voluntarily agreed to enter a process of spiritual restoration. He has selected Phoenix First Assembly and Pastor Tommy Barnett as his local church fellowship and is maintaining an accountability relationship there. He has recently requested to end his official relationship with the New Life Church Restoration Team and this has been accepted by them.

New Life Church recognizes the process of restoring Ted Haggard is incomplete and maintains its original stance that he should not return to vocational ministry. However, we wish him and his family only success in the future.

I honestly had no idea he was in Phoenix.

The whole "curing teh gay" thing is complete and utter bullshit. Haggard is, oddly enough, a victim of the entire Judeo-Christian anti-gay sentiment. As a young man it seems to have caused him to reject who and what he was, a gay man. He appears to have to shamefully hidden it from even himself for years, and engaged in dangerous sexual liaisons on the sly - probably rationalizing them in his own screwed-up brain every time as "reaching out to a sinner" or some such.

Sad really.

It hurts his family, which like it or not he is responsible for. I'll also bet the guy is losing his mind at this point after a year of anti-gay "cures", witch doctor's spells, and shamanic chanting. (Or whatever they do. Kill a chicken and read the guts? What?) I actually feel a little bit of pity for the poor guy. I hope he can resolve his personal situation in a healthy fashion, for his wife and kid's sake if for nothing else.

The convenience store was busy this morning. It's kind of a "last chance" stop before the commuters heading out to the power plant turn off the highway, so it's busy most mornings. I grabbed a black coffee and a newspaper and stood in line to check out. Eventually the line shortened and I ended up at the counter. I placed my coffee and newspaper down and reached for my wallet when I noticed something odd about the clerk.

"Hey," I gestured with a friendly smile, "you have a little smudge there on your forehead." I snagged a Kleenex from the box thoughtfully provided for customers between the registers and handed it to him.

I looked down at my wallet and dug out my debit card. When I looked up again I was taken aback... The guy was glaring at me!

Nervously I asked him, "is there something wrong?"

I saw him visibly struggle to settle himself down. "That'll be $2.75, Sir."

Then I remember. Today is Ash Wednesday. He's a Catholic, or some other sect that practices this particular ritual. "Ahhh... ," I said, with another smile to take the edge off his anger. "I didn't realize what today was."

He rang up my purchase, swiped my card, and I punched in my PIN.

"How," he asked with a supercilious sneer barely under control, "can anyone not realize it's Ash Wednesday?"

"Well, I'm an atheist, um," I peered at his name tag, "'David'. I don't usually keep tabs on every religion's quaint little rituals."

Then the minimum wage, pimply convenience store clerk, who happened to be participating in a stone age public religious ritual, with freakin' palm frond ashes that were rubbed onto his forehead by a magical shaman, has the gall to look at me like I was the crazy one.

I understand it was horrible. Andy Rooney's fangs speared from his demonic slash of a mouth, ripping the Christian flesh off of poor, poor evangelist Tony Didlo's throat, spilling his blood in the street like a fountain. Then Andy Rooney howled like a wolf and started rooting around in Didlo's guts while he cried for mercy from the curmudgeonly old atheist. Random atheists on the street - you know, because there's so many of us - cheered as Rooney smeared blood all over his face and swung a loop of intestine around and around, smacking the whimpering, dying Christian witness repeatedly in the face.

Then he went to the Super Bowl and enjoyed the game, leaving the evangelist dead in the streets of Phoenix, like us atheists always do when we come across defenseless Christians.

[Baptist Press] PHOENIX (BP)--As thousands of people thronged Phoenix for the Super Bowl, a small contingent of Christians spread out across the metropolitan area to share their faith in Christ.

One of them had a chance to talk with Andy Rooney, the commentator whose curmudgeonly complaints wrap up the weekly "60 Minutes" program on CBS.

"I was standing on a corner and turned around and there was this little old man walking across the street," said Tony Didlo, a member of Grace Church, a Southern Baptist congregation in Des Moines, Iowa. "I knew right away it was Andy Rooney."

Didlo held out a Gospel tract and asked Rooney if he had received one yet.

"Yeah, I've got one of those," Rooney replied, according to Didlo's account of the Jan. 31 encounter.

"Sir, do you believe in God?" Didlo asked.

"No, I'm an atheist," Rooney said. "I think it's sad you people believe in that stuff."

Didlo tried to pursue the conversation, asking if the existence of creation didn't imply a creator, but Rooney's cameraman stepped in between them and said, "We've got to go."

"He wouldn't let me go any further with it," Didlo said. "I was surprised he thinks people are totally off their rockers for believing in God."

It's official. Huckabee wants to amend the Constitution to bring it into "God's standards".

[link] "[Some of my opponents] do not want to change the Constitution, but I believe it's a lot easier to change the constitution than it would be to change the word of the living God, and that's what we need to do is to amend the Constitution so it's in God's standards rather than try to change God's standards," Huckabee said, referring to the need for a constitutional human life amendment and an amendment defining marriage as between a man and a woman.

Huckabee often refers to the need to amend the constitution on these grounds, but he has never so specifically called for the Constitution to be brought within "God's standards," which are themselves debated amongst religious scholars. As a closing statement he asked the room of nearly 500 supporters to "pray and then work hard, and in that order," to help him secure a victory in Tuesday's GOP primary.

We are in deep trouble if this lunatic gets elected. Get out and vote, folks. Anyone is better than this guy. It absolutely floors me that in this day and age a Presidential candidate can make a statement like this - and be dead serious. This country is teetering on the brink, and will self-destruct if a religious fanatic like Huckabee is elected to the Presidency. It is up to us to stop it.

Damn. This scares the crap out of me.

(Video below the fold.)