News Of The Weird

A family in Saudi Arabia is tired of the harassment, tired of the violence, tired of the theft of property. They're not taking it lying down, and are going to bring the perp to justice. Who is this Menace 2 Saud-ciety?

Why, a genie of course.

Per the BBC:

A family in Saudi Arabia is taking a "genie" to court, accusing it of theft and harassment, reports say.

They accuse the spirit of threatening them, throwing stones and stealing mobile phones, Al Watan newspaper said.

Here's the best part:

A local court says it is trying to verify the truthfulness of the claims "despite the difficulty" of doing so.

I'm going to be really interested in what that final police report says. What happens if they have to take the genie to court? And what if it has to serve time? Do they make penitentiary lamps?


Originally posted at Bloc Raisonneur

Pub evacuated after Monty Python prop mistaken for grenade

Bomb disposal teams were called in and buildings evacuated after workmen mistook a Monty Python film prop for a hand grenade.

Water company engineers spotted the object when they lifted up a fire hydrant cover during work on a street in Shoreditch, east London.

The road was cordoned off and a nearby pub was evacuated amid fears that the "grenade" could explode.

But after nearly an hour of analysis bomb experts realised that the cause of the scare was in fact a copy of the "Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch" used by Eric Idle to slaughter a killer rabbit in the 1975 film Monty Python And The Holy Grail.

Makes me wonder whether there isn't a new version of the DVD coming out - this'd be a brilliant marketing gimmick.

Jim Downey

OK, I'm back from my wanderings. And naturally enough, I have a nasty touch of plague to show for it. Even though I have way too much to do, I will mostly take it easy today and see if I can get rid of the gak, so that I can be more productive later this week.

But I just had to take a moment and post this item, sent by a friend while I was gone:

Klingon sword used in two Colorado Springs heists

A man wielding a "Star Trek Klingon-type sword" robbed two Colorado Springs convenience stores early this morning, police said.

The first robbery happened at about 1:55 a.m. at a 7-Eleven at 145 N. Spruce St., Colorado Springs police said in an incident report. The second robbery happened at about 2:20 a.m. at a 7-Eleven store at 2407 N. Union Blvd.

Witnesses told police that a man wearing a black mask, black jacket and blue jeans entered the stores carrying a sword. The armed robber took an undisclosed amount of cash and fled on foot from both stores, police said.

Officers searched the area but didn't find the robber or the weapon, which was described as a "bat'leth."

Oh, this is good:

Man Complains About Buddhas At KC Zoo

KANSAS CITY, Mo. -- The Kansas City Zoo has received a complaint about Buddha statues in an Asian-themed area.

David Engle, of Overland Park, Kan., complained after visiting the zoo on Sunday. He said it's "phenomenal to me" that the zoo would put up two smiling statues of Buddha when "we can't have a cross or a nativity scene on public property."

Engle, who said he is Christian, called the statues idolatry and "infuriating to God."

Long story short: Three sixth-graders eat cookies on the schoolbus and get crumbs everywhere. The bus driver then pulls a knife, and threatens to slit their wrists if they don't clean up the mess.

Sounds perfectly appropriate to me. I mean, that is exactly what any rational adult person would do in that situation, yes? Lord knows that sixth-grade girls can be viciously violent when confronted with cleaning up cookie crumbs. If it were me, I would have waterboarded the little terrorists.

I learned to speak to an octopus!

Say Hebbo! from Torvakian on Vimeo.

OK, so Bigfoot was a bust, but there have still been a lot of great little weird news items recently. I thought I would pass on a few of my favorites, and ask for yours in comments.

Well, they used to hold naval battles there, so why not Pirates of the Colosseum?

Would this be Soylent Brown?

Rat snacks can solve world food price crisis: Indian official

Yum! And not to be outdone, the Aussies are saying we can save the planet by switching to 'Roo Burgers! Hmm, reminds me of a song...

Barry Broome is a Mississippi native, an agnostic, a former auto service store manager, and a current power company contractor. He also has a podcast and a blog where he dispenses debt-relief advice - and social commentary. For free! Wow!

He's also a completely batshit insane lunatic who blames all of the perceived ills of modern American society on allowing white women to work outside of the home and to choose not to be pregnant and married.

Of course. It's all so clear now.

