Inscrutable

I have been talking to the dead for my entire life and after 6 years of research I have perfected a new technique that, under ideal conditions, is more than 73% successful.

My objective is to use this new site to share my technique so that others too may talk to the dead.

More than 73% successful! Woo-hoo!

But the website will make you crazy. Just sayin'.

OK, so I couldn't resist posting about corpses again this weekend. I tried - almost made it - but just couldn't quite. I know, I'm weak.

I wonder, do they make a patch for that? Shots that help you quit?

Jim Downey

(Via MeFi.)

OK, the story of the three teenagers using a skull as a bong wasn't *exactly* the usual fare for UTI. In an effort to make up for that, I bring you this news item:

Kids, mom lived with 90-year-old's corpse for weeks in Wis.

MADISON, Wis. - Two children and their mother lived for about two months with the decaying body of a 90-year-old woman on the toilet of their home's only bathroom, on the advice of a religious "superior" who claimed the corpse would come back to life, authorities said Friday.

he children — a 15-year-old girl and a 12-year-old boy — cried hysterically Wednesday after a deputy who came to their Necedah home looking for Magdeline Alvina Middlesworth ordered them out because of the stench from her body.

The children were in foster care Friday. Their mother, Tammy Lewis, and self-described "bishop" Alan Bushey remained in custody on felony counts of being a party to causing mental harm to a child.

Mental harm? That would be the religious indoctrination, right? You know, this part:

Man, I thought I did a lot of crazy shit when I was a stoned adolescent:

3 accused of using corpse head to smoke pot

The Kingwood teenager's story of decapitating a corpse and using the head to smoke marijuana was so outlandish that at first Houston Police Department senior police officer Jim Adkins did not believe it.

Yet, Kevin Wade Jones Jr., 17, appeared almost indifferent as he relayed the bizarre description of his and two friends' activities at an Humble area graveyard, Adkins said.

"I just doubted it because it's very morbid, and I couldn't see anybody doing something like this," Adkins said Thursday.

Not until police went to the home of another Kingwood 17-year-old, Matthew Richard Gonzalez, did the officer believe the tale.

"He regurgitated in his plate of food when I asked him about it," Adkins said. "So I knew there was some truth to the story."

Yeah, that's usually a dead give-away. So to speak.

Jim Downey

He should just draw the Blessed Virgin on his head with a Sharpie instead of wearing a helmet from now on! Key quote from the article:

[link] There has been no word on if the Diocese of Monterey will investigate Lipton's leg as a legitimate apparition of the Virgin Mary.

My cognitive dissonance meter just exploded.

OK, the previous editions of "Confession Time" have been fairly light-hearted and fun. The rules were simple:

Confess to a guilty pleasure you have within that topic, and explain why it makes you feel guilty.

But I'm going to be serious this time. Because I am angry. Very angry.

I don't get angry often. Oh, I get ticked about this or that, annoyed at someone's behaviour (including my own), sometimes really pissed off. And on those occasions I can be a grump, muttering about what I would like to see happen to the thing/individual/world that has gotten my ire. But true anger - the sort of thing that makes me sit down, shut up, and coldly start planning what I am going to do next - that's very, very rare.

I'm not quite sure what to make of this new comic I stumbled upon via MeFi, but at least the start of the thing is rather interesting. Kind of a Zombie Western thing going, about a fellow who decides that he doesn't really want to be dead. That this decision comes following his funeral is a bit of a problem for the local townsfolk . . .

Anyway, start with The Decision, and go from there. The Table of Contents lists six episodes so far.

Enjoy. Or not. Your decision.

Jim Downey

(Cross posted to Communion of Dreams.)

Well, the Church of All Worlds, it ain't:

Former follower: Sect leader wanted to sleep with teenagers

CLAYTON, N.M. - For 16 years, he followed a man who calls himself Michael, finally settling along with other families on a former ranch in a remote corner of New Mexico.

There were red flags along the way, but John Sayer didn't break away from the apocalyptic church until late 2005.