Please Note: Those of you with a low tolerance for crazy may want to avoid clicking the link below.

[link] Is it any surprise that we kill our unborn children? Is it any surprise that white societies have declared homosexuality to be as normal as apple pie? Notice that these abominations did not take hold of our society until white women began to gain jurisdiction through our courts, our media, and our schools of higher learning. Is it any surprise that the Bible refers to women as the weaker vessel, and mans weakness as women? Is it not obvious that all white societies seek to enshrine that which is immoral and unjust?

It's going to take a few days to get the unclean stench of this man's ideas scrubbed out of my brain.

As a recovering Libertarian, I can tell you that sometimes unworkable ideas look pretty good on paper. Then again, you have to wonder what kind of people think the platform of The Constitution Party looks good on paper. Perhaps they don't read.

http://www.constitutionparty.com/party_platform.php

They just had their convention, highlighted by an attempt by Alan Keyes to hijack their party, ala the Reform Party and Pat Robertson--if any of you remember that.

Keyes, whose apparent claim to fame is as a national figure who loses elections, couldn't even win that election. They elected this guy http://www.chuckbaldwinlive.com/ Chuck Baldwin, "a Radio Talk Show host, syndicated columnist, and pastor dedicated to preserving the historic principles upon which America was founded." In for a penny, I guess.

Update: D'oh! The Manka Bros punked me with this one. Nicely done satire!

Dammit. I missed the obvious "white Christian teen rapper" angle when I was looking for my multi-million dollar record deal.

I strongly encourage all you pagan atheists to have a stiff drink before watching this delightfully insane video. (I'm 100% serious here. Have a drink of something before clicking the Play button. Make sure you swallow first.)

And yes, I am well aware that more exposure for this tweener singing/rapping dynamic duo means that they will probably sell more records - and I am perfectly OK with that. More power to 'em. Fleece the sheep for all they can bear, seems to be their father/producer/manager's motto. It's a textbook lesson in exactly how one can indeed worship God and mammon, contrary to what their holy book says.

Enjoy.

Offered without further comment.

[link] WASHINGTON (Reuters) - Voters in two Vermont towns on Tuesday approved a measure that would instruct police to arrest President George W. Bush and Vice President Dick Cheney for "crimes against our Constitution," local media reported.

Hahah! Surprise! It was all an art project!

[link] I feel a massive sense of responsibility to my art, but more importantly the readers of this blog. My closeness to this project must have made art seem like reality to many people. That is not a reaction that I expected nor can I morally justify. This is why my project, 90DayJane, will be taken down on day 80.

Welcome to the Internet, folks.

I always thought religious kooks had sticks up their asses, but things are getting out of hand. This summer Baptist minister Gary Aldridge of Montgomery Alabama died in some sort of weird autoerotic asphyxiation accident. Or as Republican's call it, natural causes.

From the Montgomery Advertiser:

He was found hogtied and wearing two complete wet suits, including a face mask, diving gloves and slippers, rubberized underwear, and a head mask, according to an autopsy report. Investigators determined that Rev. Gary Aldridge's death was not caused by foul play and that the 51-year-old pastor of Montgomery's Thorington Road Baptist Church was alone in his home at the time he died.

Immediately following his death, church officials issued a press release asking community members to "please refrain from speculation" about what led to Aldridge's demise, adding that, "we will begin the healing process under the strong arm of our Savior, Jesus Christ."

Former British spy David Shayler has cleared up the confusion for Christians all over the world. That's right, you Christian folks can stop worrying about that whole "second coming" deal because, well, David Shayler is the Messiah.

Praise David!

How do I know it's true, you say? Well, because David says that it's true - and the Messiah can't lie. Duh.

[David aka the Christ conciousness] "I am the last incarnation of the Holy Ghost (aka the Holy Spirit) or the Yeshua or Jesus Spirit (aka the Christ consciousness).

As the Holy Spirit is God incarnate as essence, I am God incarnated as spirit and man.

It is absolutely clear to me that the world is going to hell in a handcart. Few would dispute that humanity needs a Messiah to get it through these difficult times.

This is all rather embarrassing for someone who was an atheist technocrat three years ago. And I am painfully aware how mad all this sounds."