Michael "said God told him that he was supposed to sleep with seven virgins," recalled Sayer, 36. Two were to be Sayer's daughters, then 14 and 15.

OK, the cheap shot here would be to bash all religions as being about power and exploitation. And I don't go in for cheap shots - I'm better than that.

Because I don't think that is true. However, the magical thinking usually associated with religion makes believers more susceptible to power games and exploitation by crazies and con men.

If your deity said it was now moral to torture people to death, would you do it?

C'mon. Yes, or no.

Please don't deliberately misunderstand the question.

Hypothetically, this is your deity, Creator of The Universe™, Giver Of All That Is Good™, Destroyer Of Evil™, etc., etc. You truly believe that this deity exists and you have been worshiping it since you were old enough to realize it. You go to It's church, you sing in It's choir, you love It. You pray to It.

Now, this deity makes it plain - through revelation, I suppose - that as faithful followers, you in other words, are to torture unbelievers until they die.

Why wouldn't you do it? Who are you to question the will of your deity? Isn't anything you do at your deity's behest automatically moral?

A few weeks ago my brother invited us to come out and see him play at a popular country & western steakhouse called "San Tan Flat". San Tan Flat is a fun, family place. There is a large outdoor area where you can sit and have dinner, and where the band plays. There's also a small, circular dance floor in front of the stage.

Now, Mrs. Inscrutable and I like to cut a rug now and then, and I was excited to be able to dance with her this time. "Man," I said to my brother, "It's been a while since we've been able to come out and see you play! It'll be fun to dance!"

"You can't dance there," said Mike. "It's against the law."

More below the fold...

I thought Jesus was already dead?

[link] A teen accused of plotting to blow up his high school told police that he wanted to die, go to heaven and kill Jesus, federal authorities said Tuesday.

Seriously, though, this kid needs psychological help. He's obviously gone nuts. Christianity's myth structure simply provide him the framework to hang his insanity on.

Via BoingBoing, news of just how vigilant they are in Detroit to make sure you read the label of any beverage you are served:

Boy, 7, taken from family after drink mixup at Tigers game

The sign above the Comerica Park concession stand said: "Mike's Lemonade 7.00.''

So when Christopher Ratte of Ann Arbor ordered one for his 7-year-old son at the April 5 Detroit Tigers game, he had no idea he was purchasing an alcoholic beverage.

Or that his son would end up spending three days and two nights in the custody of Children's Protective Services.

A park security guard spotted 7-year-old Leo Ratte drinking the Mike's Hard Lemonade, confiscated the bottle and took the family in for questioning.

Okay, via the wonderfully horrifying FTSTDT, this post

http://www.pronatal.org/2008/04/04/contraception-harms-people-society-an...

Is a disjointed diatribe on why contraception is bad. But it takes reading to see how far up the crackpot scale this goes.

Worth noting: From this article, he (It's doubtless a He. Isn't it?) doesn't appear to be a Christian Fundy. He's arguing on the basis of evolution, in a manner of speaking.

This site's mission statement:

"The human race is currently in an ugly contraceptive zombie state of dogmatic sexual repression."

So you've got some idea what you're in for. I suppose it has some context with the recent fundy Mormon controversy, though...

Steve "Does this person KNOW any women at all?" James

Nah, not me. That's the title of a new Rolling Stone article by Matt Taibbi.

Taibbi went 'undercover' to attend an Encounter Weekend at John Hagee's Cornerstone Church in Texas. Hagee, you may recall, has been recently in the news for being batshitinsane, and oh yeah - for endorsing John McCain for president.

And Taibbi is not being metaphorical or ironic in his title. He is referring to the culmination of the Encounter Weekend, where:

I was poking around one of my regular gun-board haunts, and saw a thread about a news report on the BBC about how us gun-crazed Americans are actually more tranquil and civil than might be expected - moreso than British society. Since, as I've noted here recently, I enjoy the UK, I thought I'd check it out.

The discussion was about what I expected, right up until someone started spouting . . . well, here's what the guy said:

First they gave up their guns, then they gave up their God. No Jesus, no peace, know Jesus, know peace.