No, no, David, I don't think that you are aware at how completely and utterly insane you sound. Otherwise you wouldn't be calling news conferences to spotlight your lunacy.

David's mother was not available for comment.

Whaddya think? Could this be a subtle new front in the War on Terror?

Boy, 3, Hospitalized In Playground Squirrel Attack
Trooper, Adult Also Injured

ORLANDO, Fla. -- A 3-year-old boy, a Florida Highway Patrol trooper and another adult were hurt on Wednesday afternoon in a bizarre attack by a squirrel on a day care playground.

* * *

"There was a 3-year-old little boy sitting on the swing. The squirrel attacked him and didn't want to get off of the child. We threw things at it to try to get it off and nothing. Finally, we were able to take it off," day care director Maritza Diaz said.

The trooper, who was working an accident near the playground, responded, and FHP spokeswoman Kim Miller said he was jumped by the animal. He tried to shoo the squirrel away, but it attacked again and scratched and bit him before he could escape.

Quick! Get a new Homeland Security appropriation passed! We need to confront this new menace before more 3 year olds and highway troopers are attacked!

Jim Downey

PZ is being sued for libel in New York Southern District Court by Stuart Pivar, author of the "Lifecode" books. Apparently because PZ reviewed them and found them wanting.

Wow. Suing someone for a bad review. That's the way to do real science, Stuart. Nice job.

A good write-up from Scientific American.com here.

PZ comments here:

[link] Huh. I'd heard some noise from Pivar threatening to sue, but this is the first I've heard of any formal action being taken. Since I'm a defendant (one who hasn't been notified of his status!) I suppose I should just shut up at this point and let justice run its course.

Since I'm a blogger, though, I can't completely shut up. I will just say that this is Pivar's attempt to squash a negative review of his book, which I posted here. Nothing in the review was motivated by personal malice, and I actually am inclined to favor structuralist arguments in evolution ... but I'm afraid my honest assessment of Pivar's work is that it does not support his conclusions. I still stand by my review, and now I'm a bit disturbed that someone would think criticism of a scientific hypothesis must be defended by silencing its critics.

I am sure most of you haved heard about Atlanta Falcons quarterback Michael Vick's recent troubles concerning dog fighting. At first, Vick claimed to have no knowledge and blamed his cousin for holding dog fights on his property without his knowledge. Well, on Tuesday, Vick was indicted.

It seems Vick was VERY involved in the organization and promotion of the dog fights according to several witnesses. Usually, I am not a big PETA fan, I think they go way too far sometimes, but in this case, I am glad they are around to stand up and speak out. Please follow this link if you would like to tell the NFL what you think about Michael Vick's activities.

Now this is what I call stupid. A man brutally attacked a peacock in a Staten Island Burger King and the poor bird had to be euthanized due to its injuries.

Although it's not clear what would cause a man to mistake a peacock for a vampire the common guesses are drugs or mental disorder. In either case the man should be shot but will probably only get a fine or a little time in prison.

...when I almost wish that there was an actual Christian-style afterlife, just for the humor potential it would present. Imagine the scene standing before St. Peter at the Pearly Gates for these folks:

Naked couple die from S.C. rooftop fall

COLUMBIA, S.C. (AP) — Police on Wednesday were investigating how a naked couple fell 50 feet from the roof of a downtown office building to their deaths.

The bodies were found on the road by a passing cabdriver around 5 a.m. Wednesday.

Clothing was discovered on the roof, leading authorities to suspect the man and woman, in their early 20s, may have been having sex. Their identities were not released.

Jim Downey

Via Pandagon, a nice little news story tied to our friends at the Creation Museum:

Columbus, Ohio (AP) --
The man who plays Adam in a video aired at a Bible-based creationist museum has led a different life outside the Garden of Eden, flaunting his sexual exploits online and modeling for a clothing line that promotes free love.

After learning about his activities Thursday, the Creation Museum in Kentucky pulled the 40-second video in which he appears.

Yup, because you know, he can't have had a life at all prior to being Adam. But here's the best, and funniest, bit:

"For the Creation Museum, I did what I did as an actor. It doesn't necessarily mean I believe in evolution or a believe in creation," Linden said. "I'm hired to get a point across. On the flip side, if I was hired to play a murderer, that doesn't mean I'd go out and kill somebody. It's make-believe."