A friend sent me a link to this NYT post by Timothy Egan, about the historical aspects of the latest fundie Mormon debacle in Texas:

Faith of Our Fathers

Watching the polygamists in West Texas come into the sunlight of the 21st century has been jarring, making you feel like a voyeur of some weird historical episode.

You see these 1870 Stepford wives with the braided buns and long dresses, these men with their low monotones and pious, seeming disregard for the law on child sex — and wonder: who opened the time capsule?

It's a bit interesting, but also a little bizarre. No, I'm not talking about the polygamous practices of the Mormons, either historically or in this current manifestation. I'm talking about this passage early on in the post:

Offered without further comment . . .

KINSHASA (Reuters) - Police in Congo have arrested 13 suspected sorcerers accused of using black magic to steal or shrink men's penises after a wave of panic and attempted lynchings triggered by the alleged witchcraft.

Reports of so-called penis snatching are not uncommon in West Africa, where belief in traditional religions and witchcraft remains widespread, and where ritual killings to obtain blood or body parts still occur.

Rumors of penis theft began circulating last week in Kinshasa, Democratic Republic of Congo's sprawling capital of some 8 million inhabitants. They quickly dominated radio call-in shows, with listeners advised to beware of fellow passengers in communal taxis wearing gold rings.

. . . because none seems necessary.

Jim Downey

Man, I love the UK, particularly Wales. Have been there half a dozen times, and enjoyed it every time.

But I have to admit, the whole creeping and creepy 1984 mindset about CCTV there drives me nuts. The Brits are well on their way to being a true surveillance society. As I have written recently:

I am constantly dismayed by just how much Great Britain has become a surveillance society, to the point where it is a dis-incentive to want to travel there. In almost all towns of any real size, you are constantly within sight of multiple CCTV cameras, and there is increasing use of biometrics (such as fingerprint ID) as a general practice for even routine domestic travel.

I was busy on Sunday with something else, so I missed this news item:

Christians clash at Jesus' tomb on Orthodox Palm Sunday

JERUSALEM - Dozens of Greek and Armenian priests and worshippers exchanged blows at one of Christianity's holiest shrines on Orthodox Palm Sunday, and used palm fronds to pummel police who tried to break up the brawl.

The fight came amid growing rivalry over religious rights at the Church of the Holy Sepulcher, built over the site in Jerusalem where tradition says Jesus was buried and resurrected.

It erupted when Armenian clergy kicked out a Greek priest from their midst, pushed him to the ground and kicked him, according to witnesses.

Gotta love it. Do these people have *no* sense of irony, or what?

Jim Downey

I mean, who *hasn't* wanted to do this?

Prince William lands copter in girlfriend's garden

LONDON (Reuters) - Prince William landed a Royal Air Force helicopter in the garden of his girlfriend Kate Middleton's family home but the Defence Ministry defended his actions, saying he achieved essential training objectives.

The News of the World reported on Sunday that 25-year-old William, second in line to the British throne, asked Middleton's parents' permission to land at their home in Berkshire, southern England, because of a shortage of landing slots in the neighboring county Hampshire.

* * *

The ministry said helicopter bases continually sought permission from landowners to use their fields and there were only two fields permanently available in Hampshire.

"Opportunities to use alternatives are therefore regularly seized. The aircraft landed in the field, after taking all necessary safety precautions, and was on the ground for 20 seconds.

20 seconds?? Now, that's what I call a quickie!

Jim Downey

Gotta love it. The folks over at Feministing get the usual kind of misogynist hate mail you would expect, but sometimes things turn out a little bit differently from what the sender intended:

Anti-feminist mailbag (the missing 5% edition)

We receive a lot of hate email here at Feministing, and this one was too good not to share.

Men are better than women look at the comparison in IQ men are scientifically proven to have a higher IQ by roughly 5 points, or 5% you cannot dispute science sorry and if you want a much better website than your shitty one you might want to go to [redacted]. I think you would gain a lot more knowledge from that website and you might learn about the truth that way you would not be so stupid and ignorant you stupid cunts.